He seemed sad despite the good news. I reached over to touch his hand. "We couldn't have done it without you. It was your sexy muscles that made it happen in the end."
Drake flexed, and I fake-swooned and laughed. It felt good to laugh, to flirt, to be with him alone.
I wished it could last.
But each bite of our dinner took us further away from each other.
Our conversation reminded me of how two strangers on a first date acted in movies. Why couldn't we talk like normal people?
Drake cleared the table and brought out raspberry sorbet for dessert.
I took a small bite, and the sweet tangy raspberry flavor aroused my taste buds. "Thank you, this is really delicious."
"I'm glad you like it." He ate his in silence.
"Drake, what's wrong with us? Why can't we find things to talk about anymore?"
He put down his spoon. "I don't know. Maybe because our whole relationship has been focused on problems, we've never learned to just have fun together."
What he said made sense. First we had come together to escape, and now we were on the run with a baby on the way. This was actually our first date.
He stood and my heart fell. Was he giving up already?
"Why don't we watch a movie together? We can relax, cuddle, and just enjoy each other for a few hours."
My heart lifted once more. How could I think he'd give up on us? He'd never do that. "I like that idea. What do you want to watch?"
His eyes twinkled mischievously. "I was thinking X-Men?"
"I can't believe you remember that!" We had watched that movie once before, sort of. Luke and Lucy had come over to console me while I got over what I thought was the flu, and we watched it together. Drake had "watched" along with us in my mind. It was my favorite movie ever.
He started the movie, then sat on the couch and held me.
I snuggled into his chest and enjoyed his heady scent. "Wouldn't it have been awesome if Rent-A-Kid had been run by Professor Xavier? What a cool place to grow up."
He kissed the top of my head. "Yeah, I wish you'd had that life. You've had to go through so much."
"At least I have you, now. That makes it all worth it."
When the movie ended, we headed back to our bedroom and resumed cuddling.
Only cuddling led to kissing and kissing led to touching and....
I pushed Drake away and fought against the warring feelings in my body. On the one hand, a heat stirred in me that only he could quench. On the other, fear and panic took over whenever we got too close to crossing that line.
"I'm broken." Tears fell off my cheeks, and I didn't bother wiping them. "I'm sorry you got stuck with me. You should be with someone who can... who is more experienced and less traumatized by the thought of sex. I just—I can't get the thoughts of what they did to me out of my head. It's so hard, Drake. Whenever we go too far, something switches in my brain and my whole body reacts in panic."
"Sweetheart, stop. I love you and only you. I wouldn't change anything about you—except if I could destroy Rent-A-Kid and your pain, I would. There's nothing wrong with you. What you're feeling is totally normal, considering what you've gone through."
"You're not mad?"
"No. Never." Drake sighed and moved his body away—just a fraction of an inch, but enough to relieve the sexual tension that had built between us.
Relief and disappointment surged in me. This is what I wanted, right? No pressure until I'm ready. So why does it feel like I'm losing him?
"Just know that whatever happens, I love you. Never forget that, Sam, okay? Whatever happens."
Chapter 41 – Lucy
Four hours in a helicopter with Mr. Black rated as one of the worst experiences ever for Lucy—and that was only the part she was conscious for. Nobody had told them they'd be lugging around the deadweight of Head Goon on this assignment. When the helicopter finally landed on the roof of a super-secret—and weren't they all super-secret—facility in Russia, Lucy and Luke scrambled out so fast they nearly tripped over each other.
Frigid air whooshed around Lucy, whipping her long, dark ponytail into her face. She tucked her hair into her jacket and nudged Luke in the ribs. "Ladies first, Bro. Or have you forgotten all your manners?"
"Desperate times call for desperate measures."
Mr. Black stepped out behind them and growled.
Again.
If they'd been playing a drinking game each time he growled, Luke and Lucy would have both been sloshed thirty minutes into the trip.
A Russian scientist in a crisp white lab coat greeted them with a handshake. He raised his voice over the roar of the helicopter blades, his English stilted but clear. "I am Dr. Koslov, the head scientist here. Follow me, and I will show you to our lab."