But I'd dreamed his memories for so long that the little boy he had been transposed over the man he had become—and I saw all of his true and complete self.
His anger and violence, the dark shadows that haunted his soul, made sense in the context of the life he'd been given. I embraced it all and offered him sanctuary inside my heart.
In return, I found my own solace in his.
How I wished we could stay in that moment, relishing the magic of each other, but we needed to see if we could connect to Luke and Lucy.
He followed my lead, since I knew what mental vibrations to look for. It wasn't so much like traveling over a geographic area as turning to the right channel on the television.
When the link switched on, it flared strong and sudden.
Lucy screamed in my head, and we almost dropped the link. Luke's thoughts drifted next to hers, which surprised me. I'd never linked with so many people at once—like a party in my head. I suddenly had an image of Being John Malkovich.
"Shhh, calm down. It's me, Sam. Drake is here too. We're testing our combined powers."
'Oh my God, Sam, I've been worried sick about you!' I could hear the tears in her voice.
"Are you okay?"
'We're fine,' Luke said. 'It's been hard without you here, and all the staff is getting weird. We haven't managed to send pictures to Drake's friend. They're cracking down on security since you left. Even assignments have been cut back.'
'I wonder what's going on,' Drake said.
"Oh my God, you guys, Rebeka is here. And very pregnant. She looked miserable." I'd tried to link with her several times, but couldn't find her. I worried something terrible had happened.
Lucy sounded sad. 'That's awful. She was sweet. Her para-power should have been kindness instead of seeing through walls.'
"Yeah, it broke my heart to see her. Oh... and it gets better. I'm starting to show. We're going to have to escape soon, before they realize I know everything."
My head pounded as if a team of construction workers had moved in. How long could I maintain this link? My muscles spasmed, and sweat flowed from my head in small rivers.
We explained quickly. Much to my friends' credit, or insanity, they readily agreed to be guinea pigs for us.
We experimented, making Lucy jump up and down, Luke sit in the corner, and Lucy stand and sit over and over. We had to sync our thoughts and focus really hard to make it happen. We had a lot of misses at first, but we figured it out through trial and error, and our successes became more consistent.
"Thank you for letting us do this," I said. "What does it feel like?"
'It's like your body and mind split,' Lucy said, 'and somewhere inside, you know you're not in control, but then it doesn't matter. Those times you told me to forget, I have no memory of anything.'
"You are the best friends. I miss you so much. We will escape, and we will find a way to get you guys out. I swear. I wish we were all together, in our apartment in New York, debating what to do on a Saturday afternoon. Not living this nightmare."
'Hang in there, Sam. We'll all make it through,' Luke said. 'And Drake, you'd better take care of her and that baby, or I will find you and make your life hell.'
I missed Luke. I missed both of them so much it nearly crushed me.
Much to Drake's credit, he accepted my friend's threat in good humor, promising to do anything it took to keep us safe.
I hung on to the link longer than I should have, not wanting to say goodbye to my friends. When my nose started bleeding and my head hurt so bad I nearly passed out, I forced myself to break the link. Tears rolled down my cheeks and onto the hot gravel at my feet.
At times, when I thought about what we were up against, I feared our task would be impossible. Then I felt my baby swimming in me, reminding me with a gentle mental tug that hopelessness was not an option.
Now we knew we could control willing subjects from a great distance. Our test had been successful, the knowledge gained useful. The headaches, not so much.
When my hour was up, I slogged back to my room, showered quickly, and slept for most of the afternoon.
***
I didn't make it two days before my only wardrobe choices came with elastic bands, as my belly swelled too much to suffer through buttons and zippers. Not as if I had to dress nice for anyone, stuck in a room alone all day. My "dates" with Drake didn't exactly require a dress code.
"What do we do when we get out of here?"
'What do you mean? Like how do we take down this whole organization?'
"That, yes. And us. I have no home, no life outside these walls. No one even knows I exist. I have no ID, no last name even. How will I survive out there?"
I didn't really expect an answer, but it helped to talk to about it all. The terror of failing burned like a wildfire in my chest. The fear of success sat like a brick in my stomach. I didn't want to become a ghost in the world. A nobody.