“Because a restraining order would keep her from Hudson too.” I frowned. “As long as he’s with me, that is.”
“Is that why she’s saying all this stuff about you? Is she in love with him?” His question was tentative, as if he were afraid the subject would hurt me.
“Maybe. I’m not sure if she’s in love with him or if she wants to mess with him. People warned me not to trust her. It makes me wonder if she has a rep for doing shit like this. I’m not sure.”
“All I can suggest is to stay away from her now.”
“No kidding.” Actually, Celia’s scam had me wondering about her and Hudson in a different way. It couldn’t be entirely coincidental that they were friends and both of them had instances of manipulating people. More and more I believed they’d played their games together—as partners or as competitors, I didn’t know. And I wasn’t sure I wanted to find out.
“Oh.” Out of the blue I remembered what Brian was in town for to begin with. I dug into the purse still hanging loosely on my shoulder and found my old apartment key. “I need to give you this.” I held it up for him.
He leaned forward but stopped before he took it from me. “You sure you don’t want to keep it? I could sign another year lease. In case things don’t work out here.”
“Which is very possible at this point.” I flipped the key along its ring. It felt heavier than it should, and I wanted it out of my hands. At the same time, I had to be smart.
Brian studied me. “I told him, you know. Hudson. That I knew you didn’t stalk that girl.”
My eyes met his. “What did he say?”
“Nothing. He’s a very hard man to read.”
I let out the breath I’d been holding. “Yes, he is.” What had I expected? For Brian to convince Hudson of the truth and that everything would now be hunky-dory? Even if Brian had changed Hudson’s mind, would I be able to forgive Hudson for not believing me when I said I didn’t do it? Lauren had said that if I wanted to stay with him, there would have to be forgiveness. How much could I forgive?
In that painful moment, when I wanted Hudson back so bad that every fiber of my being ached with longing, I would have forgiven anything and everything. And that wasn’t necessarily the best thing for me.
Good thing he was out of the country. Hopefully I’d be stronger by the time he returned.
I leaned forward and dropped the key in Brian’s palm. “No. I don’t want another lease. I don’t want you taking care of me anymore. It’s time for me to do it myself. If things don’t work out here—” My voice caught and I had to swallow before I could go on. “I’ll have to get something cheaper. Which is fine. I could find some place closer to the subway. Maybe I’ll get a roommate or something.”
Brian nodded. He could tell that moving wasn’t what I wanted, but there wasn’t any point discussing it. What mattered was that I had options. I’d be okay.
We sat in comfortable silence for several minutes, before I got the strength to try to make it to bed. “I’m gonna go collapse now.”
Brian stood first and held his hand out to help me up.
“Goodnight, Bri.”
I was at the end of the hall when Brian called after me.
“Yeah?” I turned to look at him.
“Let’s not be like them, okay?”
He didn’t have to specify for me to know exactly what he meant. “You mean the hateful, spiteful, backstabbing family thing isn’t appealing to you?”
“Not really.”
I stared at him in the dim light. He seemed younger than usual, more boyish than I tended to think of him. A week before, I thought he was out of my life. Now he was asking not to be.
My smile was weak but sincere. “Then it’s settled. We won’t be like them.”
Without even undressing, I fell onto the much too large, much too lonely bed. Burying my sobs in the pillow that smelled the most like Hudson, I cried until dawn when sleep finally swallowed me in its welcome black void.
Chapter Twenty
When I stumbled out of bed the next morning, I felt hungover. Emotionally hung over, I guess, since I hadn’t been drinking. I stripped out of the dress I’d slept in and replaced it with my robe. I found a pot of lukewarm coffee in the kitchen, and after heating up a mug in the microwave, I set out to find Brian.
He turned up on the balcony. He was sitting at the patio table flipping through a stack of papers. Something for a case, I supposed. Brian was the take-work-with-him-everywhere type of guy.
“Good morning.” He looked at his watch. “Or should I say good afternoon?”