“It seems like that would be the right thing to do, doesn’t it?” Her eyes glazed over as she was thinking, remembering perhaps. When her focus returned, her expression was apologetic. “It’s…it’s complicated. I can’t say more than that. I’m sorry, I wish I could. But it involves more than just me. You have to trust me, this is best for everyone. Hudson included.”
It bothered me that there might be something about the situation that I didn’t know, that Hudson hadn’t chosen to share. But maybe Celia was simply making up excuses, not ready to let her parents know the truth. “Like I said, I don’t know what I trust.”
“Alayna—”
I cringed at her use of my name. No one called me Alayna but Hudson. It wasn’t hers to use. It was his.
The door swung open behind us and someone walked in. We were both quiet until the woman took an empty stall.
“This is a bad time. But you have my number. Call me if you need anything. To sort things out or just to talk.”
I hesitated. The evening had shown me many things, one of which was how easily keeping secrets could tear Hudson and me apart. I didn’t want to keep lying to him. Perhaps this was a good opportunity to end my friendship with Celia. Maybe even come clean about our lunch dates thus far.
Seeming to sense my reluctance to “kiss and make up,” Celia put her hand over mine. “I want things to work out for Hudson more than you can imagine. Believe me.”
Celia gave one more sparkling white smile before exiting the restroom.
I pulled my phone out from my bra and considered deleting her contact info. It was certainly the safest. But, on the other hand, she’d been helpful to me providing insight that I lacked. And she was important to Hudson. I didn’t want to cause problems by being a divide between them.
Funny. The old me would have done just that. The old me, the one before therapy—that me would have made Hudson choose. Her or me. Now, as nice as it sounded to be free of the Werners, I had no desire to force an ultimatum.
And besides being incredibly unrealistic and unhealthy, I was pretty sure Hudson would never go for it.
Chapter Thirteen
It was only seconds after Celia walked out and I had stowed my phone back in my bra when Mira stepped into the vanity from the stall area. Since no toilets had flushed recently and I hadn’t heard any running water, I realized she must have been standing around the corner for a while. Her face was more serious than I’d ever seen, and something about her expression made me feel unexplainably guilty.
“Hey,” I said, trying to shake the strange feeling.
She pierced me with her brown eyes. “You were talking to Celia.”
“Yeah.” I put my hand on the vanity counter for support even though I hadn’t done anything wrong. We were at a family get-together, eight of us in total. Should I really not be expected to talk to one of the other guests? To my boyfriend’s only friend?
“I don’t think you should do that anymore.” Mira’s voice was even and absent of any chiding.
“Why?”
She softened as she stepped toward me, her regular bubbly persona returning. “She’s your competition, Laynie! I mean, Hudson is totally into you and no one but you, but Celia is after him. She’s pictured herself married to him for so long, it’s a done deal in her head.”
“I know, I know.” A strange pang of pity washed over me. Maybe Celia really didn’t want Hudson, and everyone just kept saying that she did, accusing her of something that she’d long past outgrown. I knew how that felt. To be thought still crazy long after I’d gotten better.
Swallowing, I voiced the defense that surprised even me. “She says she doesn’t, though. Want him, I mean. She really seems like she might be over him. She’s been really supportive, actually.”
Mirabelle fluffed the back of her bobbed hair. “Okay. Maybe that’s true. I might be overreacting. But I’ve known her my whole life, and she hasn’t always been the best person.”
I could imagine what it looked like to Mira, when Hudson had left Celia heartbroken and devastated. To the young impressionable teenager that Mira must have been, it would be easy to blame Celia for the awfulness that had surrounded Hudson. Especially with her as devoted to her brother as she was.
But she was a grown-up now. She had to see the story was bigger than she’d once thought, even if she didn’t know the details. “Hudson hasn’t always been the best person either,” I reminded her.
Disappointment flashed across her eyes.
“I’m not saying that I’m not for Hudson. I don’t care what he’s done or who he’s been. Truly.” I would stand by him no matter what shit he’d gone through, just like he stood by me and all the shit I’d done. “It’s only that we’ve all been worse people.” Except probably Mira. “At least, a lot of us have been worse people,” I amended.