RYAN
Thursday wasn't supposed to be a big deal. Brooklyn was throwing the cookout to say goodbye to her friends since they were going to head off to college and she was staying behind. For me, it should have been like it always had with Tana. Two friends hanging and catching a ride together. Until she walked out of her house and suddenly I couldn't concentrate on anything else. I don't know where the fuck Tana got that scrap of material she was wearing, but there wasn't enough of it to be called a dress.
The fact that I didn't want other guys looking at how much of her it revealed burned within me. I wasn't some jealous prick who thought a guy had a right to approve or disapprove how a girl dressed. I didn't think a guy had the right to act like a jealous ass, especially if he wasn't even in a relationship with the girl. I was angrier with myself about that more than anything. The boundaries of our friendship kept sliding closer together and the lines were starting to blur. It was supposed to be Tana. Ryan. Not Tana and Ryan as in a couple. So why the fuck was I thinking like we were part of a couple? Not wanting other guys to look. Or to be with her. Why was she all the fuck I could think about lately?
As soon as I parked outside Brooklyn's house, Tana swung the car door open. She sent me a friendly smile that only made the churning inside of me get worse. "Thanks for the ride. We don't have to enter together. That way, if you see someone you want to hook up with, she won't get the wrong impression that you're with me."
Her comment first stunned, then pissed me off. "It doesn't bother you?"
She picked up the small purse she'd brought along and checked the contents before snapping it shut. In the makeup she had on, her eyes looked darker, more mysterious. "It's what you do, Ryan. We're not in a relationship. Go in and have fun." She slid from the car and the back of her dress eased up enough for me to get a glimpse of her tanned thigh and the swell of her tight ass.
I exited the car and trailed behind her, liking the way that her hips swung in the dress. What she'd said in the car had thrown me out of sorts and my stomach felt weird. I tried to think friends-only thoughts as I watched her, but it was hard to concentrate when I knew that soon there would be nothing between us but our heartbeats.
Inside the packed house, it was like goddamn mating season on the farm. In seconds Tana was surrounded by assholes masquerading as guys. I'd gone to school with two of them. The other one I didn't recognize.
"Niiiice, Tana," Asshole #1 said and reached out to stroke her shoulder.
I forced myself to keep walking even though I'd like to rip his hand off and hold it up over my head like a trophy. Wall to wall people gyrated to the thumping rock music, bumping into one another, laughing and shrieking. I threaded my way through them to the kitchen where Brooklyn had a variety of liquor displayed. One of the demons from my past that I'd turned to one too many times waited for me in the group. I looked away. I didn't let myself go that far any more. I still drank but not to the point that I couldn't even remember my own fucking name.
Brooklyn swayed up to me, sipping from a Solo cup, her eyes amused over the rim. When she lowered it, she looked pointedly in Tana's direction and said, "Can't believe you walked away from that."
I poured myself a Coke.
Her mouth dropped. "You're not drinking?"
"I'm driving."
She looked past me, then back. "I can get someone else to take you home, so feel free to have a few."
"I came with Tana. I'm driving her home."
She slapped her forehead, then smirked. "Oh, that's right. And as a good friend, you want to make sure you're there for her. As her friend, you want to watch out for her. You're not fooling me, Ryan."
"Fuck off."
She leaned closer and smiled, reminding me of a cat watching a mouse. "It's okay. I won't tell her." Brooklyn irritated me sometimes, but not half as bad as Tana's friend Shelby.
I downed half the Coke. "Tell her what?"
"That you love her."
I glanced toward the living room where Tana was dancing with Asshole #2. "We're friends."
"With future benefits, I hear."
Shit. I should have known Tana would talk to her friends about us. "You seem awfully interested in Tana's life. Might be helpful if you get one of your own."
She laughed and took another swig of her drink. "With the way my brothers hover over me, sometimes it seems like all I get to do is live vicariously through my friends." She looked around the room. "But since they're not here tonight, I plan on eating great food, getting wasted and having drunken party sex. In that order."
Weaving out of the kitchen, Brooklyn moved into the crowd and slid her arms around a guy. He immediately started grinding against her. Brooklyn was crazy. Me, in love with Tana? What a joke. No, what I felt for her wasn't love. It was friendship. She was beautiful, kind, and sexy as hell. Too sexy for my peace of mind lately. All I wanted was for her to have a good life. For her dreams to come true. Nothing more to it than that.
I backed up and sat on a stool, resigning myself to a few hours of boredom.
Chapter Seven
TANA
Sam, the guy I was dancing with seemed to have four hands and they kept roaming my body. The third time I moved his hands off my ass, I told him to knock it off.
He laughed and lowered his hand again to squeeze my ass hard enough for it to hurt. He pushed up the back of my dress. "You like playing hard to get?" He dipped his head and tried to kiss me.
I turned my head away so that his slobbering kiss landed on the side of my face. When his hands tightened and he tried to rub himself against me, I pushed back and brought my knee up to nail him in the balls.
"Oh!" He doubled over. "Bitch!" he moaned and cupped himself.
"No means no, asshole." I shoved him away from me and went to get a drink. The music was giving me a headache. I'd danced for an hour and the cookout wasn't nearly as fun as I'd thought it would be. I walked into the kitchen and my feet became glued in place.
Ryan was sitting on a stool at the counter. A blonde had her arms wrapped around his waist, leaning into him, pressing her breasts against his chest. To my relief, Ryan wasn't kissing her. He had his hands on her waist to hold her back.
"One kiss, Ryan. You used to like the way I kissed."
"No, I liked the way you gave head. Go kiss your boyfriend."
She giggled and waved a hand dismissively. "He's out back in the pool." She ran her hand up Ryan's thigh and squeezed. "You and I could do a quickie."
I felt sick at the sight of her hand on him and at the thought that he might take her up on the offer.
"Maybe you should join him in the pool and cool off." Ryan let go of her.
The blonde took the rejection with a jutting pout of her lower lip and glared at me as she brushed past.
Ryan raised his eyes to mine and it was like in the movies when the background noise faded. All the people disappeared and only Ryan was there in the house with me. I moved forward in slow motion until I stood in front of him. Raising my arms, I put my hands on either side of his face and leaned forward until our lips touched.
Before I could do more than give him a whisper of a kiss, Ryan was on his feet and he wasn't happy with me. "How much have you had to drink?"
I frowned. "I don't know. Not much."
"Uh huh."
"I'm not drunk, so if you're worried about taking advantage of me, don't be. Kiss me."
"Don't be shy, man. Give the girl a kiss," a guy behind me said.
I whirled around to see Cooper. He looked a little worse for wear today in jeans and a T-shirt with his dark hair tousled. His blue eyes were ice cold and his expression tense. I wondered what was going on with him.
"Cooper," Ryan said, and the two bumped fists. When Cooper moved his arm, I saw several dark tattoos that looked like angel wings with words in the center of them that I couldn't read.
"Heard there was some shit with Chanos."
"Nothing I can't handle," Ryan said.
"If it turns into something, call me."
"Yeah, thanks, man."
Cooper's gaze swung to me, raking over my figure from head to toe before he raised an eyebrow at Ryan. They had some kind of secret communication that I didn't understand.
"Coop. No." Ryan didn't say anything more, but Cooper's expression changed and he nodded. He walked over to the kitchen counter and helped himself to a beer. Twisting off the cap, he threw it toward the garbage can.
I figured out what he'd meant with the raised eyebrow look at Ryan. He'd thought I was one of the girls in line for Ryan's revolving bedroom door. "I'm Ryan's friend," I stressed the word friend.
He grinned, clearly not believing me. "If that's your story."