“I’m sure he was not.” Maud looked down at her hands laced tightly in her lap. “There was no evidence of such—such leanings. Or of other women.”
“I see.” Henry looked far from satisfied. “He did break your maidenhead? He wasn’t impotent?”
“He broke it, but,” she swallowed, forcing out the words, “but he could not always—in fact he was barely able to—”
“Perform his matrimonial duties,” he finished for her. “Yes, I begin to understand now. How old were you when he first came to your bed?”
“Sixteen.” Maud rose, so she would not have to face him, and began to walk back and forth across the pavilion.
Her father looked dumbfounded. “Sixteen? He did nothing before that? Never fondled you? Looked at you? Nothing?”
As she shook her head, an image of the Emperor, dressed in the familiar nightshirt, appeared in Maud’s mind. In all the years of their marriage, following the dictum of Holy Church, he had never seen or touched any part of her body, with the exception of a paternal embrace or affectionate kiss on the cheek. His only contact with her had been through the hole in his nightshirt. Although she was aware that her mind fascinated and challenged him, Maud assumed her physical aspect—perhaps any woman’s—left him indifferent.
How much of her husband’s ascetic behavior was due to his own bias, and how much to the influence of the church—which proclaimed all desires of the flesh to be sinful, even within marriage—Maud had never been able to determine. Nor had she dared discuss the matter with anyone except Aldyth who, being a virgin, was as mystified as herself.
The one time—prodded by Aldyth—she had tentatively brought the matter up to her confessor, Father Sebastion, he had given her a severe penance for even thinking about fornication. Such thoughts were forbidden, he warned her, while at the same time asking the most intimate questions about what exactly the Emperor did when he came to her bed. Did he touch her body? Her breasts? Her female parts? If so, for how long? Did he kiss her in these places? Did he scrutinize her naked body? What positions did he use to copulate with her? She found herself repelled and shocked by the zeal with which Father Sebastion interrogated her, his voice quite breathless as he asked if the Emperor had ever entered her “more canino.” The idea of her austere and aging husband mounting her like a dog was so farfetched as to be almost laughable.
“So, you have never known love’s pleasures.” Henry’s voice intruded on her thoughts and the Emperor’s picture faded.
Pleasures? Remembering her rigid submission to the Emperor’s joyless fumblings, Maud could not imagine anything less pleasurable.
“By God’s splendor, the Holy Roman Emperor impotent,” he continued. “More priest than man, by what you say.” He walked over to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. “I understand now that which was not clear to me earlier. God forgive me, Daughter, I did you a great wrong when I married you to this unnatural man, thinking only to bring honor to our house by such an alliance. Who could have known he would disgrace you in this manner.”
“Sire, he did not disgrace me,” she began hotly, but he silenced her with a look.
“Of course he did, of course he did.” His voice was harsh and implacable as he stepped back, his hands falling to his sides. “Did you know that all Europe, ignorant of where the true fault lies, assumes you to be a barren woman? Is that not disgraceful? And what disgraces you, Madam, disgraces the House of Normandy.”
Her lack of children had seemed a personal matter, concerning only the Emperor and herself. Was it possible that the world sniggered behind her back, making crude jests at her expense? In despair, Maud watched her father work himself up into a state of righteous indignation. How could she ever explain to this man, who apparently looked upon all her gender as either brood mares, instruments of pleasure, or pawns to be used for political advantage, that she had had great affection for her husband, and he for her. Despite his failure to give her children, the Emperor had opened up her mind, filling it with new ideas, encouraging her to learn and think for herself, giving her opportunities to test her abilities.
“You’re upset, I see. Who can blame you? I promise that this insult to our house will be removed; people will soon be singing a different tune.” Henry, his good humor restored, smiled at her. “I cannot tell you how relieved I am, Daughter, what a great weight has been taken from my mind.” He took her arm and opened the tent door. “I will walk you to your litter.” They walked outside into the dusk. “Tomorrow we leave for the coast to set sail for England.”