“Isn’t your boyfriend going with you?” He was watching my face so carefully I felt like he was trying to strip away my defenses and pry all my secrets right out of my mind.
I shifted restlessly in my chair. “Well...” Crud. What should I say? I mean, was I going to admit I’d lied the whole time?
“Don’t you have a date?” he asked.
Oh, man. The way he was staring at me, like I was the only thing in the entire world worth noticing, was overwhelming and incredible. I suddenly wanted him to know the truth. I didn’t want to lie to him. Of anyone in the world to know who I really was, I wanted it to be Rafe. “Well, I guess I have a date, but I just said yes to him last night because, well...”
Something glittered in his eyes. “You really did ask me.”
I opened my mouth to say yes, to confess it all, when I remembered Paige. Rafe had gone out with her last night. No matter what I said, it wouldn’t change that, and if I told him I’d lied, he might think I liked him, and then all this intimacy would be gone. I couldn’t go back to Rafe thinking I was stalking him. I wanted it to stay like this. I couldn’t risk the truth, and why should I? He had a girlfriend, so the truth wouldn’t gain me anything, but it might make me lose everything.
“No, I didn’t ask you.” I managed a snort of laughter and pulled my hand free, even though my heart was pounding. “I was just asking in case I needed to ask later. Like if my date got run over by a bus or something.”
He shot me a skeptical look, making it clear he didn’t believe me. “You really think I’d fit in at a semi-formal for St. Mary’s?” There was a flash of vulnerability on his face, and I realized he was serious.
He didn’t think he’d cut it for a St. Mary’s dance? Screw that. I knew all about not feeling good enough, and it sucked. So, I looked right at him and gave him the truth. “You’d fit in anywhere you wanted, Rafe. Anywhere.”
A slow smile curved his lips, and I smiled back.
“Does your boyfriend go to Inverness?” he asked.
There it was. My chance to tell him Les wasn’t my boyfriend. But what was the point? He just took Paige out last night. She wasn’t fake and I didn’t want Rafe to get uncomfortable around me again. This moment was too good to ruin. So, I nodded. “Les is a sophomore there. Plays football.”
“Ah. A football player.” Rafe gave me a speculative look. “I wouldn’t think you were the type to be into a football player.”
I wasn’t, but how did he know that? “What’s my type? You?”
He blinked. “What? Why would you say that?”
Oh, God. Had I really just said that? Just when we’d gotten past the awkwardness of him thinking I liked him, I had to go and blurt that out? What was wrong with me? Seriously? “Yeah,” I said, trying to turn it into a joke. “You’re the nephew of the woman put on this earth to torture me. My dream guy.”
His gaze narrowed, and the warmth vanished from his eyes. “You judge me for being Aunt Joyce’s nephew?”
No. I think you’re perfect. Like I could say that. So, I shrugged, and grabbed a carrot from the plate on our table. “She hates me.”
Rafe frowned. “She doesn’t hate you.” He looked around, then leaned forward until his lips were only an inch from my ear. “Don’t tell my parents, but she saved me when they freaked out, Lily. She’s tough, but without her...” He paused, and I looked at him. His face was so close to mine, all I’d have to do is lean forward and then our lips...
Then I noticed his eyes. They were so sad. So incredibly lonely.
I touched his cheek, and he grabbed my hand and held it against his face. “Without her, I’d have lost it. Give her a chance to help you, too, Lily. It’s all she wants to do.”
I pressed my lips together and tried to understand what he was saying. She had talked my mom into giving me a break from lessons, and she was here tonight, right? Besides if Rafe liked her, then she had to be okay, didn’t she?
The lights suddenly dimmed and Rafe’s mom walked out on stage. “I’d like to welcome you to our traditional Tuesday night Battle of the Ivories.”
Rafe and I turned toward the stage, and I felt Rafe lean back in his chair and rest his arm over the back of mine. Probably because it was more comfortable like that. Not because he was making a move. But still, I knew it meant that he’d felt our connection. Maybe it was just as friends, but it was still there between us, an understanding. Something very cool.
I smiled and leaned back against his arm. Rafe might be dating Paige, but tonight, it was just us. But I realized it was good I was going to the semi with Les. I needed to do whatever it would take for me to stop thinking about Rafe as a boyfriend, because a night like this was just way too tempting. I didn’t want to mess it up by making him think I liked him or wanted him as my boyfriend.