“They don’t know.” I’d gotten it pierced with Maria, a flutist from England who’d been on tour this summer. We’d snuck out after a particularly miserable recital at this library where there’d been only three people in the audience. It had been a gorgeous Saturday and the rest of the world had been at the beach or somewhere else fun. Maria had been the one cool chick on tour, and I think I could have been friends with her, but then she’d gotten invited to solo for some concert series in Europe and she’d left me behind.
But at least I had the ring. I’d done it because I’d figured it would be a great feeling to be stuck in a boring recital in my frilly dress, knowing I had a belly button ring that Crusty and my parents would never allow. The truth was, it sort of made me feel even worse, like it was a stamp on my forehead that said I was too wimpy to stand up for who I wanted to be, and all I could manage was a secret earring shoved through my navel. Plus it itched and got caught on things. Washcloths were now banned from my life.
Not that I’d taken it out. I felt like as long as I had that sparkling green stone in my belly button, I had a chance.
Val touched my green stud in reverence. “Wow. That is so sweet.”
I grinned, already feeling a little better. My friends were seeing me right now, not looking past me. “See? I’m not a loser.”
Delilah was still looking skeptical. “What does Rafe think of it?”
Rafe again. Could she not drop the subject? “It was his idea.” Well, it probably would be, right? I mean, he seemed like a belly button ring kind of guy.
Val sat back in the chair. “It looks good. Did it hurt?”
“Not at all,” I lied.
Erin sighed. “I’m so jealous. I thought you were having the worst summer, and you were off with some boyfriend getting a belly button ring.”
Relief rushed through me at the genuine look of envy on her face. She had no idea as to the truth, and that was the way it was going to stay, until I could fix my life and actually have something worthwhile to talk about. I pulled my shirt back down as Mrs. Griffiths walked into the room and ordered us to our seats. As I slid into my seat next to Erin, she slipped me a note. Do you really have a boyfriend?
I wrote back one word. Yes!!!!!!
Are you going to invite him to the semi-formal?
Excitement leapt through me at the thought. What if Rafe was my date? How awesome would that be? Then I thought of his tattoos and Angel and I shuddered. How could I invite Rafe? No way. I could never do it. He can’t come.
Then who are you going to the semi with?
My mind raced to come up with a believable excuse. I chewed on my pen for a few seconds, then wrote, I don’t think I’ll go. It might upset him if I went with someone else. Yeah, that was why I was going to stay home. Because of my devoted boyfriend. Hah.
Erin snorted and Mrs. Griffiths glared in our direction. We both huddled over our books and it was a few moments before Erin slid the note back toward me. I checked out Mrs. Griffiths, then pulled the note onto my book. Come with us to practice today and pick out a guy. Rafe can get over himself.
I almost grinned. I had a feeling Rafe did need to get over himself.
But there was no way I could go to Inverness today. Miss Jespersen would be waiting for me at three o’clock at Mueller-Fordham. With my audition less than three weeks away, I had lessons almost every day. My fingers curled around my textbook at the thought of heading back into that torture chamber.
Erin slid me another note. So? Are you coming to Inverness today or what? You have to quadruple date with us to the semi.
Longing washed over me. If Val, Delilah and Erin all went to the semi and I stayed home, it would make me even more of an outsider. And I so wanted to go. Like, really, really, really badly. My belly button ring wouldn’t save me again.
I drummed my pen on my desk and thought about how I could swing getting over to Inverness so I could get a date for the semi. On Thursdays, my mom worked late. Since she couldn’t take me to Mueller-Fordham, I always took the bus home and practiced on my own.
No one would know if I went to Inverness instead, as long as I got home before my mom.
Excitement trilled through me at the thought of how much trouble I would be in if anyone found out. There was something compelling about the thought of bailing on practice, knowing it was so illegal. I’ll try to make it on Thursday.
Erin read my note and gave me the thumbs up.
God, I wanted to go so badly. But did I really have the guts to blow off practice?
I didn’t.
Did I?
CHAPTER FOUR
In my lesson two days later, Miss Jespersen finally made me cry.
I was sitting there at the stupid piano with the stupid tears trickling down my cheeks, and Crusty’s face was all scrunched up. “Why are you crying?”