“No, no.” Charlene pointed to a slight dent in the front fender. “See, it’s old, really old.”
Eddy was excited by Charlene’s new bike. He made enthusiastic noises and tried to grab the handlebars.
Charlene jerked it out of his grasp. “Get away, dummy.” She glowered at her mother. “If he so much as touches this bike, I’ll murder him. I mean it.”
“Beverly,” said her mother, “why did you come home on the school bus? I thought you were going to ride your bike to school from now on.”
“I had this flat tire,” said Beverly in a small voice.
“A flat tire already? Well, then, jump in the car. We’ll pick up your bike so Daddy can fix it.”
“No, no, Mummy. It’s—it’s in the gym, and everything’s all locked up by now.”
“Well, tomorrow, then.”
After a miserable night, Beverly confessed that her bike was gone. “This big boy, he came to the playground and grabbed it and took it away.”
“He stole your bike? A girl’s bike?”
“Right. Like maybe he had a sister or something.”
“What did he look like? We’ll call the police.”
So Beverly had to go on telling lie after lie. At school there were more lies. “Isn’t that your bike Charlene’s got?” said Becca. “It looks just like it.”
“No, no, it’s not my bike. I—uh—gave mine to my cousin. Didn’t I, Charlene?”
“That’s right,” said Charlene, smiling sweetly at Becca.
“Lord Fish, Lord Fish!” cried the fisherman, rowing in a circle, looking up anxiously at the dark clouds gathering in the sky.
The great fish appeared above the slowly heaving sea, and whispered, “Here I am.”
“Oh, Lord Fish, forgive me, but my wife would like to ride in a golden chariot drawn by six white horses.”
“It shall be as she wishes,” murmured the fish. Leaping in a great arc out of the water, he plunged back into the deep.
Chapter 23
“My grandmother, what big ears you have!”
“The better to hear you, my child!”
Charles Perrault, “Little Red Riding Hood”
“Listen,” said Fred Small, “some guy was here the other day, wanted to look at a lot. I took him all the way to the end of the property, he said he’d talk to his wife.”
“Did you get his name?” said Bob Gast. “When the deal goes through we’ll send him a brochure.”
“Kelly, I think. Homer Kelly.”
“Homer Kelly! No kidding? Hey, he’s my landlady’s uncle. Big professor. Listen, when’s Pearl coming back? Where is she? She’s got to sign on the dotted line, or we can’t get going. I mean, my expenses are colossal. You wouldn’t believe—”
“Don’t get so upset. She’ll sign. I—uh—had a postcard yesterday.”
“Where from? Where is she?”
“Albany, big hotel in Albany.”
“Albany? I’ll bet she’s at the Regency, right?”
“I don’t remember. I handed it over to McNutt. He’s got those gossip columnists on his tail. You know, MISSING WOMAN WAS BATTERED WIFE. This’ll shut ’em up.”
“Well, great. Good for you, Fred.”
“Professor Kelly?” The voice on the line sounded familiar.
“Sergeant Kennebunk? Hey, how are you? Have you got the chief’s job yet?”
Kennebunk cleared his throat. “Professor Kelly, Chief McNutt would like to speak to you.”
“His Honor, Rollo McNutt, he’s right there?” Homer made a derisive blubbering noise. “Well, okay, put him on.”
There was a pause. Homer could hear a muffled explosion from McNutt and an apologetic mutter from Kennebunk. Then McNutt spoke fiercely into the phone. “Listen, Kelly, I got news for you. Mrs. Small, she’s in Albany. Her husband got a postcard. You want I should read it to you?”
“Well, okay, go ahead.”
McNutt read the postcard in a horrible falsetto.
Dear Fred, this is a luxury hotel
in the heart of downtown Albany,
with 229 rooms, a London pub,
a French cafe, a hairdressing salon,
and an indoor pool. I’m exploring
the fashionable shops located
in the lobby. Love, Pearl.
Homer couldn’t believe his ears. “Hold on. Just read that again.”
McNutt harrumphed, then read it again very fast, in his own voice this time. “So you see, pal,” he said, coming down heavily on the word “pal,” “the woman is not missing, she’s on a shopping spree in Albany. Kindly get lost.”
There was a savage crash in Homer’s ear. Wincing, he stared at the phone, then called back the police department in Southtown.