Wrapped up in a blanket of hope that my mom could see the same special things in Sarina that I did, I wasn't even aware that my head rolled back and I fell asleep at some point. I had no idea how long their hushed voices washed over me, before I recovered from my power nap and sat there with my eyes closed for a few more minutes.
"No, I swear it, never," said my mom, "but I saw a few. No offense intended to them, but … they looked like, well, skanks."
Sarina laughed quietly.
"But you're really … " my mom searched for the words for a moment. "Nice. That sounds like a weak word to describe it, I know, but … um … it's not supposed to be. I mean, you seem like you really care for him. That's all a mother really wants for her son. Somebody out there who thinks about him as much as I do before I kick the bucket. You've got to be good to him, Sarina, he's been through a lot with all this. That's all I want you to promise me."
"I can't promise that … unless you make me a promise too," said Sarina.
"What's that?"
"I need you to promise to stick around for a while to make sure I keep my promise. You need to fight for every day. No more of this "we'll see" and "bucket-kicking" bullshit."
"Well … I can't say I approve of the language. I hope that doesn't rub off on my Ryan, but … OK. I'll promise to fight. That's the best I can do."
"Good enough for me, Ms. Crewe," said Sarina.
"Oh, you. Call me Diana. Hey, do you like baking? I was just reading a brownie recipe in this magazine I bet you could fatten Ryan up with."
Ryan
I craned my neck up at the Acardi building, wondering if Alberico was up there right now. If I hadn't had that meeting with him right at the start of my arrangement with the Acardis, I might have wondered if he was a work of fiction, because I hadn't seen him since.
Just inside the main entrance, a few men wearing "W. Darrin & Co Construction" high visibility vests came and went amongst the more professionally dressed members of the Acardi Crime Family, and the people who worked in the various businesses housed in Trafford Tower who had no idea who they really worked for.
They thought they were travel agents, accountants or personal assistants, many of whom had been pretty pissed at being temporarily relocated as the construction workers made their way through the building, checking for damage and making repairs as necessary since the earthquake. In reality, they were cogs in several interconnected money laundering machines, but at least their inconvenience was coming to an end, as the work was almost complete.
I sighed. I had big plans for this building. Plans that would entail a shitload more inconvenience for everybody, to put it mildly. Especially the Acardis.
Lately, though, all that had seemed to fade into the background in terms of importance. Ever since the night of the Halloween party, Sarina had decided that we'd moved slow enough for her liking and we'd been fucking like bunnies.
All I could think about was shaking Sarina's body again and again, tasting her, and hearing her scream my name, when she was capable for forming words at all. Then, when we weren't fucking, she was the sweetest, toughest, most supportive person I'd ever met.
My mom hadn't looked this healthy in over a year. She glowed when she saw Sarina and I walk through her door, and even in that stark hospital setting, I felt complete. Maybe it would be easier and ultimately more satisfying to just disappear with as much of the Acardi's money as I could, rather than take their place in a bloody coup.
The idea of all that power was still wildly alluring. To own a city, and then who knows where I might go from there? On the other hand, to earn the love of a woman like Sarina was incredible too. A large and growing part of me thought it was more powerful.
Was it possible to have both? A question like that was going to take more than the time required for the elevator to take me up to the forty-seventh floor, and my monthly meeting with Giovanni.
I'd barely started the mental logistics of leaving the path I'd been walking on for the last couple of years, when I had to dismiss that train of thought and concentrate on the scowling Mafioso behind his desk. Giovanni looked unhappier and more full of himself than usual.
"Sit the fuck down," he said. "At least you're not late this time."
I sat the fuck down in the chair in front of Giovanni's desk, hoping this was at least the kind of rant that I could autopilot my way through without having to really think of how to respond. Nod and agree at the appropriate places, take my money, order the shit I needed and get out before the insults got a rise out of me.
"Kid, you are a pain in the fuckin' ass."
I nodded and fought to stop my eyes from losing focus.
"You may have struck a deal with Alberico when he was feeling generous, but when you start fucking up like you have been, the generosity only goes so far."
"What are you talking about?"
Giovanni opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a handgun. "What am I talking about? You fuckin' serious? You think this is a fuckin' game?"
Out of the corners of my eye, I could see Giovanni's guards pushing their suit jackets out of the way to expose their holstered guns for quick access. The tone of the room brought me all the way back to reality, and I sat up a little straighter, eyes narrowing.
"What's going on here?" I asked.
"This is a fuckin' warning, shit for brains. A warning right from the top. You gotta know by now how much I fuckin' hate you, and we both know you've been hiding behind Alberico's protective wing like a little pussy. You make a lot of money for us, and you know that too, so you mouth off like you're fuckin' untouchable."
Giovanni stood up and leaned over his desk. I tried to look in all directions at once, but mostly in his eyes when he started talking again.
"So, normally, I'd threaten to kill you and you'd roll your cocksuckin' eyes, take your money and waltz out of here. Today, I'm just gonna give it to you straight. In light of recent events, Alberico has officially given me permission to shoot your sorry ass in the leg if you give me any shit today. Maybe that doesn't seem so bad to a tough cunt like you, huh? That's only because you've never been shot before. I'll be happy to pop your cherry, bitch."
My brow furrowed at this sudden shift in orders from Alberico. "When are you going to let me know what's got your panties in a bunch?"
"Keep talking, motherfucker. What you say is going to decide whether you get it in the foot, the kneecap or if I miss altogether and shoot your fuckin' balls off. Do you have any idea how much time, effort, lives and money it cost to convince the Cannibals that they should leave you alone?"
"No."
"Too much. And how do you repay us? You missed your fucking quota last month."
Fuck. I ran my hand through my hair while Giovanni stared daggers through me. I'd been spending so much time with Sarina and my mom that things had, admittedly, slipped at my lab.
"I've always met or exceeded my quota before. Overall, I'm still ahead," I said, grasping at straws.
"You think I give a fuck? You're not stockpiling goodwill here, motherfucker. You do your fucking job month-in, month-out, and that's all I care about."
I held up my hands. "OK, OK. I get it. I'll make sure this month makes up for the shortfall last month, and then business as usual from here on in. Alright?"
"Fuckin' right you will. Remember, this is your fuckin' warning. Next time, the chains come out. God damn motherfuckin' Cannibals found out about you this time. Who's next? Cops? DEA? Feds? Who the fuck knows. Who's that cum dumpster bitch you've been hanging around with?"
The familiar hot anger that had been slowly bubbling up was suddenly frozen over by pure hatred. I took a deep breath to carefully control my tone with the man holding the gun.
"You been following me?"
"What would we find out if we did? It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to know you've been getting your finger wet. So who the fuck is she? Where'd she come from and why the fuck is she hangin' around somebody like you?"
"She's none of your business."
"You don't tell me what my business is."
Rising to my feet at glacial speed, I leaned forward on his desk as he and his goons all lifted their guns and pointed them at me. If I could have ripped his head off before any bullets could get to me, I would have.
"She. Is. None. Of. Your. Business."
Sarina
Everybody always said that love wasn't supposed to be easy, but I didn't think they could really be an authority on the topic unless they'd walked a mile in my shoes. Every day, I caught my mind deconstructing my life and trying to rebuild me into the Sarina Bell persona I'd created.