Or at least that we knew what each other’s page was.
I found the front office vacant. Cane’s SUV was out front, so I knew he was there. I waited impatiently for a few minutes and, with my anxiety building and no Lucy in sight, I started back towards Cane’s office door, smiling to myself as I recalled our rendezvous there.
The way he had ordered me to bend over his desk. The sound of his zipper coming down in the stillness of the room. The feeling of the cold air hitting my skin as he raised my dress to my waist, the warmth of his hand touching my skin, caressing me softly. The feeling of him pounding into me, hard as steel, while papers flew wildly to the floor.
It seemed like both yesterday and a lifetime ago.
Every step I took closer to his office had my heart beating faster. I had missed him so much: our talks, his lame jokes, and our physical connection. I felt like a part of me was missing and, when I had realized that, I knew it spoke volumes. By the time I got to the hallway to his office, I felt ready to pass out. I took a few deep breaths as my strides got longer, ready to see him and wrap my arms around him.
I could hear voices as I turned the corner to his office. The door was cracked and I stopped in my tracks at a female’s voice coming from the other side of the door.
“Cane, I am so sorry,” the woman said. Her voice was soft, intimate. She spoke to Cane like she was familiar with him and that had my guard up immediately. I stepped to the side of the door, eavesdropping.
“You’ve said that a number of times. I hear you.”
“I know. I need to stop apologizing. But I just feel so bad about the way we left things.”
“For fuck’s sake.” Cane’s voice was laced with irritation. “Can we not talk about it, please?”
I heard a chair squeak. “You are right. It’s time we focus on the future.”
My mind raced with possibilities.
Who is this woman he clearly has a past with? And what do their futures have in common?
Dear God, is he cheating on me?
The lump in my throat was the size of a baseball and, try as I might, I couldn’t get past it.
“Focusing on the future is exactly what I want to do.” Cane’s voice was soft. It destroyed me that he was using that tone with another woman while discussing his future.
Tears sprung to my eyes and my hand grabbed my throat. I could feel my body heating as fear and a pain so real tore through me.
What the hell is going on?
“Let’s do that. Come by the hotel tonight. I have a little kitchenette. I’ll go to the grocery and find some seafood and make you a dinner that you can’t find out here. Or I could come to your house, if that’s better.”
“Ashley …”
And, just like that, my world stopped spinning.
I swung my hand to my mouth to stop from crying out.
“I know what you like, Cane. I know you better than anyone. I even brought you some coffee milk. Remember that?”
I heard Cane’s laugh and it reverberated through me.
“I’ve spent the last few years wondering what happened to you and feeling like you were the one that got away, that you would always be the piece of my life that was missing. We were so great together, baby. And we still are. I know you know what I mean,” Ashley said.
“The one that got away, huh?” Cane laughed. I could imagine his face, how the lines around his eyes crinkled and the smile across his gorgeous lips. The tears, hot against my cheeks, fell quicker.
“Remember how we sang that song about buffalo in that karaoke bar in Newport? I still can’t believe that really happened,” Ashley giggled.
“Lots of tequila made that happen,” Cane said.
They were silent for a moment and I struggled to keep myself from making any noise for fear of being discovered. I wanted to walk away, knowing that listening to their conversation was wrong, but I couldn’t force myself to leave. It was like watching a train barrel at you, knowing you were going to have your legs cut off at best, but not being able to move. I was a glutton for punishment.
“That tequila made a lot more than that happen,” she giggled.
“Look, Ashley. You seem to be doing really well and I’m glad to see that, but—“
“Jada!” Lucy said brightly, coming around the corner. I jumped at the sound, accidentally bumping the door. “I didn’t know you were coming in this morning. It’s so good to see you.”
As I stood upright, I looked to my side into Cane’s office … and into the eyes of the man I loved.
Our eyes found each other immediately, as they always did. Panic filled Cane’s eyes as he realized I had heard everything.
Bile rose in my throat as I felt wave after wave of sorrow, anger, frustration, jealousy, and loneliness roll across me, drowning me in despair.