He kicked open the door to my bedroom and sat me down at the foot of the bed. Grabbing my head with both hands, he stood as close as possible to me, our noses nearly touching. His eyes bored into mine. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t read him.
Silence filled the room, neither of us able to say anything.
“Jada,” he whispered, bending his head down and finding my lips with his own.
“I am glad you’re here.” My voice cracked with emotion as I looked at him. He looked exhausted.
He motioned for me to climb into bed. I lay in my normal spot and he climbed in behind me, pulling me backwards so that my back was pressed firmly against his front. He wrapped his arms around me and tucked my head beneath his chin.
“You are mine,” he said softly. “Do you know that?”
“Yes,” I whispered back. “I’m yours.”
He held me like that, not saying another word, until I felt his breath even out and his heartbeat slow.
I knew he had fallen asleep.
I lay awake for a long time, enjoying being wrapped in his arms. It seemed like such a long time had gone by since I had been able to breathe him in, feel him, relax with him and I didn’t know when the next time would come.
Things have changed so much.
I pushed the thought out of my mind, closed my eyes, and relaxed back into him.
Before I knew it, I was fast asleep, too.
JADA
The following morning, we lay together in my bed, Cane still holding me tight. Every time I tried to move, he would clamp down tighter, like he was afraid I would leave. Even in his sleep the night before, his arms were around me like a vise grip.
We talked about a few unimportant things, but mostly we just lay together quietly. I got the feeling he just wanted to be and I was okay with that. I had missed the physical connection with him as much as anything. Being with him felt like a part of me had been missing but was now back, and I didn’t want to ruin that. As good as it felt being in his arms, I knew that he would probably have to leave long before I wanted him to and I wanted to soak up as much Cane as I could to tide me over until he came back.
“Cane,” I said, turning my head to look at him. His blue eyes missed a bit of the sparkle and mischief that they normally held and that worried me a little. “Are you okay?”
He kissed my forehead. “Of course I’m okay.”
“You know what I mean,” I said, spinning my ring around my finger, hesitant to ask the next question.
Cane blew out a breath and looked at the ceiling.
“There is something different between us. I just feel like I am on the outskirts of your life.”
He grabbed my shoulder and rolled me over to face him. “You are never on the outskirts of my life.”
My throat tightened right along with my chest. I gazed into his eyes, the blues swirling fast and hard. “I just feel like you never want to see me, that it burdens you to have to make time for me.”
Tears began to prick at my eyes. I had just thrown my worst thoughts out there and now I awaited his response.
It was quick and hard.
He grabbed my waist and laid me on top of him, crushing me against his body. “Jada, no.”
My tears fell softly onto the heated skin of his torso before running off the side.
“I know things have gone to shit. I have had a lot going on, baby. I’m hoping it will all be worked through soon. I miss … this. I miss you. I miss holding you, talking to you, teasing you. Baking with you.” He wiggled his eyebrows, making me smile. “When I say I want to be with you, it’s because I do. More than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
I rose to look at his gorgeous face. He was chewing his bottom lip furiously, his eyes searching mine.
“Okay,” I finally said. “But I want a rain check. Every hour I have to sacrifice will be paid back with interest. Capiche?”
Cane’s chest bounced as a chuckle escaped his throat, his eyes now alight with humor. “Fuck, I love you.”
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, his eyes went wide.
My heartbeat raced, goose bumps breaking out across my skin. My throat swelled, my breath hitching in my throat.
Breathe. That was probably a mistake.
“Jada,” he said, his voice rough. “I—”
“It’s fine.” I plastered on a smile to cover my disappointment. “It’s fine, Cane. I know how you meant it.”
His eyes began to blaze as his breath picked up. I turned to roll off of him but he grabbed my waist with both hands, holding me in place. “Fuck this,” he whispered, his eyes wild.
Forcing a swallow, he continued, “This isn’t how I thought this would happen. Hell, I wasn’t sure if I would ever feel this way at all. But I do, so it’s stupid not to just say it, right?”