The door opened and shut. I held my breath, straining to hear the murmured voices downstairs.
Everything went quiet, except the pounding of my heart, until I heard footsteps on the staircase. With each step, my heart picked up its pace. As the footsteps reached the top of the flight, a knock sounded on my door.
I froze.
There were two more loud knocks.
“Max said you were up here, Jada. Can I come in?” Cane asked softly.
Goose bumps broke out across my skin at the sound of the voice I had been playing on repeat through my mind for days. I really wanted to see him but I really needed not to. I was screwed either way.
In typical Cane fashion, he didn’t give me an option.
He opened the door slowly and poked his head around the corner. “Hey,” he said, smiling sweetly at me, causing me to melt a little on the spot.
“Hey,” I said, giving him a small grin.
“Can I come in?”
“Does it matter what I say?”
“Good point. I am coming in regardless.” He walked confidently into my room, closing the door behind him. Dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt, he looked even better than I remembered.
“You okay?” he asked, watching me intently.
I realized I was still holding my Kindle against me and I sat it down. “Yeah, I’m good. How are you?”
“Been better, been worse,” he shrugged.
“I know the feeling.”
I looked out the window as the silence between us hung thick in the air. The rain was coming in one way and then switching to the other.
“You don’t mind that I came inside, do you? Because if you do, I can go.” His hands were in his pockets, water droplets evident on his t-shirt. He looked so relaxed. So gorgeous.
I relaxed back against the pillows, trying to control my breathing. “No, I don’t mind.”
Cane made his way over to my bed and sat on the edge. “I was hoping you’d be a little happier to see me, but I sense I still haven’t won you over. Yet.”
I felt myself settle in to the natural rhythm I always found with Cane.
“Actually, I have softened a little where you are concerned. A little!” I laughed when his eyes lit up. “I think you are a really nice guy, although possibly a little self-centered.”
“Me? Self-centered? I was the one who brought you dinner out of the kindness of my heart. You’re the one that wouldn’t reciprocate.”
“Oh, is that how it is?”
“Yeah, I’m afraid so. But I’m all about giving second chances.”
“I’m sure you are.” My world felt like it had color for the first time all week.
“No, I heard what you said the other night and I understand. I would never want you to do something you didn’t truly want to, even if I think you absolutely should.”
I bent forward and smacked him on the shoulder. “You’re terrible!”
“Oh, so you do want to get physical?”
“No!” I laughed.
“That’s too bad. I thought we were making progress.”
I took a deep breath. I was tired—tired of fighting Cane, tired of arguing with my feelings, tired of feeling torn. I knew, down deep and under my raging hormones, we couldn’t be together. But I had to get that across to him. We could be friends, I would learn to navigate that, but he had to stop trying to … do whatever it was he was trying to do.
Maybe if I just admit that I am attracted to him, it will make him feel like I’m not some challenge. Maybe that will be enough for him to move on, which would make it easier for me to do the same. I can’t keep sitting here ‘mowing the lawn’. Max is right. I have to go on with my life and I can’t do that the way I need to with Cane Alexander.
I took a deep breath. “You want the truth?”
He stilled and nodded slowly, looking unsure of where I was going.
“I do feel a pull between us. How could I not? I’ve never felt anything like it before.” I looked into his eyes, emboldened by the desire burning in them. “That kiss ...”
Having him so close with that look in his eye while I admitted how I really felt was a recipe for disaster.
My mouth just started talking, forgoing any filter. “I can’t stop thinking about it, Cane. I—I think about you all the time.”
“What do you think about?”
The sound of his voice, low and controlled, made my own voice quiver. “I—”
“Tell me, Jada,” he demanded, his eyes blazing. “What do you think about? Do you think about me touching you?”
I nodded as I tried really hard not to pant, my body temperature spiking.
“Where do I touch you?” He leaned towards me, taking over my personal space. He seemed taller, darker somehow. His voice was thick with desire.