He hadn't realized my mom was falling for Alistair Saxon until it was too late. The Circle took the prohibition against family members being romantically involved with the help seriously, as I knew, and he had never considered that my mom would get involved with a member of the Circle, either. But Alistair was different. Even Fitz saw it. He wasn't like his older brother and his father. He was reasonable, and saw the Circle for what it was. He wanted more for them, and for the world. He was good. But then his brother and father were killed, and everything changed. He came into incredible responsibility overnight, and in such a way that he felt a threat to his family he'd never believed in before. They blamed the Order for the deaths, when in reality, it wasn't true. But that incident changed the Circle, and it changed Alistair.
My mom would have ended the relationship at that point, Fitz said, but it was too late. She was pregnant with me. She confided in some Order members, and it was a mistake. Every one of them wanted her to end the pregnancy. She refused. But then she found out I was a girl.
"And because of what we knew about girls of the Circle, and what you'd mean if you did have the gene, it changed things. Still, your mother was determined to keep you," Fitz said. "I helped her come up with a plan. She told everyone-both the Order and your father-that she'd lost the baby. And then she disappeared."
From up on the riverbank, a siren got closer, and I tensed, wondering what had happened now. It passed.
"Once you were born," Fitz continued, "and you did have the violet eyes your mother and I were hoping you wouldn't, we knew it was unlikely I'd be able to be a real part of your lives."
I'd been mad at my mom for a long time for running from this, and it was all to keep me alive. And here I was, in the same position, considering doing the same thing. Doing the bare minimum to keep my own blood from being the end of the world, and then washing my hands of everything to do with the Circle. Disappearing, just like she did.
I rested my elbows on the white tablecloth and my head in my hands.
"And that was when I began my research," Fitz said.
I glanced up. Jack, Stellan, and Elodie were by themselves on the lower deck now, talking in a tight knot. At this point, this was no longer just my story. And even if it had been, I wanted them here.
"Just a second," I said, and called them upstairs. Stellan sat next to me again, and Jack and Elodie seated themselves on the other two sides of the table. I caught them up on the quick version of my mom's story, and then Fitz went on.
My mom had been young, and naive, and optimistic, he said. She thought she'd be able to keep me from this world forever. Fitz, knowing that might not be true and that my life and freedom would be compromised, was determined to help. "So I began researching what might actually happen if Avery were discovered. All I knew at that point was what the Circle knew. The mandate would produce a weapon, supposedly against the Order. The girl with the violet eyes was the key, which was why we couldn't let such a girl exist."
"Wait," Jack said. "What do you mean you couldn't let a girl exist?"
Fitz studied his hands. They were cut up, his fingernails filthy. "It was one of the Order's most important tasks inside Circle households. We'd keep watch on the families."
"You mean spy on them," Jack cut in.
Fitz inclined his head. "And advise in ways that led to the most favorable outcomes. Our people are high up in many households. Some of them are Keepers."
Shock flitted across Jack's face. Elodie shook her head at him.
"We couldn't let any of the twelve families have a girl with violet eyes," Fitz continued, "so we didn't. The methods have changed over the years. Just this past century we were able to isolate the genetic marker and make sure no baby girls with violet eyes would be born at all if we kept up with our duties."
"Genetic engineering? Like what Olympias did to Alexander," Stellan said.
"Like how she created the healing properties of your body, yes," Fitz said. "Impossible, but true."
Elodie cut in. "Going all the way back to Olympias, the Order has been advanced scientifically. We've lost some of what she knew-she was remarkable. But yes, the lack of that modification on Avery's mother is what allowed Avery to exist."
"So you're saying Alistair was the only person in the history of the Circle to sleep around with someone he wasn't supposed to?" Stellan asked.
I kicked him under the table. He just shrugged.