I went up the stairs from the lower deck to the open upper deck and found a bench along the railing. We went under a bridge, and the Eiffel Tower appeared, reaching high into the cloudy sky. I took deep breaths of the summer afternoon air, and I didn't turn around when I heard footsteps behind me.
"So it appears the Order would like to either get rid of us or use our blood to murder people. That sounds oddly familiar . . ." Stellan settled beside me.
I propped my feet on the railing and watched the wake come off the boat. "So maybe we will have to leave all this behind. If we haven't been able to do anything and this is the only alternative the Order can think of . . ."
I shuddered, but before I could even tense up too much, I felt Stellan's fingers pull through the tips of my hair.
"We could all go," I said. "Elodie and Jack, too."
Stellan paused, working through a tangle. "The thing is . . . if we're leaving the Circle to keep them from using our blood, we couldn't be in the same place, could we? You and I couldn't, at least. It would defeat the purpose."
"Oh." I wasn't sure why I hadn't realized that. I wasn't sure why it made me this much more tense. "Right."
Our boat rocked in the wake of a passing, nearly empty tourist boat. I glanced downstairs, where the Order were still talking. Earlier, I'd been excited for this meeting. Now I didn't want to go back down there.
Another set of footsteps came up the stairs, and Jack poked his head onto the upper deck. "Mind some company?"
Stellan dropped his hand from my hair. "Come on up. We're discussing mass genocide."
Jack cringed, but he came up behind our bench. "If the Order isn't going to be much use, we'll just have to figure it out ourselves, won't we?" He squeezed my shoulder and then, after a short hesitation, clapped a hand on Stellan's, too. "It'll be all right."
Stellan and I glanced at each other, and I reached up to squeeze Jack's fingers back. "So what do we do?"
"First order of business will be to keep the cure away from them, same as before. Knowing what the cure is changes the method, but the objective is the same," Jack said. I scooted over and he sat on the other side of me. "I was thinking about it a lot on the plane, and I think the second thing for us to do will be to work on the Circle. Make them believe us. If the Circle turns on the Saxons, maybe they'll stop them, or at least help us."
"Not that I disagree," Stellan said, "but Lucien has been trying to tell them the truth and he's getting nowhere. It's not that easy."
I watched the boats moored to docks along the Seine.
"That's why we need something more than our word against theirs," Jack said. "I don't know what that is yet, but I think that's what we work toward."
Fitz came onto the upper deck. His eyes looked tired, and his sweater looked two sizes too big. "Here you three are." He turned to Jack, then to Stellan. "May I speak with Avery for a few minutes?"
Jack nodded and stood. Stellan nudged my knee. "Okay?" he mouthed. I nodded, wishing I could ask them both to stay. I moved to one of the smaller tables on the deck, and Fitz joined me. The boat was turning, heading back toward the Eiffel Tower in the other direction.
"I'm sorry that upset you. I understand how you feel," Fitz said. "No one wants to see this end in more death and destruction-not even me, in spite of everything."
I nodded, though I wasn't really sure that was true for all the Order members. "Everything's just a little . . ."
"Overwhelming?" Fitz sat across from me. "I'm so sorry we weren't able to tell you earlier about who I was to you. It's been one of my biggest regrets that I wasn't able to be part of my granddaughter's life."
"Why weren't you?" I said quietly. And then I amended it, to be fair. "You were. You were one of the only people who was ever part of my life for more than a few months. But why couldn't you . . ."
"Your mother and I tried. That's why I lived near you for as long as I did. It was an experiment. But with my own ties here-it was too dangerous."
I realized I was nervous. I'd wondered for so long how my life got to be the way it was, and now that I was about to find out, I wasn't sure I was ready. I nodded anyway. "Go on."
He told me the story.
Like the Circle, the Order started their operatives young, he said, and membership often ran in families. My mom had been assigned to the Saxon household when she was fifteen years old. "I blame myself for what happened then," Fitz said. "But here you are, so I can't regret it."