The Ends of the World (The Conspiracy of Us #3)(53)

When the Dauphins learned that Luc had let fugitives into their country, they might not be happy, but Luc was good at doing things without his parents knowing, and we hoped to be hiding somewhere in Paris by the time they found out. Ideally we'd stay there long enough to regroup and learn more about the cure from our scientists.

Our scientists who, Elodie had reluctantly admitted, were Order. There had been a moment of renewed tension when we realized the Order had had our secrets all along, but Jack of all people had urged us to keep an open mind, and even to agree to meet with them and see what they could do for us.

I had so many questions, and most of them started with why. Why did Fitz go to so much trouble for the kid of a fellow Order member? Why weave the threads of my life together with Jack's, and Stellan's, and even Elodie's?

If they cared enough to help hide me for years, why didn't the Order save my mom?

The thought made my chest feel tight again.

Jack was on the phone with Rocco, going over the plan we'd made last night. Our first instinct had been to go to the Saxons' and break Fitz out ourselves, but Elodie had talked us out of it. So we'd been in touch with Rocco. As we'd suspected, the entire focus of the Saxon household right now was on Cole's death. We hoped this meant Fitz would not be high on their list of priorities. Rocco would be breaking Fitz out and smuggling him to Paris. It seemed too simple, but in this case, simple was probably best.

I glanced up when Stellan emerged from his room. His eyes found me immediately, and his step stuttered. It made my pulse stumble, too. Not because I was nervous about seeing him, but because I really didn't want it to be awkward.

He glanced at Jack, then strolled across the room to survey the food on the table behind me. "Morning," he said evenly, one eye on Elodie, who was sitting on the couch nearby, texting. "Did you have a good night?"



       
         
       
        

I watched him. "Fine. You?"

"Not bad." He glanced up from the bread he'd just put on his plate, and a smile pulled at his lips. He reached out a thumb to graze the spot on my collarbone that I must not have covered as well as I thought. "Oops," he whispered, but there was no remorse behind it at all.

I took a quick look to make sure Jack's back was still turned. "If you did it on purpose, that's obnoxious," I whispered. He held up his hands to proclaim his innocence.

The tension left my shoulders. We were going to be okay. Which was good, because it was nothing. I was attracted to Stellan, and I had been for a long time-I could no longer deny that. The feeling was obviously mutual. And in times of extreme stress, it seemed to boil over. Which was fine. It wouldn't be a big deal.

He sat down next to me and bit into a slice of cucumber. "Can I use your phone?" He couldn't find his. Mariam thought she remembered seeing it in the van, but apparently it had been lost between some cushions, or maybe it had fallen out when we'd stopped at the doctor's office last night. I handed him my phone and walked away to give him privacy while he talked to Anya. I couldn't help but watch him, though. Talking to her was the only time I ever saw him smile in a way I knew for sure wasn't fake.

• • •

A couple of hours later, we got out of the van on the tarmac of a private airport near Alexandria. We all hugged Mariam good-bye and sent her off to her family with enough money for them to live on for a year.

As we climbed the steps into the plane, ready to head back to the place closest to home for all of us, I asked Stellan, "So if you left, where would you go? Does Anya want to live at the beach or in the mountains? Or maybe a big city?"

I said it jokingly, but he didn't smile. He drummed his fingers on the railing. "It seems like to stay away from them, you always have to keep moving."

He was right. Even if we were no longer wanted criminals, the Circle doesn't let you leave. It wouldn't be easy. And that meant learning not to call any one place home. "Yeah. That's what my mom thought, too."

I fell into a seat. Stellan sat across the aisle.

"What about you? Would you think about leaving again?" he said. It sounded casual, but I could tell he'd been thinking about it as much as I had.

I looked out the window at Jack and Elodie, who were still on the tarmac talking to the pilot. "I don't know. If the scientists can't do anything with the virus and the cure, I guess it might come down to killing myself or hiding for the rest of my life. Hiding doesn't sound so bad when you think of it that way." 

I saw Stellan wince a little at that. "Would you would want to leave, though?"