He'd missed her a lot over the years, but he knew the separation was for her sake. He'd already hurt her more than he'd hurt any other person, and he didn't want to reopen the old wounds.
Dying had changed all that. The walls had crumbled as soon as he'd realized the wound in his side was going to slowly kill him. He'd thought about her more and more-and then he'd gotten Niamh to mail her the letter and the journal documenting their coven's destruction. He didn't know what he'd expected to happen. He just knew that he wanted her holding his hand when he died. Wanted her beautiful face to be the last thing he saw before he closed his eyes for the final time. In hindsight, it was ridiculous. They hadn't been close in years, she had no impetus to come find him . . . for all he knew, she would read the letter and ignore it.
No, that was a lie. He knew Arrabelle, knew the force of her personality, and knew she would find him-or his dead body-if it was the last thing she did. He knew how she operated, and he'd known she'd be a part of his limited future come hell or high water. He hadn't been wrong. She'd done exactly as he'd (unconsciously) expected and now here she was . . . a woman who deserved much better than his sorry ass could provide.
He was going to have to be honest with her sooner rather than later. No lies, no subterfuge, no half-truths. Arrabelle deserved the truth from him.
Now as they stood next to each other listening to Lyse, he sensed Arrabelle's eyes on him, as if he could feel her love radiating out at him like a heater. He looked over at her, and she caught his eye, smiling so hard that the skin around the corners of her eyes crinkled in happiness. It only made him feel worse.
"Are we ready?" Lyse asked-and Evan turned his attention away from Arrabelle and back to their de facto leader.
His own coven master, Yesinia, was dead. Burned at the stake in front of the Red Chapel-the very place he was letting Lyse and the others lead him back to against his will. As difficult as it had been, he'd let his loyalty to Yesinia be put on hold in favor of the Echo Park coven's master. Even though Lyse was inexperienced, he'd taken her as his new coven master because he could sense the power and strength at her core. She would be a formidable ally, so long as she stopped doubting herself and just let her instincts guide her way.
"Niamh, you said you know the Red Chapel," Lyse continued-and Niamh nodded, her face pale. Evan could see that she was clenching her jaw so hard the muscles were twitching. "If you keep your mind's eye on it, we won't get lost out there when I call up the orb."
Evan thought Lyse had gotten pretty good at navigating herself in and out of the dreamlands, but now she seemed uncertain again. And the look she shot Dev, the Echo Park coven's diviner, upped the suspicion Evan was feeling. She'd gone off to get Dev-without telling any of the others and at a super random time when everyone was so concerned about Daniela-and now she was acting funny. Only Dev knew what had happened to make Lyse so squirrely . . . and she was keeping her mouth shut about it.
They stood in a circle in Daniela's hospital room, a coven of witches that included two diviners (Dev and Niamh), two herbalists (Evan and Arrabelle), one empath, and Lyse, who, by some trick of genetics, possessed the power of all five of the disciplines of magic. They were a ragtag bunch-and as Evan looked at each weary face, he could see how bone tired they all were.
"Do you think it will work, Lyse?" Daniela asked, arms folded over her chest protectively. "Do you think that you can get all of us to the Red Chapel?"
It was amazing to see her standing there, alive and rosy cheeked. Because by all rights, she should be dead.
"I think so," Lyse said.
"I think Daniela should stand in the middle of the circle," Arrabelle said. She turned to Daniela. "You can't touch any of us-gloves or no gloves, it isn't safe. Niamh brought you back from the brink once and I'm not risking you again."
Daniela nodded.
"I'm not a delicate baby, Arrabelle. But I think you're right in this situation."
Lyse turned to Niamh and Evan. Her blue eyes looked troubled. "I know the Red Chapel is not where either of you would choose to go, but it's where Dev's girls are and we have to go get them."
"I understand," Evan said. He patted Niamh's arm. "You're okay with it?"
"No," Niamh said, "not really, but I know we have to."
"The dreamland version will be different," Arrabelle said, trying to be helpful.
"I appreciate you worrying about me," Niamh said. "But you don't have to. I can handle it."