The End of Magic (The Witches of Echo Park #3)(57)

"All we can do is give it a shot," she replied, setting the Dream Journal down on the table between them.

It was a faded thing, tattered and worn out like it had spent too long in the sun. Someone had drawn an ouroboros on the cover in pen and ink: smooth strokes from a sure hand. Dev had never given the symbol much thought, but as she stared down at it, she could feel the magic it represented almost leaping off the paper.

"What is it?" Freddy asked.

"The ouroboros?" Dev answered, making sure the image of a snake eating its own tail was what Freddy was referring to.

He nodded.

"It's creepy."

"You feel that?" Dev asked, surprised. The symbol made her skin crawl, but she hadn't expected Freddy to pick up on it, too.

"It's repellent," he said, biting his lip. "Like I'm not supposed to look at it."

Dev knew what he meant.

"It represents the Eternal . . . that which has no beginning, no middle, and no end. Something we humans can't and shouldn't try too hard to understand."

"I'm fine with that," Freddy said, giving her a tight smile. "It doesn't want me to look at it and I'd rather not look at it, either."

Since they'd lost the girls, Freddy's marvelous sense of humor had been tamped down by grief, but, finally, it was starting to rear its head again. She gave him a wink, pleased to see it reemerging.

"Don't think you can charm me that easily," he continued, enjoying the flirtation between them. "You'll have to work harder than a wink to get me."



       
         
       
        

Dev laid her hands down on the tabletop. She needed to take a moment here, tell Freddy how important he was to her. She'd let that slide in her exhaustion and terror. She'd put her feelings above his when she should have given them parity with her own. Marji and Ginny were half his, and he'd loved her family as much as she had. He was dealing with the same complex emotions, only she hadn't been there to protect him the way he'd protected her.

"I'm sorry," she said, her throat tight as she tried to hold back her emotions. "I went away and I wasn't there for you."

He looked up at the ceiling, then down at his nail-bitten hands, anything not to meet her gaze.

"I miss you."

He nodded, taking it in. Then he looked up at her, his eyes wet with tears.

"Don't apologize to me like that, Dev," he said. "It was my honor to look after you when you needed me. You are my other half, the better part of me-you know that-and I never don't feel connected to you. Even through all of this, through losing the girls and your mother and sisters . . . the house . . . everything . . . I still feel . . . felt connected to you. So just . . . don't apologize for needing a moment to collect yourself. It's my job to look out for you. And, honestly, I can't bear you thinking you needed to apologize. It's a given, Dev. I love you. That doesn't change."

"But you needed me, too," she said, wiping at the tears that streamed down her face.

"And I have you. I'm getting what I need, Dev."

He magically produced a handkerchief from his pocket, and she saw his initials embroidered on the white fabric in light blue stitches. It had been his gift from her on their fifth anniversary. She took the proffered handkerchief and blew her nose.

"You don't hate me?" she asked

"For snotting up my handkerchief?" he said, grinning. "Hell, no."

Sobs and laughter burbled out of her, mixing together until Dev didn't know if she was crying or laughing. Probably both, she thought.

"We're so stupid," she said, climbing out of her chair to hug the man she loved. "If we just lean on each other, we can get through anything."

She kissed the side of his face, pokey bits of dark stubble scratching at her cheek.

"We can do that," Freddy agreed. "We can definitely do that."

He kissed her back, this time on the lips, and for the first time in days, Dev began to feel safe again. As they broke apart, Freddy stared up into Dev's eyes. 

"I want to marry you," he said.

She was taken aback, shocked even. The idea seemed to come out of nowhere.

"What?"

"When this is all over, I want you to be my wife. Officially."

Dev swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry.

"I didn't mean-" She started to protest, but he shushed her with another kiss.

"Just say yes," he murmured against her mouth once they'd parted again.

She opened her eyes, his love encircling her like a cocoon.

"Yes," she whispered.

"Now go do this magic spell, or whatever it is," he said, grinning like a little boy who'd just gotten the birthday present he wanted.