The Education of Sebastian & the Education of Caroline(274)
“Of course not. Just take care of yourself and rest.”
He smiled. “Okay, but wake me up before they go?”
“You really want some more?” I said, pretending to be shocked.
“They’re okay,” he said, smiling. “They really care about you, Caro. That’s all that matters.”
He made his apologies and left us alone outside. I knew their evaluation of him would be offered up any second.
Nicole weighed in first.
“Well, he’s even hotter in the flesh, Lee; hot-tempered, too.”
“Both are equally true,” I agreed.
“You guys look good together,” said Jenna, thoughtfully. “I must admit I had my doubts, but it’s obvious he adores you. Hell, that’s as good a start as any.”
Alice nodded. “He needs to find a new direction, Lee. He’s not the kind of man who can just sit around.”
“I know, but it’s still new. I’m not going to rush him. I’m just enjoying having him home and seeing him getting stronger.”
“So when do you think you’ll be getting married?” said Alice
“No, don’t encourage her!” whined Nicole. “This is baaaad. Where are we going to go to ogle hot surfer guys?”
“You can still come here,” I said, laughing.
“What? And ogle your husband? That’s just plain weird!”
“That’s not what I meant at all, and you know it, Nicole! Look, you guys are my friends—you’ll always be welcome here.”
Nicole rubbed her hands together. “Well, I’m going to enjoy making you shop, Lee—get you out of your damn jeans for a change, although I see you’ve made an effort today.”
I smiled at her. “Nope, no shopping.”
“What?”
“I’m not turning into one of those Bridezillas: it’ll just be you three and Sebastian’s friends from San Diego. My friend Marc said he’d try and fly in, depending on the date. We’re going to see if we can get October 2nd—it’ll be Sebastian’s 28th birthday.”
“Oh, God! Twenty-eight,” sighed Alice. “That sounds so young! Oh well, at least he won’t be able to forget your anniversary.”
The girls were just getting ready to leave, and I was wondering whether or not to let Sebastian carry on sleeping, when he screamed loudly again and again, a chilling, heart-rending sound.
Alice jumped and Nicole swore, but I was already on my feet and running.
Sebastian was thrashing around, his face contorted, his body covered in sweat. I shook him awake urgently.
“It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here.”
He clung to me, his breath shuddering in his chest.
“It’s all right, Sebastian, it’s going to be all right, tesoro.”
“Fuck, Caro,” he gasped. “I keep seeing…”
“I know, baby, I know.”
He covered his eyes with trembling hands. “I can’t go out there, Caro. I can’t see them like this.”
“You don’t have to. Stay here, I’ll see them off. Two minutes, tesoro.”
In the yard, my friends were sitting staring at the backdoor as I came out.
“Jesus, Lee! What the hell was that?” Nicole asked for them all.
“He was blown up, Nic—three people died in front of him, men he worked with. He gets nightmares.”
“Are you sure you know what you’re taking on?” said Jenna, quietly.
I shrugged. “I love him.”
I could see the concern in their eyes and Alice offered to stay, but I needed to be alone with Sebastian. I promised I’d be in touch.
When I went back to our room, the bed was empty and I could hear the shower running. Sebastian was leaning against the tiles, his hands outstretched, and the water pouring down over his head.
I pulled off my clothes, and walked into the shower behind him. He turned, and wrapped his arms around me, and we stood together, letting his fear wash away.
The next day Sebastian was in a foul mood. He was embarrassed that my friends had seen, or rather heard him, at his most vulnerable, and he blamed me. When I’d had enough of his sulking, I went for a long walk on the beach, and took my time sipping an espresso at a café on the boardwalk.
After a couple of hours to myself, I felt ready to go home and face whatever emotional grenades he’d be tossing at me today.
I think he must have been watching out of the window, because when I walked in, he was waiting by the door.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he said, pulling me in for a hug and kissing my hair. “I know I’m being a dumb-ass.”
“That’s one of the words I had in mind.”
He smiled. “Yeah, I bet. Hey, I’ve got something to show you.”