I grabbed hold of him almost violently, pushing my fingers hard against his length; I heard his breath hiss through his teeth.
I pulled his erection once again, my fingers wrapped firmly around his sweet skin. He exploded suddenly, his body shuddering. I felt the dampness on my thigh and looked down to see the pale, creamy fluid.
A familiar feeling of disappointment trickled through me. But the look on his face halted my thoughts.
Crushed by the weight of further humiliation, he shattered, falling to the floor, weeping brokenly.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
He heaved out the words again and again, his face hidden in his hands.
“No, don’t. It doesn’t matter. It’s okay,” I whispered, stroking the soft, golden skin of his back.
How many times had I said those words before without meaning them? Until now.
I sank to the floor and held him in my arms, rocking him to and fro, crooning wordlessly as his sobs wracked him.
Eventually he stilled but refused to look at me.
“Sebastian, it’s okay.”
There was no response.
“Sebastian. Look at me.”
“I’m sorry,” he muttered again, his face turned away.
I wasn’t sure what to do, how to show him that it didn’t matter; or, at least, that I didn’t think any less of him because of what had happened, or rather, not happened.
I pulled one hand away from his tear-stained face.
“Come on.”
He finally looked at me, utterly bewildered.
Gently, I tugged his hand.
“Come.”
CHAPTER 4
Sebastian looked confused as I led him back into the bedroom.
I pulled the sheets away and tried to erase the thought that this was David’s side of the bed.
“Lie down.”
He lay back, his beautiful eyes watching my every move. I walked around the bed to lie on my side next to him, pulling the sheet up and around us, cocooning us, protecting him.
I reached out to stroke his cheek, and his lips parted. I traced the outline of his mouth with one finger and then leaned over to kiss him, tasting salty tears.
I moved down to his throat, gentle butterfly kisses, my hair sweeping across his chest. Hesitantly, he lifted one hand, skimming along my arm to my shoulder and then, more boldly, down to my breast.
His thumb circled my nipple and I gasped with pleasure. He immediately lifted his hand away.
“No, don’t stop.”
I continued kissing him across his chest and down to his stomach. His hand moved to my ass, stroking it carefully.
His erection was stirring again so I kissed him there, feeling his body tremble beneath my feather-light touch.
I lay back down beside him and moved his hand to my thighs.
“You can touch me.”
I guided his hand closer. Folding my fingers over his, I massaged myself with his hand, tilting my hips upwards, sucking in a deep breath when he found my most sensitive place.
“Yes, that’s right. Like that.”
It was pleasurable for a few moments, but I wanted more. I took his hand, folding the shorter fingers toward his palm, and slid his index finger inside me.
“Slowly. Yes, in and out.”
He followed my instructions carefully, the gentle assault making me moan and writhe. I angled my hips slightly, and moved his thumb so it made sweet circles around my clitoris. I let out a long sigh of pleasure. His warm lips kissed my throat as his hand continued its steady motion.
I didn’t want to have thoughts of David in my overwhelmed brain, but I couldn’t help comparing … this love-making with the selfish sexual demands usually made of me.
I reached down and stroked him, now so firm and erect. I longed to feel him inside me, but I was afraid of rushing him again.
I trapped his hand between my thighs and sat up. He looked surprised and suddenly unsure of himself. I leaned over and kissed him, more forcefully this time, rocking onto him. With his free hand, he wound his fingers through my hair and kissed me back, letting himself go further and take more.
Then he ran his hand over my breasts, and gently pulled on one nipple. The sensation was overwhelming and shocking, an orgasm taking me by surprise. His fingers must have felt the ripples of my pleasure, and he could see the way my body arched and stiffened. So unexpected, so confusing. For me, orgasms were a solitary pursuit; this was new.
“Are you okay?” he asked hesitantly.
It took me a moment to find my voice. “Yes. Very okay. Very, very okay.”
And for the first time that evening, he smiled.
I’d guessed, and I think I’d guessed right, that this was all new to Sebastian, but he made me feel things I’d never experienced before—love and passion. I just hadn’t realized … I didn’t know it could be like this.