“I don’t think I have ever seen you this surprised, Anthony.”
“Lord. I knew the woman was fearless, but I never thought she would appear on your doorstep with a gun, Sebastian! Good God, man!” Anthony thrust his hands through the blond hair that fell in wild disarray, so different from the severe cut he normally wore.
“I was a bit taken aback myself,” he admitted with a reluctant grin.
Green eyes so different from his own assessed him. “And then you wed her without knowing if I had been with her as she’d claimed?”
Sebastian heard the undisguised shock in his brother’s question. “Whatever you are Anthony, is not the libertine she claimed. I knew something must have happened or she would not have had Mother’s locket in her possession. But I did not believe you capable of betraying Phillipa so completely—not when you had been making such an ass of yourself.” Sebastian sipped his whiskey.
Anthony winced. “Bloody hell.”
Sebastian said nothing, just downed the rest of his whiskey.
His brother jetted out a breath. “I went to Lincolnshire to gain some perspective, and Jocelyn came out of nowhere. I thought I desired her, and kissed her a few times, but nothing beyond that, Sebastian. Her beauty was so different from Phillipa’s, and her character, as well. I became enchanted. And of course there was her pedigree— I believed I was making the right decision.”
“Why did you change your mind?” Sebastian asked, and waited patiently while Anthony poured another whiskey.
“She scared me.”
Sebastian gave a bark of laughter.
“It’s no laughing matter, Sebastian.” Anthony grimaced in chagrin. “She rode her horse astride, her skills with her bow surpassed any I had ever seen. She hunted, Sebastian. And I don’t mean for fox. After a few weeks, I realized how different she was from the women of the ton. She made no effort to be demure, and her energy left me dizzy. It had enticed me to think she would make a bloody awesome bed partner—” He broke off at the glare Sebastian sent him, and shrugged. “I’m just telling you my thoughts at the time. But it was mostly the lure of Phillipa that drew me away.”
“Just take care,” Sebastian said evenly. “Did you propose?”
“No,” Anthony said softly. “But I meant for my actions to be interpreted as such. Phillipa had rejected my offer of marriage and I was reeling. Jocelyn and I became friends and I knew she needed to make her estate solvent. I left the locket with her and returned to London to ensure Phillipa was not with child before I made any concrete decisions in relation to her. You know all that happened after.”
“I see,” Sebastian said.
Anthony jerked his chin at the study door. “What was that all about? Her comment about you being absent from her bed?”
Sebastian related the gist of their fight in a cold, clipped voice.
Anthony lifted a bemused brow. “She has heard the rumors about Marissa? Have you explained?”
“What is there to explain?” Sebastian ground out. “I have no desire to dredge up my past mistakes.”
“Jocelyn is your duchess, Sebastian. Do you think the old rumors won’t surface upon her first foray to London? Don’t be blind, man. Many will flock to her side wanting to be associated with you, and there will always be those who thrive on gossip and innuendo, if not outright lies. And really, it is hardly fair to expect her to obey you about Mother without questioning your reasons.”
Sebastian stared at him intently. “Are you saying Phillipa would gainsay your wishes?”
Anthony gazed out at the falling snow. “No, but, I assure you, their temperaments are very different. Besides, I tell my wife the reasons behind my decisions.”
Sebastian threw back the rest of his whiskey. “I do not speak of our mother.”
“Will you ever forgive her? She longs for you, Sebastian, she—”
“Enough!” Sebastian gritted his teeth and slowly unclenched his hands from his glass, fearing it will crack. “I said I will not discuss our mother. Not even with you, Anthony. I do not give a damn what she longs for,” he snarled, and prowled the study with restless energy. “And when my duchess enters society, I have no fear that she will handle herself brilliantly.”
“She will. Even in the short time we have been acquainted, I know her to be fearless and poised.”
Sebastian grunted in agreement.
“Have you read the remainder of Mother’s journals?”
“You know I have not,” he ground out. “I will not discuss her further, Anthony.”
“I read them in one sitting, Sebastian, and you refuse to hear about its contents from me. I believe if you were to read all twelve volumes you would not feel such disdain for her.”