The Duke’s Shotgun Wedding(23)

She had seen the flash of rage just before he closed himself off when she mentioned his mother the first time, though there were times when she wondered if she had only imagined it. She despaired even more as she recalled his response to her blunder about a mistress.

She wrung her hands, frantic to find a way to break the silence. A thought stormed through her.

What if she revealed her feelings to him?

Would he then be more open? What if he was so withdrawn only because he thought she believed the rumors?

She swallowed and made up her mind. She was not afraid to confess her love. And what could it hurt? She hurried to his study, knocked, and entered before he bid her go away.

He glanced up at her intrusion, and his raw beauty warmed her as always. Garbed in gray trousers with a snow white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbow, he appeared relaxed and at home. Unfortunately, he seemed so cold and frighteningly unapproachable that he scared her.

“How my I assist you, Jocelyn?”

His polite inquiry was so bland she almost changed her mind. The vulnerability felt terrible. But she took a breath and stated the truth.

“I am in love with you.”

She met his gaze, and leaned against the closed door. Her hands were clasped so tightly around the handle that she knew she’d have welts on her palm.

When he did not respond, only stared at her with his icy blues, she repeated, “I am in love with you, Sebastian. I love you. Your warmth, your generosity with your tenants, your intensity…your passion. Your—”

“Enough, madam!” he bit out.

She could feel his fury pouring over her in waves. What had she said to make his eyes fill with such anger?

“I neither want nor require your love, Jocelyn. Do not speak such things.” His admonishment whipped over her, stinging and flaying.

“You are angry because I love you?” She did not think it possible for his expression to become more closed off, but it did.

“Did you not hear when I just ordered you not to speak to me of such things?” His voice had grown so forbidding she hesitated, her natural boldness squelched under the utter disdain that flowed from him.

“I love you, Sebastian. You not wanting to hear it won’t stop it from being true. I am not asking you to return the sentiment. I will not say it again if that is your desire, but know that every time I look at you, touch you, kiss you, and when you are deep inside me and I am calling out your name, I am saying I love you. That is, if you ever return to our bed.”

She did not wait for a response, or even watch his reaction. She whirled and jerked the door open, and stalked from the room.

She feared he would never come back to her, no matter how hard she tried.

…

Sebastian was rooted to his chair. Her words washed over him and punched into a deep, cold recess in his heart. He felt a crack, and hardened himself at the rush of feelings. It could not have been easy for her to declare herself in the face of his indifference.

“I do not believe Jocelyn was aware that I was in the room.”

At Anthony’s amazed remark, Sebastian swiveled in his chair to face his brother. He had arrived early for the Christmas gathering, and Sebastian had yet to inform her.

“I don’t think I have ever seen you looking quite so at a loss, Sebastian.” Anthony grinned at the scowl that Sebastian sent him.

“Shut up, damn it,” he snapped, and prowled over to the decanter to pour two whiskeys. “How is Phillipa?” he asked as he handed one to his brother.

“Very happy and contented. She will journey down with her sisters and parents in a couple of days.” Anthony took a healthy swallow of his drink. “I thought someone was playing a prank when I read in The Times that you had wed Lady Jocelyn Rathbourne. Then I realized it must be true, because who would dare?”

Sebastian grunted, and stalked to the windows. He opened them a crack, letting in the chill.

“Bloody hell, Sebastian, you and the damn cold!” Anthony rose and joined him, gazing out at the landscape that was blanketed white with snow. “How on earth did it come about that you married Lady Jocelyn?”

Sebastian ground his teeth. “She barged in here with a derringer, claiming you had taken advantage of her and demanding satisfaction.”

“The hell you say!”

Sebastian broke down and chuckled as amusement trickled through him. “She was quite amazing. And I thought that instead of choosing one of the vapid, shallow misses who pepper the ton, a bold and adventurous woman would be preferable. Although I’ve come to realize that my days would be far more peaceful with a more biddable wife.”

He glanced at his brother, and they both roared with laughter. It was the first time he’d cracked a smile in days.