The Duke I'm Going to Marry(90)
“I owe you an apology and I hope you’ll accept it.” She placed her small hand on his arm. “I’m not very good at this courtship thing. I don’t suppose anyone would consider this a proper courtship anyway. We seem to leap from one scandal to another, from one adventure to another. A little too adventurous for my tastes, by the way.”
He let out a soft, groaning laugh. “For me, too.”
“What I’m trying to say, perhaps ineptly, is that you’ve never given me reason to doubt your honor. I’m truly sorry that I ever did.”
“Dillie, you don’t owe me—”
“But I do,” she insisted. “Elsie caught me by surprise, I will admit. Seeing you with her brought all my fears rushing to the fore.”
She glanced at the bales of hay piled up around them. “Won’t you sit down next to me? I’m getting a crick in my neck looking up at you.”
“As you wish.” He settled beside her, trying not to respond to the softness of her body against his, or the sweetness of her smile. She had his head spinning. He’d expected an argument, at best a heated conversation. But she was apologizing to him. Was he dreaming? “Daffy—”
“You’re still angry with me. You called me Daffy.”
“I’m not at all. I’m grateful to you for saving my life. A second time, no less. I’m surprised, but grateful, for your apology. I didn’t expect it. I didn’t expect you in my life.” The stable smelled of wet horse manure, wet hay, and wet chicken feathers. The place was damn cold, too. Yet it felt like paradise now that she was here beside him. He called her Daffy whenever he felt the urge to call her something far more dear, such as “my darling.” My love.
She had found her way so deeply into his heart that she was firmly etched in there. Forever. The depth of his feelings for this snip of a girl frightened him. A little unsettled, he rose again and propped his foot on the bale of hay where she sat. He leaned toward her, wanting to kiss her. Wanting to do so much more, but that would have to wait until he got her back into bed. “You turn me upside down and inside out.”
She grinned. “That’s progress, I think. Just try to see it from my position.” Then her grin faded a little and she shook her head. “You’re wonderful and perfect. Too wonderful and perfect. At times, you overwhelm me. I don’t know what I have to offer you. I’m still not sure why you’d want to chain yourself to me for the rest of your life. You’re a duke. You can do anything you wish. You can have any woman you desire.”
“And you thought I wanted Elsie?”
“In that instant. I allowed doubts about myself to cloud my reason. I have four brilliant and talented sisters, but I don’t have any particular brilliance or talents. My musical abilities are passable at best. I had an uninspired debut season, save for you landing in my bed at the very end of it. In short, I’m quite unremarkable. That’s what scares me the most. I want a man who will love me, but what do I have to offer a man to make him love me?”
Ian gaped at her in surprise. Did she truly not realize how wonderful she was? “You’re jesting, right?”
She frowned. “Seeing you with Elsie left me reeling. I didn’t know what to do, so I tried to think of how Lily would solve a particularly thorny problem. She always made lists. I began to make a list of your good attributes and your bad, only I couldn’t come up with any bad ones. As I said, you’re perfect.”
He shook his head and laughed. “Good to know.” He’d never had this sort of conversation with any members of his family, or any of his mistresses. His family simply hated him. His mistresses only wanted expensive gifts. Past mistresses. He no longer had any. Dillie was all he could handle at the moment.
Not just for the moment.
She was his forever girl.
“Well, that’s all I wished to say.” She gazed longingly toward the door and sighed. “I wish this horrid weather would end. My foot’s not only swollen, but half frozen.”
He reached for her hands and held them in his palms. “Your hands are cold, too. I had better get you back to the inn. Come on, Daffy. Put your arms around my neck. Let’s get you warmed up.”
“Why are you still calling me Daffy?” She continued to stare at him, her lips adorably pursed and aching to be kissed. So he did kiss them, but only a short, sweet kiss. He doubted he could hold back if it were to last longer.
She repeated her question. “Why?”
“Because you still have me off my stride.” He never thought he would ever feel this way about anyone. In truth, he never thought he would ever feel again. He’d watched his friends fall in love with the other Farthingale sisters, had seen them turn into besotted dolts, and been so certain the same would never happen to him.