Her hand slipped off his cheek. “No.”
The men in her family started toward him.
“Stay right there!” Dillie commanded them. “No one sets a hand on the duke.” There was a glint in her eyes that warned she’d take an elephant gun to anyone who dared cause him more harm. Him.
Him.
She was fighting to protect him. She stole his breath away.
“Your Grace, go home,” she said with purposeful formality, obviously hoping to end the discussion. “I’ll be fine. Thank you for offering to marry me. I truly appreciate the gesture. In truth, it’s quite something coming from you.”
He could barely make out the soft blue of her eyes for all the tears she had spilled. Her voice was shaking and her breaths were ragged. She was trying to remain composed for his sake. She was strong, but despite her protestations, she wasn’t at all fine. She was scared.
“It isn’t merely a gesture. The offer is real,” he said, allowing instinct to guide him. He didn’t want to think about what he was saying or what he was offering. He’d been running from marriage for most of his life. As Dillie had said, he was one of the unhappiest men she’d ever met. “Take all the time you need.” To emphasize his point, he leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Softest cheek. “I’ll be here for you whenever you’re ready. I’ll always be here for you, Dillie.”
There it was. He’d said it again. Always. Forever. These strange words kept tripping from his tongue as though they were the only ones he knew. As though they were the only words that could be said to Dillie. These sensations—affection, sharing, concern—were strange to him. In truth, they frightened him. He was opening up his damn turtle shell and inviting her in. There was a risk to it. She might not like what she found buried deep within.
His brother had died because of what he’d done. He could never take it back. “Always.”
The magic would end once she found out about James, and her affection would turn to disgust. He’d still protect and take care of her, of course. He owed her that. He’d provide all the advantages that came with the title of duchess, for she deserved the best.
As for him, he’d go back to being alone.
It was the only way of life he’d ever known.
CHAPTER 10
DILLIE SIGHED and tossed in bed, unable to sleep, as sunrise neared. She finally gave up, throwing off her covers to walk to the window. She hoped to find Ian standing in the garden below, his handsome frame outlined in the gray wisps of dawn. But he wasn’t Romeo and she wasn’t Juliet. He wasn’t standing beneath her window with a love-struck expression on his face, eager to spout sonnets to her beauty. He’d gone home... or possibly elsewhere to seek the comfort of another woman.
She knew he had a mistress.
She knew his mistress was exquisitely beautiful.
Oh, she would turn into a watering pot if she didn’t stop crying over Ian. Or wondering where he was. Or whether he had his arms wrapped around another woman.
She turned away from the window and settled on the bench beside it, her head swirling with the one decision to be made, the most important of her life. It should have been easy. Any other young lady would have been waltzing about her room after receiving an offer of marriage from a duke. Even if that duke were Ian.
Especially if that duke were Ian.
Dillie sighed, knowing she was different for wanting love and fidelity. No one else would have demanded it of him. No other would care about Ian’s discreet amours. Indeed, most young ladies would have been delighted at the prospect of acquiring a noble title and the riches certain to accompany said title. As for sharing Ian’s bed, most would have been shocked if he required it, for everyone knew that dukes and duchesses retired to their separate quarters. It wasn’t a hard and fast rule, but simply done that way.
Dillie had never been very good at following rules. She wanted to share Ian’s bed, wanted his strong arms about her on cold winter nights. Any other young woman would have been content to wrap her arms around her newly gained title, allowing it—and not the man—to keep her warm and cozy.
Indeed, Dillie knew she was different. She needed Ian beside her not only on those wintery nights but on warm summer nights, too. And cool spring nights. Also on mild autumn nights. She wanted him. Not his wealth. Not his title.
Had she just made the most idiotic decision of her life in rejecting his proposal? He’d spoken to her father before leaving, probably repeated what he’d said about waiting for her consent. His offer was still open. Always. For Ian, “always” meant about two weeks.
Her heart tightened. She was going to cry again. “You can’t spend the entire season in tears,” she muttered to herself. The sun would soon rise, giving way to a bright new day, and she had accomplished nothing. Not that she had much to accomplish, now that she was temporarily ruined. At least she hoped it was temporary. In any event, this season was over for her. She wouldn’t be invited into any respectable salons while scandal swirled about her. If she were by chance invited, it would certainly be to be put on display and mocked for the amusement of others.