Chapter Thirty-Four
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It was now late evening. After the deep quiet that always followed an anguished cry, Amana retreated, leaving the bed and the cabin to hide in the surrounding woods. Merc squashed all arguments against it and fought within himself the small fearful voice that said if he let her out of his sight, she’d disappear.
With that voice, the last doubts about what he felt for her vanished, because the fear didn’t come from a place that worried what she might do to him now or in the future, nor a place that foresaw her taking the book from him once again.
No, the voice spoke from the perspective of a future without her near him, her body not curled around his and her smile taken away forever. The only sign of relief when she appeared back at the cabin was closing his eyes and drawing a deep breath, both actions he was careful to hide from her. Without asking, he fed her, not surprised when she only picked at her food.
Now they were sitting in front of the fire, and the silence had gone on too long. He despised the doll-like mask that had sat on her face since she had returned. To him, she was shocked smiles and surprised laughter and a bone-deep fire that lit her every action.
This mask she had on now was what she showed to others, how she survived the everyday of the world she’d been fighting to survive to get to her brother. He didn’t want to experience this, to be relegated to the status of everyone else.
Her gasp sounded in the quiet room as he picked her up under her arms so her face was level with his, her feet dangling, and she grabbed at his shoulders to steady herself. “What are you doing?”
“Stop it.”
To her credit, she didn’t ask what he was talking about. Her eyes skittered to the side while her fingers curled into the muscle of his arms, and while the mask didn’t descend again, a haunting sadness seeped into her features.
Merc gathered her close, wrapping his arms around her torso, though letting her legs dangle free, so the moment she made a move for freedom he’d be able to give it. “I don’t care what you told me. If you think it changes anything between us, you’re wrong.”
“How could it not? I killed a man and let my brother go to jail in my place.”
“You were a scared kid, and your brother loved his sister enough that he stepped in. If you had more than a second to think, you would have stopped him, even at the cost of your life.”
She shook her head, that small mouth so tight with pain it was no longer visible. “You’re trying to forgive the unforgivable.”
“That only unforgivable in this situation is already dead.” He leaned close, pressed his forehead to hers as if it would impart everything – the gut-wrenching swoop as it settled within himself what she had gone through, the fearsome and helpless rage that he could not make it right for her, that she had gone through all this alone. The awe for her brother, who had made such a sacrifice. His words were a fierce and fiery whisper, the rumble in the ground that precedes the first eruptions of a mountain spewing fire. “You are a miracle, and your brother has my respect a thousand times over. The way you have fought and carved out your life after such wreckage, with such overwhelming odds against you, is something not even gods can claim. You are a warrior of the highest caliber, and any who can’t see that are fools.”
She buried herself into him, no cries, no sobs, her slight body shaking against his the only sign of emotion. It wasn’t the overwhelming tsunami that had crushed her earlier. These tremors signaled a return of the woman who met him on the beach that first night in the dream, and who had looked at him with such fire though she thought her life forfeit.
And then there was no time to let her finish her mourning, as the tattoos across his back and down his arms burned and rose in warning. Amana jerked back, her voice holding the last hints of tears. “What is it?”
“Enemies. Magic users.” There wasn’t time to berate himself on letting his attention lapse, letting himself get drawn into a personal crisis so deeply that he forgot to be constantly aware.
Now, there was only time to ready himself for the inevitable battle.
He set her down, pushing her up the stairs. “In the back of the closet there is a hidden door. Say the word Eden and it will appear. Go through and close the door behind you. You’ll be safe then.”
“I’m not leaving you.” All the prior depression was gone, and now only a fierce and angry woman stood before him.
“You can’t help me.” There was no time to spare feelings, no time to mince words. “Maybe in dreams you’re unstoppable, but here you have no skills. All you will do is divide my attention and give me a vulnerability. Now, help me and get yourself to safety.”