The Dom with the Dragon Tattoo(36)
She dangled her hand in the cool water again. “Mmm, you’re really spoiling me today. Now let me see. Ah, yes, first we had pizza and champagne. Then I had a life-changing experience in the flotation tank. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that, and now, a boat ride with the world’s most beautiful man, on the world’s most beautiful lake, with the sun just starting to dip below the horizon.” This was her perfect day. Her body still simmered with an intoxicating mix of contentment and excitement.
He stopped rowing and looked directly at her, and she knew he had something on his mind. He held out his hand. “Come and sit with me.”
Oh God, that sexy look in his amber eyes turned her on every time. This evening really was perfect. She briefly wondered if he’d set the whole thing up in order to ask that one little question. Will you marry me, Becca? Startled by her own thoughts, she suddenly sat bolt upright. Where the hell had that idea come from? Look around you, girl. The guy’s made a lot of effort. He hasn’t brought you all the way out here to talk about global warming or the price of gas. “You’re going to ask me something, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” He smiled and plumped up a couple of cushions. “But you won’t know what it is unless you get that sexy body of yours over here.” He encouraged her to move by patting the cushions.
Careful not to rock or capsize the boat, Rebecca tentatively moved across and sat between his legs. She loved him so much, and it felt wonderful when he wrapped his strong arms around her waist and rested his chin on top of her head. She heard him breathe in as though ready to speak, and she breathed in, too.
“I can see you’re really happy.” His deep voice rumbled against the back of her head.
“Never more so.”
“Good. I want to talk about our future together, Becca. I thought this would be a good place well away from any interruptions.”
“I wondered why you asked me to leave my cell phone behind. Go ahead, Tyler, I’m all ears.” She so wanted him to ask her to marry him, but she desperately needed to tell him that she couldn’t have children. Her deception had to stop, now, even if it finished their relationship.
Tell him.
Tyler breathed in before letting out a long, contented sigh. “I love you, and you love me, right?”
“More than anything else in the world.”
Tell him.
He pointed to the shoreline. “See that house over there, our house? I want to see it overflowing with happy, healthy children, our children. I want to leave the legacy I’ve built to them.” He took a deep breath. “Something’s been bugging me for a while now. What’s the point of owning the most successful software company in the US if I haven’t got any kids to leave it to?”
Rebecca knew exactly where the conversation was leading, but talk of children made her feel inadequate. Why the fuck hadn’t she told him already? She’d had numerous chances, but she’d always taken the coward’s way out and put off telling him for another time. The time was now.
Tell him.
“Marry me, Becca.” He kissed the top of her head.
“Yes,” she whispered, knowing full well she deceived him.
Coward. You’ve got to tell him. You’ve got to tell him now.
He hugged her closer still and tenderly brushed his lips over her ear. “You’ve just made me one happy guy. I’ll row us back to shore, and we can get started on those kids right away.”
Tell him, tell him, tell him. What the fuck are you doing, woman? What you’re doing is not fair. If you can’t give him the children he craves, let him go. Leave him. Let him find a woman who can give him children—a real woman—not some barren vessel.
No, no, no, I won’t leave him. I am a real woman, and I love him, and I won’t let him go, because I can’t live without him.
You can, and you will. Leave him before it’s too late. Leave him before you see the disappointment etched on his face.
Leave him!
Tears trickled down her cheeks and dripped into the boat. She was so confused. She just didn’t know what to do anymore.
A breeze was getting up and he stroked a stray hair from her eyes. “Why the tears, honey?”
She wiped them away with the back of her hand, but however many times she did it, they just kept coming. “I’m so happy, Ty,” she lied.
“That’s just great, honey, now let’s get you home.”
Rebecca had crossed the line in the sand. She’d promised herself she’d tell Tyler the truth before their relationship got to this stage. That way, she’d have given him the option of moving on without her. She hated herself at this precise moment, because she knew she’d trapped the man she loved with her lies and deception, and it would be impossible for him to continue loving her once he inevitably found out the truth.