He whispered softly in her ear with genuine affection, “I love you, Becca. I’ll always love you.”
She turned quickly in his arms and stared up into his face, raw emotion etched on hers. “I love you, too, Ty. You’ll never know how much.”
“Why the tears then?” He gently dabbed away the salty water with his fingertips.
“Oh, God, there I go again. I’m just so happy, Ty.” Suddenly she became serious, and her fingers feathered against his jaw.
He made to play bite her hand. “I mean obviously I’m not looking to start a family right here and now. But I am nearly forty, and you’re getting toward your midthirties.”
“Tyler, there’s something you should—”
The doorbell rang, cutting her off midsentence. He leaned down and kissed her lips. “Hold that thought, honey. I’ll be right back.”
He felt as though he was walking on air. He’d finally told Becca he loved her, and she’d responded by saying she loved him, too. Life just didn’t get any better than this. He strode to the front door on an emotional high and yanked it open with a flourish. A guy in his late teens held a large box out in front of him. “Pizza delivery, sir.”
“Thanks.” Tyler was just about to close the door when he said, “Hey, hold on a minute, kid.” He reached inside his jean pocket and pulled out a fifty-dollar bill. Tyler thrust it into the pizza delivery boy’s hand. “You have a great day now.”
The young man checked his palm. “Jesus. Fifty bucks? Thanks, mister.”
“You’re welcome, kid.” With that he shut the door and turned back to Rebecca, who was having trouble carrying two large cardboard boxes up the stairs. He called after her, “Pizza’s arrived.”
“Would you mind putting it in the oven? I just need to sort something out, and then I’ll be right down.”
“Okay, then you can finish telling me what you were gonna say before the pizza kid turned up.”
“Oh, it’s nothing important. I guess it can wait.”
Chapter Fourteen
Rebecca placed the last two cardboard boxes on the floor in amongst her other possessions and then dragged a trembling hand through her hair.
This was the happiest and yet saddest day of her life. She nervously nibbled at her thumbnail, pulling off a torn snag with her teeth. “Damn nails, that’s the third one I’ve broken today.” She walked across to the bedroom window that overlooked Tyler’s impressive garden. The view out to the lake was spectacular, and the sun glistened enticingly on the softly undulating waters. Tyler was a successful self-made man and he lived very well indeed, and what’s more, he wanted to share his life with her. She should be blissfully happy, and she was, but…
Tyler had told her he loved her. How wonderful was that, but the fact that she wasn’t being entirely candid with the man she loved worried her. As the willing submissive in a D/s relationship, it was her duty to be open and honest with her Master. This was of paramount importance and underscored their mutual trust. So holding back any part of her, whether it be emotional or physical, felt like a betrayal of that trust. The knowledge that Tyler wanted children had cut her like a knife, because whatever else she could give the man she loved and adored, she couldn’t give him that.
Goddamn. She rested her forehead against the bedroom window in frustration. She’d give him every ounce of love she possessed, but she couldn’t give him a child. Rebecca figured he’d want a son first and probably call him Tyler Stone Junior and expect him to take over at Cerberus Technology when he was older. Tyler had been adopted, so she could see just how important having a family of his own was to him.
I need to tell him. I really need to tell him. But if I tell him the truth, what will he do?
Fuck, if the kid delivering that damned pepperoni hadn’t showed up when he had, Tyler would already know the truth.
She breathed in, closing her eyes. And if I had told him, what then? Would she see the same disappointment in Tyler’s eyes as she’d seen in Mitch’s? She’d told Mitch the truth from the very beginning, and look where that had gotten her—a one-way ticket to loneliness.
Tyler deserved the truth, but she deserved to be loved and cherished just like any woman. How would she react if Tyler rejected her because she was barren? Shit, why should she be made to feel like half a woman, just because she couldn’t have children? Why did she feel the need to run away and hide every time children were even mentioned? Goddamn her childhood leukemia. Goddamn it to hell.
So much negative introspection. She needed to think things through with a clear, objective head. After all, Tyler hadn’t asked to marry her, so maybe there was no need to tell him everything yet. Anyway, she was far too emotional at the moment. When she’d calmed down and was in control of her thoughts, then she’d tell him. Perhaps?