I spend the afternoon reading and rereading my mother’s letter, studying her herb book, and trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do.
It takes me until late that night to come to the conclusion that although zandara has gotten terribly off track in Carrefour, it’s still who we are. I’ve been so focused on making sure the Périphérie isn’t harmed anymore and making sure Main de Lumière doesn’t have a reason to attack us, that I’m losing sight of our gift.
Sure, zandara can be—and has been—misused. But that’s the case with everything. If I walk away now, the inevitable result is that the scales will one day be tipped too far, and who knows what could happen then? I can’t fix anything by turning my back on it.
It’s nearly midnight when I show up at Peregrine’s house unannounced to tell her I’m not going to run from who I am anymore. I expect to find her alone, but instead, when she opens the door wearing a low-cut caftan that shows off her cleavage, I see Caleb standing in the shadows of her front hall.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, looking back and forth between them as my stomach drops.
Peregrine just rolls her eyes. “Don’t you call first, Eveny? It’s rude to drop by unannounced so late without a warning.”
“It’s not what you think,” Caleb says quickly. “We were talking about you.”
“You were?” I ask uncertainly.
“Oh for goodness’ sake, don’t be so melodramatic, Eveny,” Peregrine says.. “We’re not banging each other, if that’s what you’re asking. Not yet, anyhow,” she adds. “Stop being so theatrical and come in.”
I close the door behind me and follow the two of them into the living room. Peregrine settles onto the sofa and folds her long legs under her. A moment later, Audowido slithers out from behind a pillow and slinks into her lap. She pets him absentmindedly like he’s a cat.
“So why are you here?” Peregrine says, once Caleb has taken a seat in an armchair and I’ve perched uneasily on an ottoman. “More criticisms about how I’m horrible and selfish and superficial?”
“I came to tell you I’m in.” I glance at Caleb, who looks troubled.
“Meaning . . . ?” she says.
“Meaning I know I have to embrace this. I have to be the queen I was born to be.”
“I knew you’d come around,” Peregrine says. “Chloe will be so thrilled. So what do you want to do first?”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
She gestures to me. “Well, we could fix your hair or make your legs look longer. Or maybe we should start with your boobs. I’m sure Caleb would prefer C cups to A cups on you.”
I can feel my cheeks heating up. “I’m not here for a new body.”
She stops petting Audowido and waits for me to continue.
“I’m here to say that I’ll work zandara with you, but we’ve got to stop being so careless. Could you just hear me out for a second?”
Peregrine snorts. “Oh, this should be good.”
“Look, I know you think I’m being a goody-goody. But we have to fix what’s been done already, or it’s only a matter of time until we’re destroyed.”
“I see you’ve appointed yourself queen of the queens now?”
I ignore her. “You’ve only been using your power to make your own lives easier. Maybe once we stop being selfish, we’ll have a little more perspective on what to do about Main de Lumière.”
Peregrine studies me for a moment, then she leans forward so that Audowido can slither up her arm. When she stands to look at me, she looks positively creepy with her violet eyes blazing and her snake wrapped around her shoulders. He hisses at me, and I look away. He’s the one thing in this town I know I’ll never get used to.
“You know, it occurred to me as you were speaking how little you really know,” she says slowly. “And it seems to me that someone who’s so ignorant about things isn’t exactly qualified to give other people advice on how to run their lives.”
“I know I’m new at this—”
She cuts me off. “No, not that. I’m not referring to your little do-gooder speech. I’m talking about how clueless you are about your own life and how horrendously underqualified that makes you to judge mine.”
“Peregrine—” Caleb says, but this just makes her turn on him.
“Caleb, I know it’s your job to protect her, but this is a little much, don’t you think? You don’t get to shield her feelings too.” Peregrine smiles at me, her eyes glinting. “Like for example, it might hurt Eveny to know the real reason you’re so fixated on the rules is that your father let her mother die, and now you have to salvage your family reputation.”