The Dolls(106)

“Not if I learn how to use my powers to protect myself,” I had replied. “Not if I use them to protect Carrefour.”

“It’s not up to you,” Caleb had said. “It doesn’t have to be.”

“I don’t have a choice,” I had replied.

Now, as we begin to shuffle away from Drew’s grave and into the pale morning light of the cemetery, I try to catch Caleb’s eye across the gravesite, but he doesn’t look at me. I know he’s still carrying the burden of being the one who killed Drew. I know no one can take that pain away from him.

Liv, who hasn’t taken any of my calls in the last week, brushes up against me on the way out of the cemetery.

“Liv,” I say. “I’m so, so sorry about what happened to Drew.”

I’m unprepared for the anger I see in her eyes as she looks up at me. “I know it’s crazy,” she says, her voice tight and controlled. “But I have to ask. Did you have anything to do with Drew’s death?”

“What?”

Liv frowns. “I know you were in New Orleans too. Drew told me that night, before he left the ball, that he was coming to find you. He said he had to warn you about something. Did you see him?”

“No,” I lie. “I didn’t.”

“Well, then, did something happen between the two of you that I should know about?” she demands. “Because he was talking about you after you said you’d had that fight with Caleb. Like he was obsessed.”

“That’s crazy,” I say without meeting her eye. “He was totally into you.”

Liv looks at me suspiciously and presses her lips tightly together. I know she’s trying not to cry. “I don’t believe you,” she says.

My heart breaks a little as she walks away. I’ll do what I can to make it up to her in the future, but right now I know she needs some time alone.

Peregrine and Chloe hurry over and flank me as we head back toward our mansions on the cemetery edge.

“How are you feeling?” Chloe asks, putting a hand on my arm.

“Physically, better,” I say. I lower my voice and add, “Emotionally? I’m feeling terrible.”

“You can’t blame yourself,” Peregrine says.

“I know. But that doesn’t make it any easier.”

I’m still mad at them for not telling me about my father. They swore up and down that their mothers had only told them the basics: that my father was involved with some sort of magical sect in Georgia, and that they weren’t sure whether to trust him. But they’ve told me several times that it never occurred to them that his blood might have made Main de Lumière more interested in me.

“We don’t actually know that you’re any more powerful than we are,” Peregrine had said snippily.

But as they walk across the cemetery now, Chloe nudges me gently and says, “When this blows over, we’ll get everyone together and talk to your aunt and our mothers. You deserve to know everything they know about your dad. We’ll figure out what to do.”

They walk away to join Margaux and Arelia, who have already reached the sunshine near Peregrine’s back fence.

A few minutes later, I feel someone fall into step beside me, and I know without looking up that it’s Caleb. We walk a few steps in silence, and then he gently takes my hand.

“Are you okay?” I ask him.

“Getting there. So, can I take my job back?” he asks. “Officially? I want to be your protector again, Eveny. I almost missed the chance to save you in New Orleans because you broke the link between us. If I hadn’t been faking being possessed so I could try to keep an eye on you. . . .” He trails off and adds, “I don’t want to think what could have happened. As it was, I was almost too late.”

“I don’t want to put you in a position where you’re under any obligation to me. Or where your life is tied to mine.”

He stops walking, and when I stop too and look at him, I read frustration across his perfect face. “It has nothing to do with obligation anymore,” he says. “Have you thought of the fact that maybe I want my life tied to yours?”

We look at each other for a long time, then we begin walking again.

“What if I was just a normal girl?” I ask. “Instead of the most powerful zandara queen in Louisiana?”

“I’d still want to protect you,” he says right away. He pauses. “What if I was just a normal guy?”

“I’d still want you around all the time,” I say.

We continue to walk in silence, our fingers threaded together, our breath heavy, until we reach my back wall. Caleb helps me over and follows a second later, landing with a soft thud beside me.