“You’re sorry. You’re sorry.” The muscles in his neck pulsed with barely contained anger. “Who do you think you are to be changing Precious’ schedule on your first day here? You are her nanny, not her mother.”
“Erik, I know I’m not Precious’ mother and I’m not trying to replace her, either. But come on, you really think one missed piano lesson and two hours of reading for one day is going to have a lasting negative effect on her?”
“That’s beside the point, Michelle. You don’t make decisions for my daughter. You follow the ones I give you, not defy them. She’s my child! Not yours!”
“It doesn’t matter whose child she is, Erik. The important thing is that she is a child. One from whom you expect too much. You’ve overloaded her with swimming, dance, equestrian, and music lessons. The child doesn’t even have a day off to relax and be a kid. And now you went and signed her up for the summer theater—acting lessons. She doesn’t want to be an actress. She just wants to be a kid.”
His hands balled into fists and his jaw muscles twitched. “Precious enjoys all those activities.”
“She hates them. The only thing she likes is ballet, and maybe music. She’s afraid of horses. Did you know that?”
He stiffened as though she’d struck him.
Michelle wanted to point out that Precious was not Cassie, but thought the sound of his beloved wife’s name falling from her lips at a time like this would be a grave mistake. “You made up this itinerary to keep Precious out of your hair,” she said. “She goes along to keep you happy.”
“I don’t want my daughter growing up without focus and discipline like you. And how dare you take her to that neighborhood of yours? You know what kind of...” His voice trailed off.
Michelle winced at the implications in the unspoken yet hurtful words, but decided to let it go. It was time for the doctor to face himself, deal with the real issue that was eating him up. She really didn’t want to cause him more pain or guilt. God knows he had enough to last him a lifetime, but Precious was a powerless child and somebody had to fight for her. Holly, according to Felicia, was too chicken to do it.#p#分页标题#e#
Michelle realized that he might fire her when he heard what she had to say. If that was the case, then so be it, because she knew in her heart she could not do a good job at taking care of Precious if things remained the way they were.
Michelle wrapped her arms about her stomach to stop the panic rioting inside her. Her voice shook as she spoke. “Erik, I know you think that what you’re doing is best for your daughter, but apart from last night, have you really spent any quality time with Precious since her mother died?”
“I have a demanding career. I don’t have much time to spend with her. That’s why I hired a nanny. I was just lucky my phone didn’t ring during the play last night.”
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Precious lost her mother and she’s scared she’s losing you, too.” Michelle knew exactly how Precious felt. She and Robert had done everything to win their father’s attention after their mother died. But it was never enough. If it weren’t for good neighbors like Mrs. Hayes and Yasmine’s parents, she probably wouldn’t have even survived infancy.
“You don’t understand.” He grated out between clenched teeth. “Cassie was my life, and some drunk came along and took her away from me. I’m doing the best I can.”
“Why don’t you stop feeling sorry for yourself, Erik, and concentrate on your daughter? Yes, your wife is gone, but your daughter is alive, and she needs you. Stop wallowing in self-pity and guilt and show her how much you love her.”
His chest rose and fell and his eyes glowed like a furnace. “Don’t you dare tell me how to deal with my grief. You have no idea what I’m going through. This pain, this guilt are eating me up inside and there’s no one I can talk to.”
Michelle knew she’d struck a raw nerve—probably one that hadn’t been touched for two years. She longed to tell him that he had her, that he could talk to her, but Precious was her primary concern. If she could just get Precious’ life straightened out, she would make time for Erik, she swore in her heart.
“Did you know?” she said in a strangled voice, “that the day your wife died, she was upset with Precious because she’d lost something dear to her.”
His eyes clouded. “What are you talking about?”
Michelle paused, not wanting to go on, but knowing she had to. He needed to know how his daughter felt about him. It was the only way to bridge the distance between them. The truth hurt, but she knew it could also heal the pain inside them both. She shoved her hand in the pocket of her shorts. “Here,” she said pulling it out, and opening her palm.