He doesn't even know I had another job at the agency. What kind of shitty, fucked-up luck for him to patronize the same agency I worked for?
Was she the indifferent one? She seemed to be. She never questioned him about the things he did, thinking it wasn't her business to know. That was the tone of their relationship. Aside from the great sex, they never really talked about each other.
She thought back to the polo match. That would have been the perfect time to question him. Where did the money come from? How did he know those people? At the time, she thought they were clients of his photography. Now she knew that he was really one of them; a billionaire whose money got him horses, cars, women, and anything else he wanted.
Then she thought about all those weeks they spent together. How tender he had been. He really had respected her. He hadn't pried. All those weeks that she had kept her secret of her escort agency employment. But, thinking about it now, being support staff didn't make her one of the girls and she should have been honest with him.
Then she thought about those tapes. Him … Tristan … the father of her baby … making appointments with the glorified prostitutes. Wasn't that a bigger secret, and a more harmful one, than the fact that she worked there?
"Oh, God, now I'm confused," Cassidy muttered under her breath as she tried to find a comfortable position on the bed.
She felt a sudden urge to pee as the baby shifted inside her belly. Cassidy flailed like a fish in search of a foothold.
"Damn it, I just went less than an hour ago," she complained as she finally found the balance she needed to lift her enormous body from off the bed.
She bore down hard on her feet to keep upright. As she grunted with effort, she felt the sudden gush of something warm between her legs.
"Shit," Cassidy muttered, thinking she had peed on herself.
The liquid felt warm and sticky. Cassidy froze as she held on tightly to the side of the bed. She was going to have a panic attack and wanted to run out of the room, but she was also frozen in place because she knew what had just happened.
"Mom! Dad!" she shouted at the top of her voice.
They were in her room within seconds, but to Cassidy's panicked mind it seemed like ages . She stared at them, wide-eyed, and unable to move.
"I-I-I think my water just broke … "
Her father turned around, moving swiftly towards the door while muttering, "Where are my keys? Babe, have you seen the keys? My keys … where are my keys?"
He then turned back to stand beside her mother with an idiotic look on his face. Meanwhile, mom took a fresh pair of pants from her daughter's cabinet with dad trailing behind her. He was obviously flustered and didn't know how to make himself useful.
"Dad," her mom said, gently but firmly holding his arms, "go back to our room. The keys to the car are on the bedside table … where they always are. Put a shirt on and change those pajamas. I'll take care of Cassidy. We'll wait for you downstairs. Hurry!"
Mom was the voice of reason as Cassidy felt the first pangs of labor hit her like a sledge hammer. Her sudden scream sent her dad scurrying away.
It didn't take long before they were on their way to the hospital. Cassidy bit down on her lip as another spasm hit her. It wouldn't help if she screamed in pain. With dad so agitated, they might just get into an accident. She was thankful it was nighttime and the traffic was light. Dad whizzed through yet another red light.
Thankfully the trip took all of fifteen minutes before dad came to a dramatic stop, hitting the brakes with gusto in front of the Emergency Entrance to Mercy Hospital. An intern wheeled a chair for her to sit on as mom and dad trailed behind her.
"She's having a baby … she's having a baby … " dad announced to every white-coated person he met along the way.
Mom was doing her best to pacify him as Cassidy let go of a groan that could wake the dead. Thankfully, the doctor came and led her to the examination room, leaving her mom and dad looking helplessly after her.
"This baby is in a rush to get out," the doctor announced to a nurse, who helped Cassidy out of her street clothes and into a blue hospital gown.
They laid Cassidy gently on the obstetrics delivery bed with her thighs wide open and astride in the leg holders. She was panting and groaning, beads of sweat running down her face. Her whole body was heaving. The nurse coached her to blow air between her lips with each contraction.
Cassidy had never felt so much pain in all her life. Her vagina felt like it was going to be ripped apart as the pressure increased tremendously between her legs. With every wave of contraction, she focused her effort on synchronized breathing.
"C'mon, honey, help your baby … breathe, then push … she's almost here … "
Cassidy felt faint with the intensity of the pain between her legs.
"Give me one long breath, and then push with all your might," the nurse coaxed her.
Cassidy inhaled until her lungs felt ready to burst. Weak with pain, she gathered her remaining strength and pushed as hard as she could. The tight band between her legs was suddenly gone as the doctor pulled the baby out from under her. Cassidy heard the loud wail against the white haze that threatened to overwhelm her. She fought hard to remain conscious, aware as the doctor drew near and placed the newborn against her chest.
"You have a beautiful baby girl," he announced.
Cassidy looked down and saw the fuzzy head. Tears of happiness welled in her eyes at the touch of the baby's skin. She watched as the baby instinctively put a hand in her little mouth and sucked.
"Oh, my baby, my baby … " Cassidy crooned in disbelief.
At the sound of her voice, the little bundle squirmed and tilted her head up looking wrinkled and pruned. She frowned as if irritated by everything that had just happened, and then let out a small squawk, opened her eyes, and stared right into Cassidy's eyes.
Her heart felt full. Nothing she had ever felt, even her feelings for Tristan, equaled the fullness of caring she felt as she looked into the child's eyes. She held her close. She was flooded with joy.
"Dee," she whispered softly. "Dee, you are my baby girl. I love you more than you will ever know." Contentment flowed through her body. Tired contentment. Dee still looked up at her, her little eyes focused on Cassidy's face. She tried to remember from all the books she had read what newborns actually saw and remembered something about scent; the baby and the mother recognizing each other's scent.
She bent over and drank in the sweet odor of her baby. "We're a team, girl. I promise to make life good for you."
Dee had the most luminous grey-green eyes Cassidy had ever seen. The only time she had seen another pair like those staring at her now was on that rainy night in New York, long ago when she first met Tristan. The night he walked into the coffee shop. Now he was a father and didn't know the joy he was missing.
Cassidy knew in her heart that whatever mistakes she had made by being with Tristan, it was worth it for the child she held in her arms.
She vowed to herself and to Dee that she would make life good for them both.
Chapter Eleven
Cassidy stood on the sidewalk of New York City, looking up at the extraordinary buildings that pierced the sky. The sidewalks were congested with people frantic to reach their destination. The steady racket of voices hailing for a taxi and hawkers pressing their wares created an atmosphere of an urban jungle. The scent of fuel exhaust from buses going to numerous directions assailed her nostrils, competing with the smell of brewed coffee and hotdogs sold on city street corners.
Cassidy realized how much she'd missed all these things. There was a vibrant feel that resonated to the very core of her being as she reacquainted herself with the sights and sounds of the city immortalized in countless songs.
She was keeping her vow to Dee. Poverty would never be part of that child's life. Cassidy knew that New York would supply the money that would keep Dee free from growing up in want. Surrounded by the love of Cassidy's mom and dad with money coming in from whatever work Cassidy found here, her child would be safe.
Right away she found temporary accommodation at the local YMCA while she searched for a cheap apartment. At least it was near Grand Central Station, which made her commute much easier, but she had to spend sensibly. The money her father loaned her was not going to last very long. She was embarrassed to accept it, but she had no choice, and she knew her folks felt better knowing she had some cash on hand. She promised she'd pay them back as soon as she found a job.