Oh, Tristan, why couldn't you be who I thought you were?
Everything she knew about him was hinged on a lie.
Forty-eight hours later, she was on a Greyhound bus bound for Birmingham, Alabama. Cassidy decided to stay for a few days with Aunt Mattie, her father's sister. Her mom and dad were just an hour's drive away in Tuscaloosa. She needed time to think. Now that she was here, she didn't know what to do next. She was afraid of confronting her folks with the news that she was pregnant. Surely they would be thoroughly disappointed. They always thought she was the most sensible girl in the world.
Aunt Mattie was bent over and suffered from arthritis. She was a placid woman with graying hair and astute eyes that could see through her anguish. She didn't pry, but knew that Cassidy was weighed down about something.
"Tell them, honey. Whatever it is that's buggin' you, tell your momma and papa. They'll understand," Aunt Mattie said.
Cassidy took Aunt Mattie's advice and went home the very next day. Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest as she entered the gate leading to the house. Her mom, looking frail and weakened, opened the door even before Cassidy reached the porch. The look of incredulity was immediately replaced by delight at the sight of her. Astonishment took over as Cassidy came rushing straight into her arms. Mom led her to the kitchen where her equally astonished dad was seated at the table drinking coffee.
"Cassidy, honey, why didn't you call and let us know you were coming? I could have come and picked you up at the bus stop!"
Cassidy saw the look that passed between her folks. They had been married so long that sometimes words simply weren't needed. Dad ushered his distraught daughter into a chair, making certain his wife was comfortably seated too.
Dad bustled about in the kitchen heating a kettle of water. He had one of those vintage thermos flasks in which he stored boiling water. Cassidy often teased him about getting a modern coffee maker, but her dad refused, saying the flask was what made the coffee taste delicious.
"Tea, mama?" he asked, and Mom nodded.
Cassidy knew it was all part of the daily routine that made up their life together. Her mom never drank anything except chamomile tea.
"For me too, Dad."
Dad raised an eyebrow in surprise. His daughter never drank tea. She hated it. Yet he said nothing and produced another cup for her. As the three sat there in comfortable silence, Cassidy knew her mom and dad wouldn't ask her any questions. Not if she wasn't ready to talk about whatever was troubling her.
"How are you doing, mom?" Cassidy asked. "Is the cancer any better than before?"
The last time she talked to her dad when she was back in New York, he'd said that her mom's cancer had progressed and she'd needed more chemo.
"I'm doin' well, considering … " her mom replied. "Oh, we haven't told you the good news yet. Dad managed to sell the property along the river, remember that? He got a good offer for it."
"Oh, mom, you and dad loved that cabin. We spent a lot of good times there when I was growing up," Cassidy protested tearfully. She felt so helpless against the ravages cancer had made to her Mom's body, and now it was eating up their assets.
"I know, honey," her dad replied, reaching out a hand to pat hers. "But it was getting so dang rundown and the four-hour trip wasn't worth it no more. Besides, the guy who bought it said he would restore the cabin and make it really nice. Even offered to let us stay for free any time we wanted to."
"Dad, I'm really sorry I couldn't send more money to help with the repairs."
"Don't be crazy, honey. You were a big help … always. We knew that we shouldn't depend so much on your kindness, 'cause you have a big life out there in New York. It wasn't fair to you at all. New York must be expensive. We're really sorry we couldn't come and visit either … your mom bein' sick and all."
"So … how's work? You doin' okay?" Mom asked.
Cassidy remembered the reason she was home and knew that the time to tell them the truth was now. She drew a deep breath and replied, "I resigned from my job at Ron's Good Beans Cafe. I had that other job, and I resigned from there too."
Her mom and dad looked at her seriously. Both said nothing. Only looks of patience and understanding were written on both their faces. Those looks opened the floodgates once more as tears began to stream down her face.
"Whatever, it is, Cass, it can't be so bad," her dad consoled her.
"Oh, dad, I'm so ashamed of myself. I met this man, and … and … "
Mom and dad reached out and took each of Cassidy's hands. Dad squeezed her lightly, while Mom caressed her wrist with her thumb.
Cassidy haltingly began her story. She told them how she'd been incredulous when she told them about that first meeting when Tristan left her a $500.00 tip under the coffee cup. The flowers that arrived the next day were equally surprising, but these gestures started her off on her journey to expectation. She was elated when he came back looking for her and took her out to dinner. She spared nothing about going back to his apartment where they made love for the first time.
Her parents listened attentively with no reproach and no judgment, even when she divulged she‘d been working at an escort agency. They shared her joy, her pain, and her horror of seeing the video of him with all those women. They, too, were stunned to hear that he was a very rich man pretending to be a photographer.
"So … you made a mistake. That's alright, honey. You have very little experience and this Tristan … he sounded like such a swell guy," mom said.
"Oh, mom," Cassidy sobbed, overwhelmed with the sympathy. "I didn't leave New York just because he broke my heart … I left … I left because … I'm pregnant with his baby."
A momentary silence ensued.
Her dad's voice sounded different when he asked, "Does he know?"
Cassidy shook her head, and for the first time was uncertain if she did the right thing by not letting Tristan know. She had debated with herself. He was rich and the money would surely make things easier. Yet, somehow, the thought of his addiction made the idea disgusting. She didn't want her baby tainted in any way.
"How far along are you?" mom asked softly, glancing at her belly.
"Three or four months … I think." After a short pause, Cassidy added, "I... I almost decided to have an abortion. But I couldn't go through with it."
"Cassidy Johnson, you will do right by that baby. Never, ever, do anything that will harm that sweet bundle of joy. Do you hear me?" Mom admonished, as Cassidy nodded her head meekly.
Mom demanded that she take a rest in her bedroom, saying all that traveling must not be good for the little one.
Cassidy went upstairs to her old room. It was exactly as she had left it years ago. The quilted green and yellow patchwork quilt her mom made for her eighteenth birthday still covered the bed. The music box dad bought for her was on the dresser, along with some of her favorite combs and hair ornaments. The trophy she won when she joined the beauty contest stood on a pedestal tucked in one corner of the bedroom. The sash bearing her contestant number was wound against the base of the tall trophy.
Approaching her bed, she glanced up and saw the poster of Brad Pitt as Tristan Ludlow from the movie ‘Legends of the Fall.' Somehow the poster stirred up memories of a rainy night in New York City. Cassidy stood on the bed, ripped the poster off, tore it to shreds, and tossed it away.
That purging act made her feel so much better, like she was expunging some ghost that had hovered over her. She realized her mom was right. She was exhausted from the long journey from New York to Birmingham, and then on to home. However, she didn't feel as burdened anymore. She actually felt relieved, lighter; like a great load was taken from her shoulders.
Cassidy stifled a yawn as she stretched out on her old bed. Everything felt familiar, welcoming, and secure. She closed her eyes, intent on getting some sleep, when a strange fluttering inside her tummy made her eyes open widely in surprise.
There it was again. An odd feeling like there was a butterfly inside her stomach. Cassidy gasped as the realization hit her. Her baby was moving for the very first time.
Chapter Ten
Cassidy spent the next few months reading books. She went to the public library and came home with tons of paperbacks about how to care for newborn babies. Her mom laughed at her worries and apprehensions.
"Of course you'll learn how to change a diaper. It's not rocket science, silly."