"Yay! Kayla, you're going to be my mommy, right? Soon, soon, soon. Then there can be a new baby to play with!"
She must have gotten the answer she was looking for because she didn't even finish her breakfast. She hopped down out of her chair and scooped Moo Moo up into her arms, singing to herself and scurrying across the floor and out of the room while singing Happy Birthday under her breath. That left just David and me sitting at the table with the massive thing he had just said hanging in the air between us.
"Are you okay?"
He seemed so nervous that I couldn't help but laugh. He was the one who had been made to field such a dicey question, after all. Even so, he was worrying about me. Maybe he hadn't been completely full of shit when he said those things to Sophie. Was that possible, that he actually meant it?
"Sure, I'm fine. Kids ask that kind of thing, don't they? They have this super strong need to know the way things will work out. You handled it well, though. You didn't panic, didn't upset her. You did good."
"How would I have upset her?"
"I don't know. If she tells you she wants a mommy and you say it's not going to happen. You made her happy without completely committing to anything."
David's eyes darkened and he pulled his chair closer to mine so quickly that it made me jump. He took both of my hands into his and looked at me with such a high level of intensity that it was almost frightening. I had to fight not to look away.
"Kayla, what exactly do you think I was doing there?"
"What do you mean? You were answering Sophie's question. I know that, David."
"Right, but do you think it was a lie? Do you think I was lying to her?"
"I, well, I don't know. Not lying to her. I'm not trying to accuse you of anything like that. Maybe just embellishing a little bit for her sake. You know she'll probably forget all about it in a day or two."
"No, I don't think she will, but it honestly wouldn't matter. Nothing I said was anything but the truth. I know we haven't known each other for all that long, but I meant what I said. I do hope you're her mother one day. I hope you don't ever leave this place."
"I already live here," I said, laughing nervously and trying to diffuse the tension, "and it's part of my job. It doesn't look like I'm going anywhere, does it?"
"No, but I don't want you to be here because it's your job. I want you to be here because you want to be here, and not in the garage apartment, either."
"David, I do want to be here. I didn't mean to say that I don't."
"Then move in with me."
I felt like all of the air had been knocked out of my body. A guy had never asked me that before. I hadn't even thought about what it would be like to be on the receiving end of a question like that, especially not by a man like David. I wasn't even sure how it would work if I said yes. Wouldn't it make the parameters of my job just a little bit confusing? Or maybe I just wasn't understanding what he wanted.
"Move in with you? What do you mean? I already live here."
"No, Kayla. I don't want you to just live here. I want you to move in with me. Not as the nanny, but as my girlfriend. I want this to be real. I'm ready for it to really mean something. I want to take an honest shot at this. I think we could really be happy together, for a long, long time."
So I hadn't misunderstood him, not about any of it. There were no ulterior motives or unknown caveats. He wanted me to move out of the garage apartment and into his bed, to be a real, legitimate couple. I only had to think about it for a split second before I knew exactly what my answer would be.
"So I guess I'm out of a job, then, huh? I can't be your live-in girlfriend and your live-in nanny."
"Is that a yes? Kayla, please tell me you're saying yes."
"I am. That's exactly what I'm saying."
Then his strong, capable hands were cradling my face and drawing me in for a long, slow kiss. I kissed him back with a lust I had never known before. Now that I knew how much he wanted me and I felt like I could really trust that, I couldn't get enough of him.
I could have spent the rest of the day entwined in his arms. I would have, too, if I had gotten my way. But much too quickly he pulled away from me, leaving both of us breathless and aching for more. I could see that he had something to say so I resisted the urge to just jump into his lap and see where that led us. It was much harder to resists than I could have imagined.
"Kayla, I have one other question to ask you. If that's okay, that is."
"Oh god, I don't know if I can handle any more of your questions. You're going to give me a heart attack!"
"It's a good question, I promise. If I can find someone else to watch Sophie for a couple of hours, would you be up to running by the hospital with me? I thought maybe we could get the paperwork rolling today."
"Paperwork?"
"For your school in the hospital, of course. Did you think I forgot? Unless you've changed your mind, that is. You certainly don't have to open it."
"No!" I squealed with a little bit more intensity than I meant to use. "I haven't changed my mind. I just didn't think it would get rolling this quickly."
David smiled at me and kissed me again, faster this time so as not to distract us from the task at hand. He had the most mischievous look on his face and I couldn't help giggling. It was so endearing for such a talented, serious man to be able to show that side of himself. It was an unbelievable feeling to be one of the few people he chose to let in that way.
"Believe me, Kayla. When I want something to happen I get it taken care of quickly. I'm funny that way. I just have to be properly motivated. Now. Let's settle on a babysitter so we can get going."
***
"Oh my god, I can't believe this is really happening. Is this real?"
I whispered into David's ear, not wanting any of the hospital staff to hear me. I felt beyond silly asking it in the first place, but I just couldn't help it. It seemed like I was living in a dream. There was still a nagging little voice in the back of my head telling me that the dream could still be sabotaged, but the voice was getting further and further away. I was finally starting to feel safe.
"Just wait here for one minute. I'm going to go get some paperwork out of my office and then we'll be ready to roll."
I nodded, watching him go with a mixture of love and fear. I didn't really fancy the idea of being left alone at the nurses' station, even for a small amount of time. All I could do was stand there, trying to be as invisible as possible and counting down the seconds until David was back by my side.
"Hey, I know you."
My heart stopped. I swear it stopped beating in my chest. I turned slowly to face my accuser, hoping desperately that the person would be someone I had never seen before and was only mistaking me for someone else. No such luck.
I recognized the nurse immediately. She had been around a lot while my sister had been dying. We hadn't really exchanged many words, but I had seen her practically every day. Still, she must have seen so many people since then. Maybe I could convince her that she was mistaken.
"I don't think so, I'm sorry. Perhaps you've mistaken me with somebody else."
"No," she said with a determined, scrutinizing look, "I never forget a face."
"Well I've been the nanny for Dr. Wyatt for the past several months and I helped put his daughter's birthday party together, the one we had here just yesterday. That's probably it."
"No. That's not it either. It's your sister."
"My sister?"
"Yes, your sister was here, as a patient. I remember her. The two of you were really sweet together. I was sorry to see that she had passed. Nikki. Nikki Evans. That was her name. And you're Kayla Evans. You look like you're doing much better. I'm glad to see that."
She smiled at me sweetly, having no idea that I felt like I was dying inside. Then she nodded to someone who had come up behind me and I knew. I just knew it would be David. I turned around slowly, hoping against hope that I would be wrong, but I wasn't. Everything had finally caught up with me and now my happy ending would come crashing down around me.
"David … "
"No. Don't. I was right. My mother was right. I can't believe this, Kayla. How the fuck could you do something like this?"