"Hey, Kayla, doesn't someone we know have a birthday coming up?"
Sophie's little head perked up immediately and Kayla gave me a conspiratorial smile.
"I'm almost sure we do, but I can't remember who it is. Is it your mom?"
"No, that's not it. She would be making a huge dramatic deal about it if her birthday was on the horizon."
"Is it one of the doctors at the hospital?"
"No, I don't think so. I don't think I even know any of their birthdays."
"Well, then who could it be?"
By this point Sophie was red in the face with the effort of waiting to see if we would figure out who it was. Finally it was too much for her and she climbed down out of her chair and started jumping up and down.
"Me! It's me! My birthday is coming. You should know. Bad, Daddy. Bad, Kayla."
Her little foot stamped and her lip poked out. Kayla got out of her chair and knelt on the floor next to Sophie. She reached out and tickled her until the pouty face was replaced by a fit of laughter. She collapsed on the floor and then climbed into Kayla's lap. The two of them looked so natural together like that that it almost took my breath away. It was like they belonged together, like the three of us made up a perfect family unit.
"Are we bad? Are we bad, Sophie?"
"Maybe," Sophie responded, still giggling, and now waving her legs around in the air excitedly.
"Well, what if I told you that we knew it was your birthday all along? Would we still be bad then?"
"No!"
"And what if I told you that we wanted to talk to you specifically just to find out what you want for your big five years old birthday party? What would you say then?"
"Puppy!"
Oh shit, I should have seen that coming. It shouldn't have surprised me in the slightest that Sophie would be interested in a dog. Mikey had always loved dogs. He had been that type of guy who was forever bringing home strays. It was any animal, really, any animal that might need some help or a home, but it was dogs in particular. Anna had always been really cool about it, too. She used to say that if her biggest issue with her husband was that he was too kind to animals then she had a pretty good husband. When he was alive his need to take care of helpless things had bugged the shit out of me, but looking back on it I could see that Anna had been completely right. Still, that didn't really mean that I was looking to take on a dog in my house. Who was going to take care of it?"
"A puppy, huh? Hmm. I'm not so sure about that. Anything else you might be interested in?"
"Two puppies!" she said stubbornly. She may have been a little girl, but she knew how to hold her ground. I had a feeling that was a quality Kayla was encouraging in her.
"No, not two puppies. Is there anything you want for your birthday that doesn't involve a puppy at all?"
"No. Why no puppy?"
"I don't know. Maybe I'm allergic."
Kayla let out a snort of laughter and I looked wearily in her direction. This conversation wasn't really going quite as I had planned.
"What's so funny?"
"Oh nothing. It's just something you said."
"Which thing?"
"The whole ‘maybe I'm allergic' thing. That's all."
"How come?" I asked, trying to be indignant but failing miserably. "I could be allergic."
"That's right, you could be allergic. That doesn't mean you are."
I opened my mouth to speak without a clear plan as to what my rebuttal should be, but right at that moment the front bell rang loudly. Kayla laughed again as she stood both her and Sophie up.
"I guess you got saved by the bell this time, didn't you, mister?"
"I guess I did. Now how about we eat some pizza?"
***
"So tell me the truth, David. Are you really allergic to dogs?"
The pizza had been eaten and Sophie had been put to bed hours ago. This was the part of my day I had come to like best, the quiet part where Kayla and I had some time to ourselves. Now we sat on the large sofa in front of the fireplace, Sinatra playing over the stereo and the bottle of red on the table in front of us. Kayla looked beautiful, also the way I liked best. No makeup and in her pajamas, her feet curled under her and her head swaying slightly to the music. Yes, I loved her. Whether or not it made any sense I loved her very much.
"David? Earth to David. Dogs? Allergic, yes or no?"
"Nope, not allergic. At least I wasn't the last time I checked."
"Well, then why don't you want her to have a puppy?"
"I don't know, she's just so young. You know she won't be able to take care of it, so who is it that's going to take care of it?"
"Honestly?" she asked with a little smirk. "Probably me. But I don't mind that. It's actually a really good way to teach her about responsibility and how to take care of another living thing."
"Well, now that you pull in the teachable moment thing."
"I'm serious! It could be really good and she seems to want it so much. Come on, David, it's her birthday."
"We'll see. I'll think about it."
The truth was that if both of them really wanted us to have a puppy we were going to get one, no questions asked. There was no way I was going to say no to both of them, not when I loved them so much. But a man has his dignity and I wanted to at least pretend that I had some pull, had the final say. From the look on her face Kayla wasn't fooled at all, but she was gracious enough not to say anything. That was another thing I liked about her. She never rubbed it in once she had won something. She almost made it seem like whatever that something was had been your idea to begin with.
"Well, how about we talk about a different part of the whole birthday thing. Are you going to have a party for her?"
"Sure I will. I haven't done that since she's been living with me. I never felt like it made sense to with the way things were between us, but things are different now. You made them different, Kayla."
"Stop," she said quietly as she looked into her glass, "I didn't do anything."
"You did. You did a whole hell of a lot. But going back to your question, I think a party would be great. It would be like a celebration of her birthday and the fact that we're really like a family now. She really does feel like my little girl now."
"That's amazing. It makes me so, so happy to hear that."
Her eyes were shiny with tears and I put my arm around her, kissing her gently and hugging her close. She was so gentle, so sweet. I didn't know how to make her understand how much of a difference she had made in our lives in such a short amount of time. My only hope was to try and show her. We were quiet for a while, just sitting together and thinking our separate thoughts, before Kayla spoke again.
"Where are you going to have it?"
"How come?"
"I don't know, just thought I would ask."
"Oh no, I don't think so. You've got something up your sleeve, I can tell. What did you have in mind?"
She sat up straight, practically bouncing on the couch cushion and looked at me with excitement that was contagious.
"It's just this idea I had. You can say no if you want to."
"Well, you'll have to tell me what it is before I can even think about saying no. Come on, what's the idea?"
"I don't know if you'll go for it. I don't even know if it's possible."
"Just tell me, babe. Almost everything is possible. You just have to go at it the right way."
"It's just that I haven't been able to stop thinking about the hospital. Your hospital."
"Okay, what about it exactly?"
"It's the children's wing. All of those kids cooped up in a hospital, not getting to actually be children. It just seems so awful."
I kept quiet, watching her intently. I could see that she was nervous to bring up whatever it was she had thought up but I wanted her to be able to say it without any further prompting from me. I wanted her to know that she could trust me to do that.
"I was just thinking, maybe we could have her party there. She doesn't know many children her own age and those kids could use the distraction. I feel like it could be good for a lot of people."
Leave it to her to think of something like that. She was always thinking about how she could make things better for people. Truthfully, it made me feel just a little bit ashamed of myself. It was something that I should have thought of, but since I didn't I was glad she did.