He was staring at her. ‘That isn’t true.’
‘It’s true. I met Lizzie’s father at a party. He was good-looking and fun to be with—’
Jack’s mouth tightened. ‘Spare me the details.’
‘I thought you wanted the details.’
‘I don’t want to know that you found him attractive,’ he grated, and Bryony stared at him in exasperation, wondering if he realised just how contradictory he was being. One minute he was saying that he didn’t love her and the next he was showing all the signs of extreme jealousy.
‘We spent the night together,’ she said finally. ‘I was determined to forget about you.’
‘And it worked, yes?’ His eyes glittered strangely. ‘I mean, you’ve never given even the slightest hint that you cared about me, so it must have worked.’
She sighed. ‘I didn’t give the slightest hint that I cared about you because you would have done what you’re doing now. Panic. And, no, it didn’t work. At least, not in the sense that you mean. It taught me that I’m a one-man woman, and that man is you, Jack.’
‘But you slept with him.’
She blushed and gave a wry smile. ‘Just the once.’
‘And then you slept with other men—yes?’
She shook her head. ‘No other men. There didn’t seem any point when none of them were you.’
He ran a hand over the back of his neck, visibly shaken by her admission. ‘You’re saying that last night was only the second time you’ve had sex in your life?’
She nodded. ‘That’s right, Jack. Why? Did I disappoint?’
There was a faint sheen of sweat on his brow. ‘You know you didn’t disappoint.’ He let out a long breath and closed his eyes briefly. ‘Blond—Bryony, I don’t know what to say.’
‘Say that you love me, too,’ she croaked, ‘because I know you do, Jack. I saw it in your eyes last night.’
He shook his head, his expression bleak as he looked at her. ‘I can’t say that.’ His voice was hoarse. ‘I wish I could, but I can’t. You know I don’t do commitment, Bryony.’
‘Yes, you do.’ She tipped her head on one side and watched him. ‘You have been there for me for every second of the last twenty-two years, Jack, and since Lizzie was born you’ve been there for her, too. If that isn’t commitment, then I don’t know what is. I know you love me, Jack.’
She knew she was pushing him and her heart was thudding in her chest as she anticipated his reaction. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do, but what did she have to lose?
He shook his head. ‘I can’t be what you want me to be. I’d let you down. I’d let Lizzie down.’
‘I don’t believe that,’ she said softly. ‘I know that you had a terrible childhood. I know that your parents had a terrible marriage, but they never loved each other. That was so obvious. We do. We really love each other. We were always meant to be together.’
‘Is that why you slept with me last night?’ His eyes burned into hers. ‘Because you thought I’d say—I’d say those three words?’
Which he couldn’t even bring himself to say as part of a conversation, Bryony observed sadly.
‘I slept with you because it felt right and because I love you,’ she said quietly. ‘I’m not trying to trap you, Jack. You’re my best friend. It’s just that I know you love me, too.’
‘That’s not true.’
‘Jack.’ Her tone was patient. ‘Since November I’ve been dating other men. Or, at least, I’ve been trying to. It hasn’t been going that well and lately I’ve been asking myself why.’
He looked at her warily. ‘And what has that got to do with me?’
‘Everything.’ She stared at him and sighed. ‘Jack, that first night I went out with David. You hated my dress. You said it was indecent.’
‘It was indecent.’
‘But the other night you wanted me to wear it for you. You didn’t find it indecent then.’
Hot colour touched his cheekbones and he breathed in sharply. ‘That’s different.’
‘You wouldn’t let me invite him in for coffee, you wouldn’t let him drive me home…’ She listed the various incidents and he grew steadily more tense.
‘I never said I didn’t care about you,’ he said stiffly, ‘but just because I don’t want you to marry the wrong man doesn’t mean I love you. You’re reading too much into it, which is a typically female pastime.’
‘Is it?’ She looked at him calmly. ‘Where do you spend most of your free time, Jack? Do you go home?’