Now she purses her lips, looking down at the fabric of the couch.
I can’t bear it.
“I didn’t want to steal from him, Mom. I never got any money. I just wanted to make sure that Adam was all right.” I lean forward and take her hand in mine. “I just had to protect him.” The words come out urgently, my voice low and pleading.
Mom shakes her head slowly. “I can’t blame you for that.” She takes another sip of the water, then carefully screws the top back on to the bottle. “I can only blame myself.”
“What?”
“I left the two of you on your own for too many years. You don’t have to shield him from the world anymore, Angie. He’s a grown man.”
“I know that.”
“I just don’t understand.”
“I know.”
“Don’t you feel badly about it all?”
She’s trying to figure out if she’s raised monsters instead of the decent people she’s always wanted us to be.
“Mom.” My voice is choked with tears. “I feel horrible about it every day. And not just because....”
I can’t continue. Jett’s face is all I can think of, but not his rage when I told him what I’d done. His contentment when we were in bed together, lying curled up together under the sheets.
“Oh, Angie,” she says, then gathers me into her arms. “You fell in love, didn’t you?”
I have to force the words out between sobs. “I fell in love...and I couldn’t stop it, even then.”
Chapter Forty-Two
Jett
Yesterday was a mistake.
After the piano bar, I called Connor at his office at Brandon, Inc.
“Hey. I’m working on the final paperwork right now, so I should have it up to you—”
I cut him off. “I’m not at the office.”
“You’re not? We have a meeting scheduled for...oh, wait. I’m seeing the email from Emily now.” Papers rustled in the background. “Where the hell are you, Brandon?”
“I’m out for the day. And so are you.”
“What?” Connor laughed. “Is this a joke? You’ve been a complete madman about everything for the last few weeks, and now—”
“Are you coming to the Swan with me or not?”
“Right now? It’s two o’clock in the afternoon!”
“Like you give a fuck that it’s two in the afternoon.”
“You know me too well.”
“Come downstairs. I’m going to be in front of the building in ten.”
“Whatever you say, boss.”
He met me at the car.
We went to the Swan.
We stayed until three in the morning.
What the fuck did I do last night?
It comes back to me in a rush—the girl with auburn hair, kissing her hard in one of the Swan’s booths, her body thrashing against mine on the dance floor.
Our mouths don’t fit together.
It’s all wrong.
Connor grabbing my arm.
“Stop, man. Just stop.”
“Fuck off.”
“You don’t like this. I can see your face, Brandon.”
“No, I don’t like it.”
Connor’s eyes narrowed. “What happened to your girl?”
“What girl?”
“The woman in your office. She brought you dinner—I saw it. She was the one staying in your apartment, right? She seemed fucking amazing.”
“You don’t know her.”
“She’s clearly driving you crazy.”
I wheel toward Connor. I’ve lost count of my drinks. “I’m done with her.”
He puts his hand on my arm, pulls me toward a booth. “Was it serious?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters. Was it serious?”
“She was stealing from me.”
Connor laughs. “Like, the silver?”
“She was downloading shit from my computer so some shady asshole could transfer money out of my accounts.”
“Shit.” He shakes his head. “So another Emerald?”
The word slips out before I can stop myself. “No.”
“No? That seems shady as fuck.”
“No.”
My head swims, but now that Connor has asked the question and the answer has slipped out I can’t deny it. I’m too fucking drunk. I’m too fucking heartbroken.
“She’s not like Emerald.”
“Then what—”
“She had a reason. She did it for a reason. A good reason. I just never fucking listened to her. I was too pissed to care what she said.”
My stomach plummets to the floor. I’m slurring my words, probably incoherently, but something is so clear in my mind that it’s like a bell ringing down a silent street.
I was a complete prick. I reacted like the Jett I used to be when I was with Emerald, not the Jett I am when I’m with Angelica. She made me give a shit about how other people felt.