The Dirty Series 2(152)

When she sees me, her mouth drops open and she freezes in place, eyes locked on mine.

“Ace,” she says, and it’s like there’s nobody else in the lobby. Nobody else in the entire world. Or it would be, if the doorman—Artie?—had decided not to flip his newspaper down onto his podium to watch.

He is nothing to me.

Carolyn is everything.

It hits me that I’m clutching the folder so hard that the edges are curling, and Arnie’s eyes are flicking back and forth from me to Carolyn.

I can’t stand here forever, even if it feels like time has stopped.

I take a deep breath and move toward her, across the suddenly vast expanse of the lobby, and it seems to wrench Carolyn out of her frozen stillness.

If she starts to run right now, I’ll die, because I’ll be in the middle of a Lifetime movie.

The thought would make me laugh if this moment wasn’t so deadly serious.

Carolyn meets me in the middle of the lobby, and everything around us disappears.

She’s so close that I can smell the light, flowery perfume she wears—not every day, but sometimes, and I can see a slight quiver in her chin. All the words I’ve prepared over the last several hours fly right out of my mind.

I’m rendered speechless by her.

But I can’t be speechless. This is my moment to shine, damn it, and I’m not going to stand here tongue-tied until she makes the first move.

“Hi.”

The word comes out unbidden, and not nearly as confident as I hoped, but Carolyn sucks in a little breath like she’s surprised that I could think of something so genius.

She swallows.

“Hi, Ace.” Her eyes are dark, deep, and shining. The charge between us is palpable, running up and down the length of my arms. I want to reach out and take her into a hug and never let go again, but there’s housekeeping of infinite importance to be done first.

I can’t remember a damn word of all the things I wanted to say to her, but as the moment stretches on I start to think it doesn’t matter. It’s just absolutely essential that I say something, anything, to break the silence and thrust us into the future.

Even if it scares the hell out of me to do that.

Something shifts inside of me. It does scare the hell out of me. I’ve never liked to admit that shit terrifies me. I’ve never liked to be that kind of man. But it does. Things that are this important make my heart pound.

I take in another breath and fall into Carolyn’s eyes.

“It scares the fuck out of me to say this,” I start, my voice tight with emotion. “But I’m sorry. I never should have walked away from you.”

Carolyn’s hand flies to her mouth, and her eyes go bright with tears. Just as suddenly, she drops her hand. “No, you should have.” If I know her at all, she’s struggling mightily to keep her voice level. “It was none of my business. I just was wrapped up in—” She looks away, shaking her head. “I was wrapped up….”

I can’t stop myself. I reach out and put a hand on her shoulder, soothing, and then move my hand down to her wrist, taking her hand. “Carolyn.”

The sound of her name brings her up short, and she looks up into my eyes, blinking back tears, biting her lip. “Yeah?”

“I should never have walked away from you,” I say again, emphasizing every word. “It was a huge fucking mistake. Because I love you.”

Her smile is so brilliant, so wide, that it’s almost blinding. “Don’t break my heart, Ace Kingsley.”

“I’m trying to put it back together. Here.” I push the folder toward her.

She takes it, her eyebrows drawing together. “What is this?”

“Everything that happened in Italy. And more.”

With one swift movement, Carolyn pushes the folder back into my chest, insistent, with an expression that’s half grin, half pleading. “I don’t need it.”

“Carolyn—”

“I don’t need it, and I don’t want it.”

“You do.”

“I don’t.” She laughs, her voice high and free. “I don’t need it for me, and I don’t need it for my former website.”

“Former?”

“I shut it down,” she says, dropping the folder to the floor and taking both my hands in hers. “Rumors are bullshit!” she cries, and Arnie laughs and tries to hide it with a cough. “I’m done with rumors. I’m done with anything that could possibly take me away from you. I don’t need your folder. To hell with your folder. If you want to tell me something, you can tell me, on your own time, and—”

I take her face in my hands and muffle her words with a kiss that makes my chest hum with warmth and security and stability and the knowledge that I am never, never going to be alone again.