“I do. I actually—I have something planned for her. I was on my way to give it to her when I heard you’d been brought here. And you—” I give my mom’s hand another squeeze. “I couldn’t leave before I was sure that you were okay.”
“Jax,” she says, looking deeply into my eyes. “Jax, you go to that girl right now and make things right.”
“Don’t worry, Mom. I can go when I’m sure that everything here is—”
“No.” Her voice is full of authority. No question—I got all of my best qualities from her. “You go right now. I’ll be just fine here. And if I’m not—” She shrugs. “I’m getting old anyway.”
My mom’s eyes are getting heavy. She struggles to keep them open. “All right. Mom knows best.”
“I do.”
I kiss her on the forehead. “I love you, Mom.”
“You…” says my mother, and then she’s asleep.
I turn on my heel. Back to the airport. I have to get to Cate.
Chapter Forty-Three
Cate
I’m taking a turn holding Gabi while Bee and I discuss my options. She opens and closes her tiny mouth as she repositions her head against my shirt. I’ve never been around babies this new before, and despite how unbelievably tiring it seems to be when they wake you up all night, it’s making me reconsider my commitment to having everything totally perfect before I move on to other life phases.
Of course, when I think about that, my mind goes back to Jax. He’s the one I want.
And I had to go and ruin it.
At least Bee is here to help me figure out what comes next in my life.
“What do you think you’ll do?” she says as she changes Izzy’s fiftieth diaper of the day. “Are you going to go back to New York, or do you think you’ll try somewhere else—maybe out West?”
“I don’t know,” I muse, stroking Gabi’s soft head. “If I go back to the city, I’ll have to have a job lined up in a matter of days. I have savings, but not enough that I’d want to blow it all staying in my apartment while I look for a new gig.”
“Cate. Come on. Like people wouldn’t be falling all over themselves to hire you.”
One person fell all over himself to get close to me at any cost, and I pushed him away.
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve focused so much on Basiqué that I haven’t really been networking.”
“You don’t need a huge network. You have an incredible resume, and everybody who meets you will fall in love with you instantly.”
I roll my eyes. My sister has a high opinion of me, which is wonderful…but it isn’t a guarantee that I can get my life back on track now that my days at Basiqué are over. I’ll give myself another day to wallow in the uncertainty, and then I’ll snap myself out of it and start the job hunt.
You do learn one thing working for Sandra: how to shove your emotions so far down that they don’t stop you from working sixteen-hour days for months straight. Bee’s right. All I really have to do is put the effort in, and I’m sure I’ll find something else.
It just won’t be what I wanted.
I’m pretty sure nothing will be exactly what I want, now that I’ve kicked Jax to the curb. Metaphorically, of course. He probably owns half the curbs in New York City.
That’s where my heart is, in more ways than one, but how could I walk to work today knowing that he’s so close, and so untouchable?
“Maybe I’ll check out the west coast.”
“Whatever you do, don’t sound so excited about it.”
“It’s just that I can’t see—”
A knock at the door interrupts me mid-sentence.
“I’ll get it,” Dex calls from the kitchen, and he makes his way down the hall in a flash. Bee rises from the floor with Izzy in her arms and sways side to side, cooing to her, humming under her breath.
“Uh…hello,” I hear Dex say, and I wonder who it is.
Door-to-door salesmen don’t exist anymore, so it’s probably someone coming by with a gift for the twins. Things have been arriving sporadically since they came home from the hospital—a home-cooked meal here, a box of diapers there. Most people want to help out, but they’re too timid to stay long. And underneath her grateful smiles, Bee’s not looking for too many visitors. She confided that to me shortly after coming home from the hospital. It makes me feel good to know that I’m one of the only people she can tolerate.
“Jax Hunter. I’m here to see Cate…and I have a few things to deliver to you, as well.”
The instant I hear his voice, my entire body lights up. Shivers run from my neck all the way down to my tailbone, and though my arms stay relaxed—I won’t disturb Gabi for anything in the world—the rest of my muscles tense, my mouth dropping open in surprise.