"Well, that's not what I was going to say."
"That's because you've never had a dead person frolic through your brain."
"True. Not that I know of, at least."
"It is not something I ever ever ever want to happen again."
"Understandable."
"How are you so accepting of all this?"
"You make it all sound so fascinating."
"Even the headless horseman thing?"
Cookie's face softened further. "Even the headless horseman thing, though I doubt I'll get any sleep tonight."
"Sorry."
"No. I'm okay. I am a big girl. I have big girl panties. I'll put them on and be fine."
"I don't get it. Oh, you mean that metaphorically," I said as understanding dawned. Her expression deadpanned, and I giggled. Just a little.
"You know what this calls for?"
"Appletinis?"
"Apple pie."
I laughed softly. "Even better."
13
A dyslexic man walks into a bra …
-T-SHIRT
Cookie dropped me off at my apartment. I had to feed the fur ball before heading back to the café to use Dixie's computer. The only electronics I had were an old television that weighed as much as I did and a DVD player that got too hot after about forty-five minutes, at which time I had to stop the movie to let it cool down. Sadly, neither got the Internet.
I walked into my apartment and was immediately attacked by a furry gray cat and a gorgeous, though departed, Rottweiler. They were getting along famously. Who knew cats could see the departed?
After hanging up Reyes's jacket and turning up the heat, I offered Irma a high five to no avail, went to the kitchen, and poured goat's milk into a saucer for Satan's feline offspring. Just the way I knew so many other things in my life, I knew not to give her regular, store-bought milk. I knew how to work a DVD player. Turn on a clothes dryer. Cook macaroni and cheese. Everyday things were second nature. My life, however, was not. It made no sense.
I was up to the T's now, so I combed through some of those as Satana ate.
Tamara? No.
Tasha? No.
Teresa? No.
I continued through as many T's as I could think of while Artemis tugged on Irma's muumuu and I cleaned the kitchen. It needed a good scrubbing. Then again, so did I. But when I walked into the bathroom, I stopped short.
Something wasn't right. Someone had been there.
Last night, while freezing in the backseat of Mable's Fiesta, I'd realized that my landlord could've been the one who came in and changed the light bulb. So that could be easily explained. But this time my things had been moved in the bathroom. I always kept my toothpaste in the drawer to my right, but it was on the counter. The one bottle of perfume I had, which I kept in the right corner, was now by the sink.
Little things like that tended to set me on edge. I drew in a deep breath and tried to come up with a feasible explanation. It couldn't have been Ian. I'd taken the key. Then again, who knew how many he'd had made? Or maybe he had a tool to pick locks. Cops sometimes did. Still, my landlord could have come in and worked on the sink. It'd been draining slowly. Did he work on it and have to move my stuff in the process?
I tried not to get too worked up. There could be any number of reasons why my things were out of place. Heck, even Satana could have jumped up and … what? Spritzed on a little perfume? Brushed her teeth? Next she would be using my dental floss. Admittedly, it probably wasn't her.
Either way, enough worrying. Enough playing the scared victim of a potential stalker. I just had to be smart. Pay attention to my environment. Stick to well-lit areas. Hire a round-the-clock bodyguard. I'd have to look in the yellow pages for a discount bodyguard service.
I took a shower with the bathroom door locked and a chair shoved under the knob. It felt wonderful. The shower. Not the chair. Artemis chased streams of water. Satana meowed and complained about being locked inside after she was the one who insisted on coming in. Who had to smell every object in the room for two minutes before moving on to the next.
I wondered about calling the number Bobert had placed in my palm. I'd have to do it from the café, but I was going back anyway. Should I risk it? Did I have a right to? Clearly Mr. V didn't want me to get involved, but he was in danger. Frustration coursed through me.
After putting on fresh clothes, I checked all the windows to make sure they were locked, grabbed Reyes's jacket, and headed out the door.
"Be back soon," I said to Artemis and Satana. "Do not bother Irma. I mean it. You two play nice."
I ran the doggy bag I'd brought home from the restaurant over to James, then walked back to Mable's house. I hadn't planned on borrowing her car again, but it was so cold and I was so tired after spending hours in it the night before that I changed my mind.