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The Dinosaur Feather(64)

By:S. J. Gazan


All of a sudden, the sun broke through the large windows of the nursery school, and Anna heard Lily say, “My granny grows sunflowers.”

The nursery school teacher listened, replied, and pushed back the soil around the seedlings where Lily’s watering had been excessive, despite the instructions. Just as Anna was about to call her, Lily turned around. She dropped everything and leapt like a kid goat to her mother.

Anna noticed the earrings immediately. Two silver studs with glass beads. They caught the light. How long was it since she had last seen Lily? Two days? She decided not to say anything. Lily was pulling and pushing her, showing her around, jumping on the spot, climbing on to her lap, trying to slip her hands into Anna’s sleeves and up to her armpits. When one of the teachers came to give Anna some information and she hushed Lily to make herself heard, Lily had a tantrum. She threw herself on the floor, kicking, so one of her socks fell off. Anna tried to distract her by pointing to a drawing of a clown and getting Lily to tell her about it. Lily ignored her. Anna tried to bribe Lily with the offer of hot chocolate. It appeased Lily, but only for a moment, then the tantrum resumed. Anna was at her wits’ end and had no idea how to make Lily stop.

So she ended up scolding her. She didn’t shout, but her voice was loud enough for one of the assistants to come over and help Lily put her coat on. Lily stopped crying and gave her mother a miserable look. Hand in hand, they walked down the path, out through the gate, across the communal garden and home to their apartment block. Anna promised herself she would never yell at Lily again. Back in the apartment, they watched Teletubbies. Anna nodded off next to her daughter and when she woke up, Lily was gone. Anna found her in her bedroom, where she was doing pretend cooking with beads.

“I want to go to Granny’s,” she said, when Anna came in and said hi. Anna squatted and tried to embrace her daughter.

“No, darling,” she said, anxiously. “You need to be with me. You need to be with Mommy.”

“I love Granny.” Lily looked away and carried on with her cooking. She seemed contented. She babbled as she poured beads from one container into another and spiced up her dish with some chestnuts and four small birthday cake candles. Anna went into the kitchen and tried very hard not to cry. She cooked dinner. Cheese-and-bacon omelet with a green salad. She cooked peas and carrots for Lily as well. They had a nice time at the table. At first, Lily refused to eat and looked away when Anna tried to feed her. Then Anna pretended the fork had come alive and every time Lily tried to bite into it, it would squeal and hide behind the milk; then it would peek out and get scared the moment it saw Lily and her many teeth. Lily laughed so hard that she cried. A moment of harmony had been created. And then the witching hour descended on them, Lily rubbed her eyes and everything went wrong. It took Anna forty-five minutes to put her to bed. They read books and Lily’s eyelids were heavy and drooping, but still she refused to go to sleep when Anna put her in her bed and switched off the light.

“Nooooooo,” she wailed and pulled herself up to stand. Eventually Anna was forced to pin Lily to the mattress, and after a bout of kicking and screaming she fell asleep at last.

Anna stood in the dark kitchen, leaning against the table. She could see the lights in the other apartments across the street, cozy homes filled with life and warmth by the looks of it.

The telephone rang. She went to answer it. It was Cecilie. She wanted to know if everything had gone all right, how Lily was, had she been in a good mood, and had she discovered that she had left her teddy behind?

“Why did you have her ears pierced?” Anna asked.

Silence the other end.

“You had her ears pierced without asking me first,” Anna said, a little louder this time.

“Yes, sorry about that,” Cecilie said sincerely. “I didn’t think you would mind. I thought we had talked about it? I thought you had said you would be okay with it. That it looked nice on little girls.”

“You could have asked me, Mom,” Anna said.

“Yes, you’re right. Sorry, darling. No, I mean it. I’m really sorry.”

“Piercings are prone to infections, aren’t they?” Anna asked.

“They were a little infected on the first day, but it passed quickly. I put some antiseptic on them.”

“Goodnight, Mom,” Anna said and hung up. It was 8:30 p.m. and her blood was boiling.

Fifteen minutes later, Anna knocked on the door of the apartment below hers. Her downstairs neighbors had a daughter the same age as Lily. Lene answered. No, it was no problem, she said. They didn’t mind listening to the baby monitor. Anna explained she wanted to go for a run and added, casually, “I’ll just stop by the university on my way back. I’m working from home tomorrow, and I forgot an important book. Is that okay? I’m taking my cell, so just call if there’s anything.” It was her only chance to meet with Dr. Tybjerg.