What was it Professor Moritzen had said?
The very first time he called her.
She had whispered: “Is Asger all right?”
It was nine o’clock, it was Sunday, and a huge weight fell from Søren’s shoulders; he had finally gotten his touch back.
Chapter 16
When Anna got home, she climbed into bed next to Karen and slept soundly. In the morning she made pancakes and treated Lily to a bubble bath. Every time Karen passed her, Anna gave her a hug. Karen was overjoyed but confused.
“What are you up to?” she wanted to know.
Anna smiled softly.
“It’s just that . . .” She shook her head.
Karen asked if she could get Lily out of the bath, so Anna went into the living room. She had received another text message from Johannes’s mobile.
Can we meet at my place? it said.
Anna replied: No. The Natural History Museum. 3 p.m. Or I call the police. Then she returned to the bathroom. Karen was sitting on the toilet seat with a towel in her lap. Lily was squealing with delight at a plastic Bambi bath toy with a Santa-Claus-style foam beard. Anna’s heart sank. She was about to make Karen very sad. Gently, she put her hand on Karen’s back.
“I thought it might be a good idea to visit Cecilie,” she suggested. Lily stood up among the bubbles and held up her arms.
“Granny, Granny,” she shouted. Karen turned around and gave Anna a baffled look.
They walked through Assistens Cemetery. It took them nearly an hour. Lily was in her snowsuit and insisted on climbing everything. Anna and Karen wandered side by side, taking in the snow-covered landscape.
They bought cakes filled with chopped pistachios and a bag of dry, sweet rolls from an Arab bakery in Nørrebrogade. Anna and Lily stopped outside every store and admired the displays. Anna pointed and said, “Look at that” or “Isn’t that cute.”
“Come on,” Karen implored them, shivering. “Walking slowly isn’t going to get you out of it.”
Anna shot her a look.
Karen and Lily raced each other up the stairs. Anna followed. She heard joyous commotion when Cecilie opened the door.
“Hunnybunny!” Cecilie exclaimed. “Hi, Karen! How lovely to see you. Come here, sweetheart, let me give you a big hug. I’ve missed you so much.”
When Anna reached Cecilie’s apartment, Cecilie had lifted Lily up and was holding her tightly. She spotted Anna over Lily’s shoulder and paled.
“Hi, Anna,” she said, putting Lily down. Lily slipped into the apartment with familiar ease.
“Hi, Mom,” Anna said, her cheek brushing her mother’s.
“Come in. It’s freezing outside.”
Inside the hall Lily quickly pulled her toys from a big blue box and started playing. She was still in her snowsuit and wool hat. Karen helped her out of them.
“Look, this is my bed when I’m at Granny’s,” Lily chatted. “And look, I’ve got dollies, too. A little dolly and a big dolly. And teddies and books.” Karen admired everything. Anna remained in the hall. Cecilie smiled nervously.
“Aren’t you going to take off your jacket?”
“No, I’m not staying. There’s something I need to do. Is that okay with you, Karen?”
Karen looked puzzled, but she nodded.
“Are you still sulking?” Cecilie wanted to know. “Am I still banned from helping out with Lily?” She smiled patronizingly.
“Have you spoken to Jens?” Anna asked.
Cecilie blinked.
“I speak to Jens every day, Anna.”
Cecilie’s gaze was expectant and a little wounded, as if she was waiting for Anna to apologize for shouting at her the other day. Anna watched her mother in silence, aware of how uncomfortable Karen was at being monkey-in-the middle. Then Karen took charge of Lily, lifted her up, and carried her into the living room with a book. Cecilie suddenly looked ill-at-ease, as if she sensed that something was wrong.
“I know everything, Mom,” Anna said in a thick voice.
Cecilie blinked again.
“Sorry, what?”
“I know you had postpartum depression when I was born. I know you couldn’t take care of me, that you didn’t feed me properly. I know my name used to be Sara, because Dad loved that name; I know he took care of me as best he could. I know you came home from the hospital when I was nearly a year old, and I know you didn’t want anyone to ever know you had been ill. I know everything.”
Cecilie’s jaw dropped.
“I also know you love me,” Anna continued. “That you try to make up for it every day. I know you love Lily more than anything, and I know you’re afraid I will fail her, as you failed me. I think you got scared when Thomas left and I was so distraught I could barely take care of her. I hit rock bottom, and you thought history might repeat itself. You were afraid I might hurt Lily, like you hurt me.”