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The Dinosaur Feather(126)

By:S. J. Gazan


With a heavy heart, Søren walked past the trash cans and old bicycles that lined the concrete walkway.


Vibe’s stomach greeted him first when she opened the door. Her head was bullet shaped and her swollen feet were stuffed into Birkenstock sandals. She was grinning from ear to ear.

“I’m the happiest hippo on the planet,” she said, hugging Søren. “How lovely to see you! I thought you were working around the clock and would visit once the police were no longer ‘clueless,’ as the papers say.” She scrutinized him. “Hey, what’s wrong? You look completely shattered.”

Søren hung up his jacket.

“Vibe, I need to talk to you. My timing’s crap,” he nodded toward her stomach, “but it’s urgent. I can’t wring a single constructive thought out of my head until I have spoken to you.”

“That sounds serious,” Vibe said, lightly.

Her husband, John, was sitting on the sofa and the television was on. A bottle of massage oil stood on the coffee table, and John had a towel in his hands. There were also two glasses of red wine. Hers still full, while his contained just a drop. They were watching a cop show. John got up and shook Søren’s hand.

“Hiya. Sorry about today’s papers, eh?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Søren mumbled.

“Can I get you anything? A glass of wine? Are you hungry?” Vibe asked. Søren hesitated. He was starving. Vibe read his mind.

“Darling,” she said to her husband. “Please would you heat the leftovers for Søren and pour him a glass of wine? He wants to talk to me. It’s important.”

John’s eyebrows shot up.

“Is it okay if we go into the dining room? Then we won’t disturb you.”

John checked his watch. “I’ll heat some food for you,” he said, glancing at Søren. “And then I’ll take Cash for his walk, so you can talk.”

“I’m really sorry,” Søren apologized. “I didn’t mean to ruin your night.”

“That’s all right,” John replied, putting his hand on Søren’s shoulder for a moment.

Twenty minutes later Søren was eating goulash with mashed potatoes. He tried to remember when he had last eaten. Vibe poured him a glass of wine, and they made small talk while the food disappeared. When he had cleared his plate, he carried it into the kitchen so Vibe wouldn’t have to get up. In the kitchen, he drank some ice-cold water from the faucet and splashed some on his face. Then he went to the living room. Vibe was sitting in the corner of the sofa, looking expectantly and anxiously at him.

“I’ve been dreading this moment for twenty years,” she said.

Søren stopped in his tracks. “I don’t understand,” he said.

“Ah,” she said quickly. “I’m getting ahead of myself.” She looked away. “Sit down, get it off your chest, you look so tormented.”

It was Friday October 12, and it was pitch-black, cold, and nasty outside. Søren leaned back and stared at his hands. Then he told Vibe the reason for his visit.

Could she remember going on that course in Barcelona in December 2003? Yes, of course she could. Did she remember Søren going out with Henrik? Søren had told her about their night out when she came back, about the restaurant, about the girls at the neighboring table they got talking to, who had come with them to a club where they had danced. Vibe remembered it well. The night he had gone home with a woman named Katrine. Vibe’s eyes hardened to begin with, but then she started to smile, wanting to know if Søren was here to confess to an old infidelity. “Bad boy,” she said, wagging her finger at him, “but honestly,” she went on, “we were together for seventeen years and I was perfectly aware that it might happen, that it might already have happened, there’s no need to look so guilty,” she said. Søren shook his head. No, there was more.


“I couldn’t say it,” Søren said eventually. “I couldn’t make myself tell you. I didn’t want a child with you, but I had gotten another woman pregnant. I just couldn’t. It was also because of our relationship, Vibe,” he said, as though she had protested. “We were like brother and sister, for God’s sake! We weren’t lovers. There was no spark. Not really. I mean, take John. Even John treats me as if I were his brother-in-law, not a hint of jealousy even though I’ve slept with his wife more times than he has.” Vibe couldn’t help smiling. “Apart from the fact that I truly didn’t want to be a dad, then our relationship was enough of a reason for us not have a child together. And then Elvira and later Knud died . . . I just couldn’t tell you Katrine was pregnant. At least, not then.” Søren swallowed. “So I decided to wait a little. Until the storm had passed. Just like we decided not to tell Knud and Elvira we had broken up.”