‘Hello?’
‘Pops, it's me,’ Jazz says. ‘You lose your mobile?’
‘Hey Jazz. Oh my God – you are never gonna guess what happened last night.’
‘Really?’ she says, sounding completely uninterested.
‘You OK?’
‘Yeah...I think so. It's just. Something’s happened. I need to tell you something.’
‘OK, but let me tell you mine first,’ I say excitedly.
‘OK,’ she says, seeming brighter.
‘Guess who’s in the shower right now?’
‘Pops, anyone could be in the shower right now!’
‘I know that! I mean. OK, who did I spend the whole night having sex with?’
‘Oh no Pops! You’re back together with Stuart? I knew this was going to happen!’
‘No! No! It's Ryan!’
‘Oh my God! Really? How?’
‘It's a long story. Anyway, we had a long chat last night. Well, you know, in between. And he’s amazing. He’s even said I’m his girlfriend! Can you believe it?’
‘Yeah that's great babe,’ she says, sounding distant again.
‘What's up?’
‘Just promise you will be calm and not panic?’
‘Oh God! What's happened?’
She’s broken something. Or she’s set the flat on fire! That's it! She’s ringing me right now from the street, covered in one of those silver blankets that look like baking foil.
‘Have you burned the flat down?’
‘No! God, thanks for the confidence.’
‘Oh,’ I say sighing with relief. ‘OK, well if it's not that what is it? Just tell me!’
‘OK...I’m pregnant.’
THE END