The meal seems to last forever. The food is yummy, especially the chocolate cheesecake, but all I can think about is how much longer I have to wait until I can punch Stuart in the face. And Ryan. Will I ever be able to kiss him again? Have I missed my chance forever?
The speeches begin and I hear the usual crap about thanking everyone for coming and tune out, imagining Ryan naked.
That is until I see Stuart stand up. Why is he standing up in the middle of the speeches? Everyone’s looking at him smiling as he walks up to the top table and takes the microphone. What the fuck is he doing? Everyone’s acting like this is the most normal thing in the world.
‘Hi,’ he says into the microphone. ‘For those of you who don't know me, I’m Stuart. First of all I want to say congratulations to Henry and Abbey and thank you for such a beautiful day.’
The crowd swoons to him and I fight the urge not to vomit.
‘Poppy,’ he says, turning to look at me.
What the fuck?
‘Poppy, I want to take this opportunity to say that I’m sorry for everything that we’ve been through over the past year. It’s all my fault and you deserve better. That's why I’m willing to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. So...’ He takes a deep breath.
OH FUCKING GOD. NO. PLEASE NO. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NO.
‘Poppy, will you marry me?’
Chapter 33
The words echo around my head. I look around at everyone hoping they’ll all be laughing hysterically. Like this is some big joke that everyone’s in on, but all I get back is excited grins. Is he serious?
‘So, what do you say?’ he says.
All I can do is sweat profusely. Why is he doing this to me? Can I tell him to fuck off and die, or will that ruin the entire wedding? Will everyone say, remember Henry and Abbey’s wedding when Stuart proposed to Poppy and she turned him down like a bitch?
‘She seems speechless,’ he says, still smiling at me, like he expects me to be the happiest girl in the world.
‘It's a yes!’ my Mum yells from the top table. ‘Of course it's a yes!’
The crowd goes mad clapping and whistling as Stuart runs over to me and kisses me on the lips. I’m frozen. It's like I’m watching this from the ceiling, having some kind of out of body experience. Like this isn’t really my life, but a crazy dream. I discreetly pinch myself and wince from the pain.
Everyone around me is beaming.
‘Congrats Poppy!’
‘About bloody time!’
‘When’s the big day going to be?’
‘You’ll make a beautiful bride.’
‘Aren’t you a lucky girl?’
I still can't speak. I physically can't speak.
Abbey and Henry start their first dance and everyone enthusiastically starts to join in. Mum rushes over to me, grabbing and squeezing us both.
‘Poppy, darling! I’m so happy for you both.’
Dad is behind her, looking worried as Mum starts waffling on to Stuart about weddings. My wedding. If I don't start speaking soon, it's going to be my wedding day. I’ll be married to Stuart.
‘Love,’ Dad says, pulling me to one side. ‘Are you sure this is what you want?’
I still can't manage to speak, but my eyes start pricking with tears. I have to get out of here. I have to get some fresh air.
I break through the crowds, pushing them away with my hands, and head towards the patio door. I push it open and shiver from the cold air. The rain is still pouring as heavily as this morning and the night is dark. I look around and run over to a small cover a little distance away where some people are smoking, getting half drenched in the process.
I look around and take some deep breaths to try and calm myself. What a shame about the weather. The grounds of this hotel would have been gorgeous on a lovely day. There’s a view across the town, each lit house seeming like a tiny tea light in the distance.
I step back, leaning against the wall. I close my eyes, trying to hear through the ringing in my ears. I put my cheek against the cold wall and try to hold onto my consciousness. I take my shoes off and stand there considering my options.
Option one – I run. I run until I’m in Scotland. I change my name, dye my hair and pretend none of this mess ever happened.
Option two – Say no to Stuart. Break my Mum’s heart and possibly ruin Abbey and Henry’s wedding.
Option three – Marry Stuart.
Option four – Keep quiet tonight and then break it to everyone tomorrow that of course I’m not going to marry that two timing creep.
Yes, option four. I just have to keep out of the way from everyone tonight. I wonder if I could get back to my room without anyone noticing I’m gone. I look towards the door and see Stuart coming out, asking people if they’ve seen me. Crap.
I run round the corner of the garage and straight into someone smoking.
‘Oh shit, sorry.’ I look up to them apologetically, still panicked and prepared to run. ‘Ryan?’
He stares back at me, inhaling heavily on a cigarette.
‘What the hell are you doing smoking?’
‘I smoke when I’m stressed,’ he says, with contempt.
‘Why are you stressed?’ I ask, almost drooling from how he looks; his hair wet and shaggy.
‘Why do you think?’ he asks eyeing me suspiciously.
‘I don't know. That's why I asked.’
‘Maybe because you’re making a massive mistake marrying him,’ he spits. He takes another drag from the cigarette.
‘Who says I’m marrying him?’ I ask, annoyed. How could he accept that I’d marry him so easily?
‘Err, everyone. And you were hardly protesting,’ he snorts.
Even in the dark I can make out his ticked off expression. He probably can't see me fuming.
‘I couldn’t speak for shock! I’m going to tell him as soon as the weddings over that of course I’m not going to marry him.’
‘Why not tell him now?’ he says, his voice hostile.
‘Because I can't ruin the wedding,’ I protest, picturing my Mum’s face as my Aunt Margaret tells her she never saw me as the marrying type.
‘Whatever,’ he scoffs.
‘Oh fuck off Ryan. Why don't you go and boss around your girlfriend Sarah?’ I fume.
‘She’s not my girlfriend. We’ve been on like two dates.’ He shakes his head, as if I’m crazy to believe anything else.
‘That's not what she’s telling everyone. Aunt Margaret’s practically planning your wedding.’
‘Well, she's a crazy old bag. I should have known she was related to you,’ he scoffs, shooting daggers with his eyes. He takes another puff of his cigarette.
‘Give me that!’ I grab the cigarette out of his hand and throw it into the rain.
‘Poppy, what the fuck are you doing?’ he shouts outraged.
‘I don't like you smoking!’
‘Well guess what!? You can't tell me what to do anymore!’ His face is tight with anger.
‘Anymore? When the fuck could I?’
‘Before...’ he starts but then stops, looking away into the rain.
‘Before what? I can't keep up with your games!’ I shriek, tears filling my eyes.
‘My games? What about your games!’
‘I don't play any games,’ I say as tears escape. ‘Look,’ I try to swallow the tears. ‘I won't let you close enough to hurt me again. It's too painful. I think we should just say goodbye.’ My voice breaks from the drama.
‘Look,’ he says, grabbing both my shoulders forcibly. ‘Are you seriously going to get back together with Stuart?’
‘No! How many times do I have to tell you!?’ I sob.
‘Well, you told me that before you got engaged to the guy! And like I said, I didn’t hear you protesting. And you’ll probably be too concerned about hurting people’s feelings to ever tell them, and have four kids and a dog before you admit it to anyone.’
‘Well, it's not like I’ve got any better options anyway,’ I say, attempting a laugh but it instead coming out as a snort.
‘Yes you do Poppy,’ he says seriously. He takes my hands and wipes a tear from my face. ‘Don't settle for him.’
His eyes envelope me and my legs turn to jelly.
‘Sorry, don't settle for who?’ Stuart asks appearing from round the corner.
Shit. I immediately drop his hands, feeling like I’m a cheating girlfriend, which I know is ridiculous.
‘Actually, I said don't settle for you,’ Ryan says to him, his face like thunder.
Their eyes lock and I begin to panic. Ryan’s looking at Stuart with so much loathing I think Stuart might actually burst into flames.
‘I told you to stay away from her,’ Stuart says, his eyes not flickering from him once.
‘What? You told him to stay away from me? What?’ I ask, completely dazed.
‘It's nothing. Come on, let’s go,’ Stuart says, pulling on my arm. ‘Your Aunt Melinda wants to congratulate us.’
‘No! I want to know what you meant!’ I shout. ‘When did you warn him to stay away from me?’
‘No, come on we’re going.’ He pulls me away roughly, hurting my arm.
‘She doesn’t want to go,’ Ryan says, taking hold of my other hand.
‘What?’ Stuart scoffs. ‘And she’s going to stay here with you? You dumped her the minute you found out about the baby. What kind of man does that make you?’ he spits.