‘So anyway, happy birthday to you,’ she starts singing. ‘Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear P – o – p – p – y.’
‘Shut the fuck up!’ Grace shouts from underneath her sleeping bag.
‘Happy birthday to you,’ she whispers, ending the song and sticking two fingers up at the sleeping bag.
‘I’m going to wake Jazz’. I get out before Grace can rear her ugly head.
‘Knock, knock,’ I say outside Jake’s tent. ‘Jazz – can I come in?’
I really don't want to find them having sex. I slowly unzip the door of the tent, peering in to check the coast is clear. I’m relieved to see that they’re both asleep.
I crawl in and lay down next to Jazz. She looks so cosy, even in last night’s smudged eye liner. So cosy that I’m tempted to just forget breakfast and crash here for a while. That's exactly what I fancy doing - hiding away from Ryan. But then I remember the others.
‘Jazz,’ I whisper in her ear. ‘Wake up.’
She stirs slightly and then slowly opens her eyes like an angel.
‘Morning babe,’ she croaks, stretching out.
‘How you feeling?’
‘I’m OK actually.’ She clears her throat and grabs a cigarette out of her bag.
‘How was the rest of the concert?’ I ask, knowing that it would have been shit.
‘Yeah it was good,’ she says, unconvinced as she lights it and inhales deeply. I roll my eyes. ‘Oh, what am I saying, it was shit and you know it was shit.’
I laugh, but quickly cover my mouth with my hand, trying to stop myself as I remember Jake still sleeping.
‘Oh, don't worry about him. He’d sleep through a hurricane.’
‘Really?’ I examine his face closer.
‘Totally! I saw a spider one morning and screamed for about ten minutes, and when I ran in to get him he was still asleep! I had to practically sit on him to wake him up. It's really weird! He blames it on living in a house full of noisy men. He’s apparently learnt to just tune them out.’
‘Weird. Have you been to his house?’ I enquire, eager to learn how serious this relationship is.
‘Yeah, although, it makes our place look like a palace,’ she snorts.
I grimace. It must be a bloody squat.
‘Ok Pops, no need to look so horrified.’
I quickly snap my face back to normal, feeling bad.
‘Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to. Anyway,’ I lower my voice a whisper again, ‘how bloody old is he?’
‘I was waiting for you to ask this.’ She rolls her eyes. ‘He’s 21, which isn’t actually that much younger than us.’
‘I know, but he looks twelve!’
‘Shut up!’ she giggles. ‘For now, it's...fun.’
‘And what about Ollie?’
‘What about Ollie?’ she asks avoiding my gaze. ‘Anyway, where the hell did you two sneak off to last night?’
‘What do you mean?’ I ask innocently, trying not to grimace as I think of Ryan and how I must have behaved after the first drink. Why am I such a drunken lush? ‘We came back to the tent didn’t we,’ I say vaguely. Hopefully by the time they got back Grace and Izzy were asleep and would stack up with my story.
‘Yeah,’ she smiles knowingly. ‘But then you went off, apparently to the toilet, and never came back.’
‘We did come back!’ I retort quickly. Probably a bit too quickly in hindsight.
‘Well, eventually! What time did you make it back?’ she asks sitting up, her eyes wide with interest.
‘Um...it was...about 3am, I think?’
A wide smile spreads across her face.
‘Well that's a lie straight away. We went to sleep at 4.30am and there was still no sign of you.’
‘Oh....Ok, it was...a bit later than that then.’
She studies my face for a moment. ‘You don't know what time you got back, do you?’ she smiles accusingly.
‘Yes I do! It was....a bit after 5am...I think.’
‘Ha ha! I knew it! You dirty scaly wag! You have no idea what time you got back.’ She lays back, laughing hard.
‘Oh, whatever.’ I fold my arms over my chest. ‘Look, do you wanna come for breakfast or not?’
‘Oooh! Tetchy about your night with Ryan are we? Why ever could that be?’ she teases.
‘I’m going. Be ready in five minutes or we’re going without you.’
* * *
An hour later, and after trekking the distance to the nearest burger bar and queuing up for what seemed like forever, we all have bacon and sausage rolls with teas, lying on some nearby grass eating them. It's actually a nice day today, a clear blue sky with blinding sunshine. I’d appreciate it more if I didn’t have Ringo squashed up against me like an eager little puppy.
‘So, what did you guys get up to last night?’ Izzy asks smiling towards me and Ryan.
I glance quickly at Ryan, wondering how much he remembers. Unfortunately for me, I can now remember everything. All of the little cringe worthy words I said – everything! No wonder he felt the need to tell me clearly this morning that we were just friends and nothing else. I behaved like a love sick puppy. How could I have been that drunk but then still remember it all? It seems really unfair.
Every time I look at him my mouth goes a bit numb at the memory of being curled up in his arms. Probably because I know I’ll never be able to do that again. It's not something friends do often. Well, unless you’re me and Jazz after a night dancing and a greasy kebab.
‘Um...we just saw a show and had some drinks,’ I answer as casually as I can. I just wish my voice wasn’t quavering as much as it is. I stuff a big bite of my roll in my mouth so that I can't answer any more questions.
‘Really? What show?’ she asks, seeming genuinely interested.
I point to my mouth and smile. Ha ha – she can't make me swallow this.
‘It was a...modern art show,’ Ryan adds grinning at me.
‘Yeah, that's right. And after that we went for some cocktails at a nice bar,’ I add, playing along.
His grin breaks into a laugh and I join in against my better judgement. I just hope he doesn’t take my un-lady like snorts for another sign that I’m in love with him. I look back at Izzy and suddenly notice everyone staring at both of us like we’re mad.
‘Sounds like a nice evening,’ Izzy says, her mouth pouting in confusion.
‘Anyway,’ Grace interrupts, placing her untouched food onto the grass beside her. ‘What time are we leaving?’
‘I thought that maybe we’d catch another band before we go,’ Jake smiles, as eager as ever.
I see Jazz grimace discreetly.
‘Ok, sure. Whatever you want,’ Jazz smiles un-convincingly.
‘Can I catch a ride with you guys?’ I ask Ryan. I don't really care anymore about hurting Jake’s feelings. I just want to get out of here.
‘Yeah course,’ he smiles.
I look over to Jazz. She looks like she wants to kill herself rather than go to another gig.
‘Ok, I’ll see you later then,’ I say to her.
‘Yeah, I’ll see you tonight.’ She smiles and kisses me on the cheek.
‘Why, what's happening tonight?’ I ask, confused.
I was looking forward to an early night after the fiasco that was last night.
She stares wide eyed at Izzy and Grace. It suddenly dawns on me. Of course, they’ve planned something for my birthday! It's obvious. They’ve gone behind my back and organised a surprise birthday party for me. I’d actually almost forgotten it was today myself.
‘Nothing! Nothing at all. I meant, you know...I might pop round,’ she says, in her high pitched Oxford voice. Her face looks unnaturally flustered.
Well two can play that game.
‘OK, because, it is my birthday today,’ I say innocently. ‘You do remember, right? You haven’t even wished me happy birthday yet.’
‘Your birthday?’ she says, in mock surprise. ‘Oh, of course! It's your birthday! I’d completely forgot!’
She really is the worst actress in the world. They’re definitely planning a party.
‘Oh. Well, maybe I’ll see you later then,’ I say, playing my part, smiling on the inside.
‘OK. I’ll call you or something.’
They really are the worst liars in the world. I know I said I didn’t want to do anything but it's nice that they’ve gone out of their way to organise something. I suppose I should be grateful. And truth be told, I am actually pretty excited. I need some cheering up.
‘Pops, let me get your number first,’ Ringo says, jumping up.
Damn it.
* * *
The drive home always seems longer than the drive to get somewhere. It doesn’t help when you’re crushed between Izzy and Grace’s enormous suitcase. Happy birthday me.
‘I’m just gonna get a drink. You guys want anything?’ Ryan asks as we pull into a petrol station.
‘Nah, I’m cool,’ Izzy says.
‘Me too,’ Grace says.
‘Ok, back in a minute.’
As soon as the door is shut, Grace swings her head back to us, an excited grin on her face. I don't actually think I’ve ever seen her face be anything but mean. It looks strangely unnatural.
‘So guess what?’ she says, giddy with excitement.
‘What?’ Izzy says, excitedly clapping her hands.
‘I think tonight’s going to be the night with Ryan,’ she announces, twirling her honey highlights with her fingers.