‘Why would you want to though? I thought you were happy with Jake?’
‘I am! I’m just friends with Ollie. We’re just going as friends, OK!’ she suddenly explodes, throwing her hands up defensively.
‘OK, calm down! Total over-reaction.’ I sigh again. I don't think I could cope if those two got together. They both cause me so many problems separately, let alone if they joined forces. They’d probably be in jail within a week.
‘I am calm. Anyway, where the hell is he?’
Hmm, she seems awful keen to change the subject. I must grill her about this later. I look around the bar for inspiration and spot Craig in the crowd. He’s Ollie’s friend that turned out to be gay after years of me fancying him and maybe sending him the occasional love poem. I wave over politely, expecting him just to wave back, but to my surprise he comes bounding over.
‘Hey gorgeous, small world or what!’ he smiles, squeezing my arm. It's such a shame he’s gay. His arms really are beautiful. All tanned and hairy, just how I like them.
‘Yeah I know. If you were straight I’d swear you were following me, ready to drop a date rape in my drink.’
‘You should be so lucky,’ he laughs, exposing his crooked teeth. He really should get them fixed. I’m surprised he hasn’t been shunned in the gay community.
I tap Jazz on the shoulder, who seems to have been distracted by a good looking guy.
‘Jazz, this is Craig.’
‘Nice to meet you,’ she purrs seductively. ‘So how do you two know each other?’
Craig does a double take of Jazz’s chosen outfit, which I have to say she has outdone herself with. Grey sequinned baggy shorts, a loose fitting 80’s crop top that hangs over her bronzed tummy, legwarmers and Jimmy Choos. The most upsetting part of it all is that no matter how ridiculous she dresses, she always seems to pull it off.
‘I was friends with her brother when I was younger,’ he explains, winking at me.
‘Oh my God!’ She spits out her mojito. ‘You’re not Craig that Pops used to fancy when she was younger and you turned out to be gay?’
Oh. My. God. If I had a knife I would stab her.
‘Um...maybe,’ he says, smiling awkwardly at me. ‘I am gay. Poppy? Did you…fancy me?’
‘No! Of course not! Jazz is...obviously thinking of someone else,’ I shout, my voice shrill. I shoot daggers at Jazz with my eyes.
‘So, who you here with?’ he asks looking round.
‘Ollie actually. He’s around here somewhere,’ I say desperately scanning the crowd for him.
When we finally find him, Craig and his friend, who I assume is gay by his pink leather trousers, suggest going to a local gay bar.
‘Gay bar? Sounds great!’ Jazz beams, clapping excitedly, already half way outside.
I turn to follow them, Jazz already dancing off down the street, when I spot bakery goth girl running down the street towards me in a red fifties style dress. I almost don't recognise her.
‘Hey!’ I shout at her. ‘Bakery girl!’
She turns to stare at me and then smiles, recognising me. She looks absolutely stunning, her big blue eyes lined with black kohl pencil.
‘I didn’t know you lived in St Albans,’ she says, still unenthusiastically.
‘Yeah, small world or what? I take it you stood me up at Nobo then?’
‘Yeah,’ she says, smiling sheepishly. ‘I was out with a few old work friends but it’s finished early.’
‘Actually we’re just going on to a gay bar with a few friends if you fancy it?’
She narrows her gaze suspiciously. ‘Are you SURE you’re not a lesbian?’
* * *
When I get home from work on Friday I dump my bag down in the hallway and throw myself into bed, kicking off my flat shoes. Even flat shoes hurt. Everything hurts.
‘Pops?’ Jazz pops her head round the door.
‘Jazz?’
‘Who else would it be?’ She runs and jumps into bed with me, nestling herself in the duvet. ‘God, you really have a way of making a bed cosy. I don't know how you do it.’
‘What’re you doing here?’ I ask, sleepiness taking over my body as my eyelids start to close from the weight.
‘The festival, remember!’ She grabs my cheeks and squeezes them.
‘Oh crap. I completely forgot.’ I wonder if she’ll let me cry out. I seriously cannot even contemplate going to a festival right now. In fact, just going to the fridge seems too far. And I’m desperate for a tea.
‘You’re not still tired from last night are you?’
‘Yes actually, I am! I don't make a habit of dancing to Madonna in gay bars till two in the morning. Especially on a school night.’
‘Well, you really should. I love Craig! He’s fab! So funny.’
‘Yeah, he’s great, isn’t he?’ I sigh, remembering how devastated I was when I caught him snogging Peter Morris at Ollie’s 18th birthday party.
‘Totally! I can see why you fancied him.’
‘Yeah, thanks for that by the way.’
‘No probs,’ she smiles. ‘Even your friend Goth Girl loosened up after a few shots.’
We should really find out her name.
‘She’s actually quite a laugh if you just get her annihilated. I couldn’t believe it when she flashed the barman,’ she says, giggling at the memory.
I try to smile but I’m too tired to even try.
‘Yeah, but you were hardly any better. Kissing that bouncer on his bald head and calling him your Buddha.’
‘Ha ha, yeah I’d forgotten about that.’ She laughs, seeming proud of herself. ‘What about you! You kept asking everyone if you looked like a lesbian! What the hell was that all about?’
‘Oh....I don't know,’ I say, playing ignorant. ‘God, I’m just so tired. Victor made me colour code all of his files and then he decided he didn’t like the colours.’
‘Well, don't worry,’ she waves, completely dismissing how soul destroying that must have been. ‘We’ve still got an hour before we leave. Oh and Izzy’s convinced Grace and Ryan to come now.’
His name makes my body tense in response. It feels like I haven’t seen him for days. Only the odd polite conversation in the morning. I still haven’t brought myself to ask about Big Tits Tabitha.
‘Really?’ I ask a little too enthusiastically.
‘Yep. Two of Jake’s friends had some dodgy curry or something, and now it’s coming out of both ends.’
Gross. I glance at my watch, suddenly aware of how quickly she got here.
‘Did you finish work early?’
‘Erm...’ she looks around sheepishly. ‘Yeah....I got a half day.’
‘Jazz,’ I say warningly. ‘Tell me the truth.’
‘I am telling you the truth!’ she shouts defensively, sitting up, pouting her lips.
‘Really? Pinky swear?’ I hold up my pinky finger and watch her reaction. Jazz is the only adult I know that genuinely believes if you pinky swear something that isn’t true you’ll burn in hell, getting tortured by evil pixies.
She opens her mouth to say something and then decides against it. She slumps over and exhales heavily.
‘OK!’ She throws herself face down on the bed. ‘They kind of fired me,’ she muffles through the duvet.
‘They what?’ I ask, dragging her head up by her hair.
‘Ouch! Don't touch the hair bitch.’
I let go and open my mouth to ask what happened, but the truth is that I’m too exhausted to ask.
‘Let’s just try and have fun,’ she smiles. ‘We’ll talk about it properly on Monday. Come on.’ She jumps out of bed and whips the duvet back, exposing me to the cold.
I look outside into the dreary summer evening, clouds looming above, threatening to rain. Hardly the type of weather needed to sleep in a field.
‘Ok, what do I need?’ I start searching around for my rucksack unenthusiastically. She’s not going to give up.
‘You just need something to wear now.’ She opens her wardrobe. ‘Plus a pair of fresh knickers, socks and a new top for tomorrow. Oh, and baby wipes and make up. That should cover it.’
She places a pair of miniature shorts, that look like they could fit a Barbie doll, on the bed with a pink top.
‘Jazz,’ I take her hand. ‘If you’re gonna force me to go, I’m going in my own clothes.’
* * *
‘Jake’s here!’ Jazz calls from the front door.
I’m actually really looking forward to meeting him. Especially as Jazz seems so excited whenever she talks about him. I just hope my brother doesn’t screw it all up for her.
I walk out into the hallway and find her snogging his face off. I cough slightly to show that I’m here and they look up, not nearly as embarrassed as they should be.
‘Oh, Jake, this is Poppy,’ she says, smiling as if she slept with a hanger in her mouth.
‘Hi, nice to meet you.’ I smile politely, looking at the child that stands in front of me.
Don't get me wrong, he’s gorgeous – all short blonde hair and blue eyes set against bronzed skin, but my God – he’s so young! He must only be about 19! Has he got his Mum’s permission to come this weekend? They would have really gorgeous children though.
‘You too,’ Jake nods. ‘Are you driving down with us?’