The Debt & the Doormat(10)

I fill her in with the excruciating details. It really does amaze me how she can be so lucky and me so the complete opposite. In one day she’s managed to get a job, start to deal with her debt, paint my sitting room a God awful colour and get a date. What have I done? I’ve been chained to a banister. She really is like a cat, always landing on her feet. I’m more like a dog with a missing leg and one eye, that people feel sorry for but are too horrified to take home.

‘Wow chick, it sounds like you’ve had a right adventure,’ she laughs, as if she’s not surprised. ‘So, what do you think of the guys in the house?’

I roll my eyes with contempt.

She raises her eyebrows. ‘That bad?’

‘Well, Izzy’s lovely obviously, even if she is like a puppy on speed.’

Jazz lets out a giggle and I can tell the feeling is mutual.

‘But Grace is a total bitch and that Ryan’s a complete weirdo.’

‘Don’t be so judgemental! Once you get to know them they’re fab. You just have to know how to handle them,’ she winks.

Know how to handle them? What, shag Ryan like Grace and Izzy? I don't think so. He did never say that Jazz had got with him, but it does make me wonder. Wonder whether she ever did fancy him.

‘I suppose.’ I say, already deciding to ignore her advice. ‘Jesus, your rooms a bloody mess by the way. I was trying to sort it out a bit and I found loads of old letters. Even the one you made me write to Him!’

‘Oh my God! I’d completely forgotten about that!’ she giggles.

‘Exactly. That's how much your room is a shit tip.’

‘Oh well. I’ll just have to hope the world doesn’t end from this catastrophe.’ She rolls her eyes and flicks me with some paint.

‘Stop!’ I exclaim, ducking out of the way just in time for it to get the other wall.

I can't stop wondering if Jazz ever had a crush on Ryan. Whether it's a house curse.

‘Anyway....can I ask a weird question?’ I already feel my cheeks reddening.

‘Yeah, but it’s not more questions about money is it? You’re boring me to death with all of this crap.’

‘No...It’s...well...’

‘Jesus, just spit it out!’

‘Ok.’ I take a deep breath, wondering if I’m being ridiculous to even ask this. ‘Have you ever...slept with Ryan?’ I look at the floor, not wanting to look her in the eye.

The sound of hysterical laughing makes me look up. Her face is bright red with hysterics, her eyes watering and she’s holding her crotch with her hand, as if to stop her peeing her pants.

‘What’s so funny about that?’ I ask, my cheeks burning. I wish I’d never asked.

‘Sorry, it’s just...’ She barely finishes her sentence before she’s collapsed over again in a big head of hysterics.

‘It’s not that funny! He has slept with the other two,’ I say defensively crossing my arms.

I haven’t seen her laughing this hard since our Ireland trip when we got so drunk I was convinced the cows were staring at me. My stomach muscles ached for days. I wish she’d stop laughing. The longer it goes on the longer I’m contemplating throwing myself out of the window.

‘Stop!’ I demand, my face now puce.

‘Sorry, sorry.’ She straightens herself up and seems to pull herself together.

‘Well, is that a no?’

‘Yes,’ she laughs. She quickly turns her face into a stern one, probably sensing my mood. ‘I’ve never slept with Ryan. I mean, God! He’s more like an older brother or something. I really don’t even really see him that way. In a nice way obviously, but no. I can honestly say I’ve never felt attracted to him.’

‘Oh, ok.’

‘I don’t really get it to be honest. Everyone seems to just swoon at his feet and he doesn’t even seem to try. I mean obviously he is gorgeous but I don't see what the big deal is. Yet girls are constantly coming out of his bedroom in the morning. It’s weird.’

‘Great, so I’m living with a man whore.’

‘Why do you ask anyway?’ Her expression quickly changes to excitement. ‘Oh my God, don’t tell me you’ve fallen for his charms too?’

‘Don’t be ridiculous!’ I snap, feeling myself redden again. ‘I just wondered that's all.’

‘Good,’ she nods warningly. ‘Don't go falling for him. He’s a player. Doesn’t keep a girl for more than a night. In fact Grace is constantly trying to re-bed him. You should see her when she’s got a drink in her, all over him like a bad rash. But I don’t think he’s interested in her, which probably infuriates her.’

I can’t really imagine a man being able to turn Grace down. Even though she’s a massive bitch, she’s a force to be reckoned with, what with her amazing figure and chiselled cheekbones.

‘Anyway, now it’s my turn,’ Jazz declares.

I look at her confused. What can she question me on?

‘You honestly think that by wearing a yellow hair band, that's taking my orders? When I say yellow I mean wear fucking yellow. Not some pathetic attempt.’

I touch the hair band and feel my cheeks burn. I do feel a bit awful. I mean, here she is going above and beyond and I can’t even wear yellow.

‘And you’re in flat shoes! And I bet your underwear is gross, all grey and baggy?’

How does she know this?

‘A general tip babe; if your underwear is older than the pizza delivery boy it's time to get some new ones.’

‘Oh shut up. It's totally pink and pretty actually,’ I say hoping she’ll drop it.

‘Really?’ she taunts, jumping over to me and tugging at my trousers.

‘Jazz! Get off me, you bloody lesbian!’

‘I vanna see your knickers!’ she shouts in a loud German accent, giggling.

‘Get off!’ I screech, as she wrestles me to the floor.

My phone beeping stops her. She runs off and gets it from my bag.

‘Oh my God,’ she says, her eyes lighting up as she reads it. ‘Did you meet someone last night?’

Meet someone? Crap, could it be the sexy stranger? I was sure that Ryan would have scared him off.

‘Why? What does it say?’

‘Wouldn’t you like to know,’ she teases, stalking round the sofa slowly.

‘Just tell me for God’s sake.’

‘Ok, it says, “Hey sexy, it's Hugh from last night. Fancy a bite to eat tonight? Kiss kiss.”’ She grins widely at me, her eyes lit up with intrigue. ‘Tell me EVERYTHING!’

‘Oh, he’s just some guy from last night. I didn’t even know his name until now. He was good looking I suppose, but...he was kinda pushy.’

‘Kinda pushy is what you want! I love a man that takes charge.’

‘I’m sure you do.’ I sigh heavily, sure she’s not going to drop this.

‘Well! I’m going to text back and say you’d love to.’ She starts texting away and I instantly panic, my sweat glands going into overdrive.

‘No, Jazz don't! I can't!’

I jump up to wrestle her to the ground, trying to pry my phone from her fingers, but my God she’s strong.

‘I know nothing about him, apart from the fact he likes tongue kissing strangers on the dance floor. Hardly a glowing reputation. I mean, does he even know my name?’

‘Who fucking cares! You just want a good shag, no?’ She kicks me away.

‘No! And what if he’s a total nutter out to murder me?’

‘Jeez, constantly with the drama. You’ve been watching too much Crimewatch; I blame your mother.’

‘Just give me the fucking phone!’ I scream, straddling her with my legs and pushing her hands over her head, her delicate fingers still prised protectively around the phone.

‘Hello? Girls?’

I turn my head in shock to see Raj walking into the sitting room. What is he doing here?

‘Ha ha! I pressed send,’ Jazz laughs.

I grunt in frustration and fall to the floor.

‘What? Raj, what are you doing here?’

‘Sorry girls,’ he says, cowering shyly. ‘The door was open. I just wondered if you wanted some onion bhajee’s? They went off yesterday but there’s nothing wrong with them.’

‘No thanks,’ Jazz announces proudly, her face red from the wrestling. ‘We’ve got dinner dates.’





Chapter 5




I take a deep breath as I walk into the restaurant. This is going to be fine. No – better than fine. It's going to be a fantastic evening. It doesn’t matter that this is your first date since Him. Of course not. I’m sure it will be fine; no, amazing! I take my time to walk down the steps, all too aware of Jazz’s six inch heels that are already digging into my ankles.

I scan the room, trying to find him or Jazz. I decided to meet him in the same Pizza Express so I could use Jazz for moral support. Maybe he’s stood me up. Maybe he’s had a better offer. Maybe Jazz has set me up and didn’t plan on coming here at all.

‘Hey sexy,’ a male voice whispers in my ear, appearing out of nowhere.

‘Fuck!’ I shout, alarmed, jerking my head round in shock.

The whole restaurant turns round to stare at me. Perhaps I was a teeny tiny bit loud.

‘Shall we go to our table?’ he asks ignoring my crazy behaviour.

I feel his long strong hands on my neck and I flinch, before I realise he’s taking my coat off me. It feels strange to have someone taking off my coat, almost intimate really. But I have to pull myself together. It's just been so long since anyone has touched me. At all. His eyes are everywhere, admiring Jazz’s purple dress that she’d squeezed me into. It’s so tight I can barely breathe, but Jazz reassures me that's how I’m supposed to feel.