The last thing she wanted to do was run into Eve again, so when she opened the door to the carriage house and stepped into the kitchen, she breathed out a huge sigh of relief to see that the other woman wasn't there.
She had no idea whether or not Deacon had returned, but either way, she had to face things head-on, so she went up the stairs to the rooms they shared. She used her thumb on the fingerprint pad and waited as it scanned her and unlocked the door. He'd had her programmed in once she'd moved her day-to-day things there.
The door snicked open and she pushed it wide. The room was empty. Her palms were sweaty and she relaxed as she put her purse away. She'd shower and try to get some sleep. It would do no good to worry herself into exhaustion.
She sat down on the bed to kick off her shoes and undress, but fatigue came over her and she lay back on the bed for a few minutes to rest her eyes. The next time she opened them was when she heard the familiar sound of the lock opening on the door and felt the presence of someone else in the room.
She turned her head and drank in the sight of him. She was still sleepy and disoriented, but her brain was new enough to see that he was whole and uninjured. Though he looked like hell. His black face paint was smeared from sweat and his hair was damp. He looked like a savage.
"Hey," he said softly, his gaze taking in every inch of her. He looked surprised and relieved to see her.
"Hey, yourself," she said. And then every word Eve had poisoned her mind with came back like a flood.
They stared at each other in silence for a few moments before Deacon came toward her. He picked up the chair that sat against the wall and moved it in front of her on the bed.
"I'm filthy," he said. "I don't want to get the bed dirty."
"I need to talk to you," she said, coming to a sitting position to face him. She probably looked like hell, but there wasn't anything she could do about it at the moment.
"I thought you might," he said, his voice sober. "I ran into Eve downstairs. She mentioned you have quite a temper."
She tried to smile, but she wasn't a miracle worker. "I need to ask you something," she said. "And I need the truth."
"Before you do, I want to tell you something."
She swallowed and thought this might be the end. His face was so serious, his expression almost sad.
"Okay," she agreed. "Go ahead and tell me."
"Actually, I want to tell you two things." He reached out and took one of her hands and squeezed it gently. "The first is that I won't lie to you. If you have something to ask me, you'll get the truth. I promise you that."
"What's the second thing?" she asked.
"I love you."
Her mouth dropped open and she tried to remember to breathe, but it wasn't coming as easily as it usually did. It wasn't what she'd been expecting.
"You . . . you do?" she asked. And then she burst into tears.
Before she knew it, she'd been scooped up into his arms and was sitting on his lap. Her head was tucked into his shoulder, and she didn't care one bit how ridiculous she must look or that he might be smearing black face paint all over her.
"I'm sorry," she said, sniffling. "You just surprised me."
"I can see that," he said, and she could feel his smile on the top of her head. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. That you couldn't tell how much I love you. You're like my oxygen, Tess. I can't breathe without you.
"For two years I've been living as if I were already dead. But loving you has given me a hope I've never had before. You're my light in the darkness. Don't you see that?"
She saw the sincerity in his eyes and she trembled as she stroked his shoulder. "I didn't believe her," she said. "Eve, I mean. Not really. Though she got in her fair share of darts. She knew exactly what to say to hit me where I'm weakest."
"It's her specialty," he said. "I told her you were too smart to be fooled by her half-truths."
"I have to know though," she said and swallowed again. "Did she order you to seduce me?"
"Yes," he said without hesitation. "A few weeks ago. But I'd already decided a long time ago that I was going to pursue you with full force once you were ready. It just so happened you being ready and her orders coincided."
"Okay," she said. "I just had to ask. I would've wondered forever if we hadn't cleared the air. I let her get to me. Even as I was standing there telling myself not to let it happen, she succeeded. I don't care what she says. I love you too. I know the consequences of this life and what it means. We can do this. What I don't want to do is live without you. I'd also prefer to not have to ever speak to her again. All I can think of when I see her is how damned perfect the two of you must have been together. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. It still baffles me you'd pick me when you've had something like that. I've never really felt jealousy before. But when I look at her I want to claw her eyes out."