"Don't pressure me," she said. "I'm through being nice and accommodating. I'm going to do what I want to do for once, and to hell with everyone else. I've gotten mean." She narrowed her eyes and tried to look tough. More than likely she probably looked like a deranged leprechaun.
"I'm going to go home and drink a gallon of hot tea and read until my eyes fall out. I'm going to avoid my mother, the sheriff, and anyone else who knocks on my door tomorrow. Because thanks to you and the way you paraded me through town on the motorcycle, everyone is going to think I've won the bet on getting you into bed."
Deacon's eyes twinkled. "Technically, you could probably claim the prize. Oral sex is still sex. You'd have to ask if a motorcycle was acceptable instead of the bed. But it's basically semantics."
"Watch it, buddy. I will let my mother loose on that carriage house and laugh with evil glee as she practices her wiles on all of you," she said. "Before she's done, I guarantee at least one of you will have given her money or will take her to the nearest casino. Theodora could convince the pope he was Jewish. She's tricky."
"Wow, you have gotten mean." He handed her the helmet and got on the bike.
"Thank you," she responded primly, hopping on behind him. "I think I'm starting to get the hang of it."
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
"Your mama's gone again," Tatiana said in Russian.
Every Monday morning, Tess woke up at the crack of dawn and drove to the Back Acres Retirement Village for yoga with her grandmother. It didn't do a lot for her pride to sit in a room full of seniors who were sixty-five plus and be breathing harder than they were by the end of each session. But she did it anyway so she could spend time with her grandmother and stay relatively healthy at the same time.
It wasn't doing Tess a lot of good to be in Prayer Pose and talking about her mother. Theodora wasn't good for relaxation techniques. Not to mention there was always a small part of her that held out hope that Theodora had changed. That she was happy running the Clip n' Curl and that she was content to stay and live a normal life with her family.
"Where'd she go?" she asked, keeping their conversation in Russian so the others couldn't eavesdrop.
"I'm not sure, but she left with Carl Robinson."
Tess gasped and broke her pose to stare at her grandmother. "Are you kidding me? Carl wouldn't be that stupid."
"Your mother has spent her life making men stupid as long as they feed her addiction. You know that better than anyone."
Tess sighed and took a deep breath. Then another and went back into Prayer Pose. Meditation wasn't going to work for her today. "It's just that she seemed to be doing better. She was fine when we were at the salon on Friday. And it's been months since she's been to the casino."
"That doesn't mean she hasn't been feeding her addiction in the meantime. There's online gaming and scratch-offs at the gas station. She just hasn't had the cash flow to make a big trip. And apparently she found the cash flow with Carl. She called me Saturday night, and I could tell she was upset about something. She'd heard about your joyride with one of those hotties you've got working for you."
Tess was a little taken aback at her grandmother's use of the word "hotties," but mostly she was just confused. She moved into Warrior Pose and said, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"You know how competitive Theodora is. Part of her problem is she wants what everyone else has, and she thinks she's entitled to it. It's part of her sickness. So once she heard the news about your ride through town, she automatically assumed you got him into bed and won the bet. She was counting on that money, you know."
Tess knew that was part of the sickness as well. Because a normal person wouldn't have counted on money that was never theirs to count on. They all moved to Downward Dog and Tess felt the blood rush to her head. Her hair was up in a bun, but sweaty tendrils were sticking to her face. She wasn't a good sweater.
"But what about Carl?" she asked. "He should know better. They should all know better. It's not like Theodora doesn't have a reputation."
"It's a competition to her, and Carl or the sheriff would be the next best thing to the men who work for you. My guess is the sheriff didn't bite, so she called Carl to come fix a leaky pipe or something. I heard it all from Janet Rhodes, who lives next door to Carl and Tamara. Janet said Carl left for a plumbing call early Sunday morning at Theodora's, and she said there was plumbing going on, but nothing to do with leaky pipes if you get my drift."