"Unfortunately, I'm not. I'd been assigned a mission I didn't morally agree with, and I refused the job. They decided I was too dangerous to keep around after that, so they disavowed me and sanctioned my death. I didn't have any family still alive. My dad died of cancer about a decade ago, and my mom died a few months after with undiagnosed ovarian cancer. They'd always thought I was a teacher. My cover was that complete-from the diploma on the wall to pictures of me with some of my students. They never knew any differently.
"I lived a lie my entire time with the CIA. My house was staged to be what people needed to see. And I was always careful not to collect personal items-photographs or heirlooms. I always lived with the assumption that one day I'd have to walk away from it all. And that's what I did after they sanctioned my death. I packed a duffel bag, torched my house, and went rogue.
"I was on the run for six months before Eve Winter found me." He leaned his back against a tree and tried to get comfortable. Thinking about his past was never easy. "I was bone tired. The agents they'd sent after me were good. I was better. But I was getting desperate."
He looked at her and grinned, the cocky expression on his face almost reassuring. Chills pebbled on her as the sky turned brilliant orange with the setting sun, and the slowing raindrops looked like molten fire as they fell from the sky. She moved closer to him, and he handed her the other blanket to wrap around herself. She took a seat across from him, somehow feeling like what he was sharing should be done in whispers.
"I was laying in bed one night in Austin, in a run-down motel that catered to druggies and prostitutes. I'd only been there for a night, and was only planning to stay one more. I'd picked a unit right in the middle of several other units. There was no back exit or window. Just a single door and a small window to get inside. I'd set little traps when I was sleeping. A chair under the knob. Glasses in front of the door. Blackout paper taped on the window. And I'd sleep with my gun under my pillow, with my hand resting on it, just in case.
"I remember when I woke up, knowing something was wrong. I was sleeping on my back and both my hands were crossed over my chest. I opened my eyes and listened, but there was nothing. There's something about the silence of a room that isn't empty. A feeling. An intuition. All I knew was that I wasn't alone. And when I moved my hand back under my pillow, my weapon was gone.
"I moved fast, grabbing the lamp from the bedside table and throwing it as I rolled to the floor. It was then the lights came on and I came face-to-face with Eve. She just stood there like the Angel of Death. And when she told me she was there to recruit me, I thought she was working for the enemy. No one in my own government would touch me. She told me she was there to help me die, but then she'd bring me back from the grave."
Tess's head was spinning. It was like one of Miller's novels. "Who is she really?"
"She's a troubleshooter for a covert organization, and I'll spare your life by not telling you the name at this point. It's so covert not even the president knows of its existence."
"That seems dangerous," she said.
"It can be," he agreed. "But there are a lot of things the president doesn't know. Knowledge is best used when it's shared by many people.
"After a surge of domestic terror attacks in 2005, it was created as a counterterrorism unit strictly within the U.S. borders. It was actually spearheaded by a woman name Celia Kyle. She's the CEO of the largest weapons manufacturer in the world. She's our supplier, from helicopters to scuba gear to submachine guns. She convinced the secretary of defense to come on board. The third party is the assistant attorney general for national defense out of the Justice Department. The three of them make up Neptune."
He took off his G-Shock watch and turned it over so she could see the trident etched on the back.
"The trident?" she asked.
"It's our symbol. It stands for the three who allowed us all to live by dying, though I've always believed Eve is the real mastermind behind the whole organization. They'd be nowhere without her. But the three of them are called The Directors.
"Only Eve really knows what's going on between all the moving parts. And she reports what she deems necessary to The Directors. There are two factions within Neptune. The first is called The Shadow. They're the organizers. They make sure supplies are where they're needed, when they're needed. They're the cleanup team that hides bodies and makes sure everything looks exactly as it did before all hell broke loose."